BM in trousers

Have you picked a BM dress? if so would be handy to see the style

Hello Miss Winter! No, not picked BM dresses yet. Not sure how I should coordinate them! Just want some ideas for what I should/could look for!

Hmm. I've never seen it done, but that isn't to say it can't be! The first suit you've pictured is quite masculine in tailoring whilst the second one is more feminine (sorry to be so gender prescriptive) - do you know what she prefers? I think it would be nice if she matches or at least tones with the other bms, so it's obvious she's one and not just a guest.

Asos are pretty good for plus sizes, you could also try simply be, curvissa or next? But I admit I never buy tailoring so I can only really speak for their dresses!

This is partly my issue. I think I know what she would prefer, but she hasn't directly approached the subject with me so I don't want to be insensitive and ask. I did show her various pictures of suits and she did like the more "masculine" styles. She's happy to wear heels and wear makeup, but her style is more gender fluid. I'm trying to be as respectful as I can and not come across wrong!

Jumpsuits could also be a shout- i know crica 2011 romantica of devon (i think) did the most stunning jumpsuit for BM's but lots of highstreet places do gorgeous jumpsuits.

another thought would be palazzo pants and a flowy blouse to give it a softer, more bridesmaidy look

Ooh, how lovely! I think if I were doing this I'd make all the dresses different too so it isn't so starkly different, iykwim? Can't help on the where though, although will research for you if you ask nicely

Ooh, I love that idea Miss Winter! Callela, would something like this be a little too girly?

Loving the jumpsuit idea, might be easier to get one of those to match BMs then a suit? As said above I would prob opt for them all to be in slightly different dresses so the one in trousers didn't feel the odd one out?

Thanks for the ideas ladies! I don't know... I fear it may verge on being too girlie. I know she'd wear it to make me happy or whatever, but I don't care about that! I want her to be comfortable and enjoy her day without feeling like she's compromising her own identity to fit in with everyone else IYKWIM?

The styles we looked at, she liked the more tailored trousers. I'll suggest the jumpsuit idea to her though! Could always get a blazer or something for over the top!

She won't look like a groomsman anyway... our fellas are all in kilts!

That jumpsuit is stunning MrsShep!

To be honest if that isn't too girlie for your BM that jumpsuit would be an option for all four BMs in my view. It's a great compromise.

Wrong colours but just an idea.

the good thing with jumpsuits is you can get more tailored styles too

Oh thanks for posting. I'll be following as I have the same thing. It's a toughy isn't it?! My BM is in the USA too so not sure what we're going to do but we'll find something

I sent the jumpsuit pic to her and she's not really a fan. She says baggy leg stuff makes her legs look a lot bigger.

I wanted to have a sort of floaty look going on with them all, so maybe a pair of trousers and a chiffon blouse might work?

The other 3 BM's have similar style/taste to me so I can tell if they'll like something easily enough!

I love jumpsuits. They look terrible on me though! I think I'm too old and fat. I bought a playsuit...bad idea. H took one look at me in it and said "no"

I think she will look different to the other bms, there's no disguising that - it's a question of how bothered you and she are by it!

I'm fine with her looking different to the other girls, they all have their own individual style and I'm sure it'll still show through on the day! I just want to find a way to make her look/feel included as a part of the wedding party.

I think if they are all in similar colours and I find maybe an accessory to link them all? Maybe a hairband, or jewellery?

Could she not just wear a suit, and have a tie/buttonhole to match the BM's? She could still carry a bouquet (if that's what you're having) and if she is happy to wear shoes to match the BM's (and maybe the same hairstyle/accessories) as well then I think that it would be obvious that she is a BM.

I also consider myself to be gender fluid and I think I would be even more uncomfortable in a jumpsuit/blouse than a dress to be honest. And actually, when I wear a full 'masculine' suit I manage to look more feminine than I do in a dress!

Hi Squidgy! I appreciate your comments! Making her feel uncomfortable is the very last thing I want to do!

I'm going to ask her to find some pictures and send them over so I can get an idea of what she likes and what she's comfortable with.

Alternatively, put them all in suits ?

This could work? Still ties in with the colour scheme to make her a part of the bridal party.

It does look great but it's not for me, and I know the other girls feel more comfortable in dresses than trousers!

It's just not something I can find many reference images with a mixture of dresses and suits for BM's so I hoped the folks of Hitched could help!

She says she's happy with the pictures I've shown her and is happy to tweak things so she matched the other BM's. I better get my thinking cap on! (Mrs Shep - Heeeeelp! We all know you've got mad shopping skills!)

I'm sure she could find some nice tailored purple trousers and a blouse or shirt. I wouldn't worry about matching colours exactly, if she'll be walking down the aisle then it will be obvious that she's a bridesmaid anyway and if she has a bouquet or matching button hole then that will link them all together.

You could do something like this:

which could look rather chic.

with tonal purple flowers:

which would tie it all together if the purples didn't match as well as you'd hope!

I think it'll be super tough finding a purple suit. How about white (or a light grey, or even the kilt colours ) trousers and a purple blouse? With her hair done and a bouquet in hand she'll look great. As soon as I get chance I'll get shopping ;-)

*a-hem* see above

This is the tartan that the kilts are in. No idea how I'm going to make the colours work! It has been considered to switch to navy but that's still under discussion!

**Edit** these are the colours I'm thinking

Found a jacket, not sure what trousers would go though!

How about something like this?

Then I can have the girls all in different shades?

I like the ankle trouser of the darker suit very much and it's a lovely colour.

i hate to be blunt- is she going for a masculine look or is it a comfort thing she's after? just trying to guage which direction for help.

as if you're not going masculine, i'd lose the jacket personally and swap it out for a tunic top and it seems a bit more bridesmaid-y to me personally.

but in all honesty, if she's comfortable, just like a bride, she'll radiate beauty whatever she's in as she'll feel happy and relaxed and when that happens, not a soul will care what she's in! ^_^

Miss W, I believe it's a more masculine style she'd prefer, and when showing her different ideas that's what she goes to.

It's more about her not being comfortable wearing a dress because it isn't her. It's my understanding that she identifies more towards male and would rather be referred to as he/they but isn't fully there yet or open about it.

I'm trying hard not to come across all wrong and I'm still unsure of the pronouns to use etc. So sorry if I come across as ignorant or rude or if I cause any offence! I'm really just trying to be conscientious of my FSIL!

Right- ok. now we've a clearer direction. will have a look around after dinner. the more inspiration you have hopefully you'll end up with a clear and happy picture for everyone! ^_^

I like the blue suit with the turn ups if she's going for a more masculine look. Is she still ok to have flowers?

I'm not sure if this is feasible but could you suggest she wears blue trousers to match your BMs and has a tartan suit jacket made so she matches both the groomsmen and the BMs. She could wear that with a crisp white shirt.

It's more difficult for you though as you'll have to match the BMs dresses to the tartan and it's probably more expensive than going for a ready made suit.

Here's a whole mess-a-links. some purples, some blues. also some blouses just in case something catches the eye of you both:

https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sale/woman/tops/view-all/poplin-press-stud-shirt-c731548p2509516.html

https://www.phase-eight.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-P8-UK-Site/en/Product-Show?pid=501246751

https://www.phase-eight.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-P8-UK-Site/en/Product-Show?pid=501170770

http://shop.mango.com/GB/p0/women/clothing/blouses-and-shirts/blouses/contrast-neck-blouse/?id=51080322_56&n=1&s=prendas.pantalones&ident=0_color9_0_1436890812298&ts=1436890812298

http://shop.mango.com/GB/p0/women/clothing/blouses-and-shirts/blouses/pleated-panel-blouse/?id=41095641_51&n=1&s=prendas.pantalones&ident=0_color9_0_1436890812298&ts=1436890812298

http://shop.mango.com/GB/p0/women/clothing/trousers/rolled-up-hem-trousers/?id=41040424_56&n=1&s=prendas.pantalones&ident=0_color9_0_1436890812298&ts=1436890812298

http://shop.mango.com/GB/p0/women/clothing/trousers/suit-textured-trousers/?id=41027644_69&n=1&s=prendas.pantalones&ident=0_color9_0_1436890812298&ts=1436890812298

http://shop.mango.com/GB/p0/women/clothing/trousers/pleat-detail-trousers/?id=41043565_94&n=1&s=prendas.pantalones&ident=0_color13_0_1436890812298&ts=1436890812298

http://shop.mango.com/GB/p0/women/clothing/trousers/wool-straight-fit-trousers/?id=51060269_94&n=1&s=prendas.pantalones&ident=0_color13_0_1436890812298&ts=1436890812298

personally LOVE links 3 & 4 with a nice grey trouser but that's me.

hopefully it inspires!

I think you're being very accommodating and thoughtful - but if you're worried about not getting it quite right, leave it up to her. Send her photos of BM dresses you like and ask her to send you pictures of suits/trousers that she is comfortable with and that she thinks will tone with the dresses. That way you completely avoid worrying that you are pushing her into something she is uncomfortable with. good luck!