Bridal Party - Asking them to pay half towards suit?!

I want to say that this is what my OH is doing for the wedding he is an usher for this June. They were originally told that they were being gifted suits to keep, and now they are being asked to pay for some of it although I'm not sure how much. I think in general men tend to be more laid back about these kinds of things, especially since they don't have to worry about hair and makeup costs too.

I have several alternative suggestions though. We had a whole dilemma with our suits because our wedding is abroad so we weren't sure whether to buy, rent, or even which country we should rent in. If you are just renting a store brand, it's probably not that much of a price or quality difference to buy a suit from a high street shop to keep, especially if there is a good sale. This is the route my OH's friend is taking with his wedding. The men in the wedding party might be more open for paying for half the cost if they get to keep the suits.

Another suggestion is to try a local suit shop (if you aren't using one already). My OH went to a small shop in his village, they had a much larger selection, the price was lower, and they said the quality was vastly better than the chain stores everyone recommended they try. This was a place that made bespoke suits as well so they had a very high standard for all their products, including rentals.

The third suggestion is to have the fathers wear their own suits in a similar colour. They probably have some nice, well-fitting suits that are much nicer than anything from a rental shop. They don't really need to match exactly, and you can save your money for the best man and ushers' suits. Or bring the whole mismatched bridesmaids dress trend to the groom's side and have them all wear their own suits (if they all have a navy or grey suit, for example). I've seen a lot of wedding photos where the men are mismatched and it looks great when done right.

I agree that I don't think it's essential all men wear exactly the same suit. And that fob and fog might have their own suits that are nice. One thing that hadn't been said (I don't think) is I have no idea whTsoever how much suits cost to buy but if it's not much different in price and they are happy to pay towards it then at least they would get to keep a suit that didn't cost them the price of a suit if that makes sense.

explore your options and see what works best for you and your menfolk.

We are only paying for my finance's and our Best Man. My dad has already offered to pay for his own (he said he'd want a nice new suit anyway) and FIL has said he doesn't want to match...okay LOL.

The main reason we aren't paying for Ushers though is because my other half was Usher for one of our Ushers before and we bought my OH's suit so it only felt fair that he returned the favour. And if we wasn't buying for him didn't feel right to buy suits for the other Ushers. We did make this clear when we asked them though so they were aware before they agreed.

But when my OH was usher previously (to said Usher) they asked us then just dropped in months later that they had picked the suit and could we go on and order OH’s. We didn’t mind at all though as my OH was really pleased to be asked and they have been good friends for years. And obviously OH got to keep the suit and has worn it since. They did buy shoes, belts and ties though and we will follow this rule too!

The only thing i'd say though is that I think if they are buying their own suits it seems fairer to buy rather than hire. At least they have something to show for it afterwards? Seems more like a fair exchange rather than just contributing to a wedding suit hire cost. But that is just MO!

Something I forgot to mention - I think my OH is paying to rent a two piece suit and asking them to buy a waistcoat that they can keep. He is in charge of the suits so I don't know what it costs. But that might be another option, depending on what kind of suit you're looking for. Of course, if you want morning suits, all this is moot.

Im not sure on this... I guess it depend on lots of thing really, as a groomsman id be upset if I was paying and bridesmaids wernt for example

but I do also find that suits are more expensive, I can get the whole bridesmaids outfit for the price of one suit jacket ?

if I had been asked to go in... well, I have a thing against renting clothes, if im paying money im damn well keeping it so if it was me I wouldnt pay to rent full stop, however if it was to own I would consider it based on price and if I could afford it

other options:

do they not own suits already they can wear?

or could you not get cheeper suits?

How set are you on them all wearing the same suit?

My OH was best man a couple of years ago and he (and the other best men, there were 3 of them) was asked to wear his own suit. They were all different shades, nothing matched and it still looked great. I know someone's already suggested this for the fathers and this would

Personally I am of the opinion with all this sort of stuff (bridesmaids etc) that if you specific a certain item you want them to wear, you should pay. But if you are happy for them to sort themselves out, then I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all and it would look just as good.

This is a good point... I've been a bridesmaid before and have been asked to pay when I knew that the groomsmen were having suits bought for them. It all worked out in the end but when I initially found out I was a little bit put out. Just something to consider.

I think to some extent it depends on what you're asking other attendants to pay for, e.g. Bridesmaids, MOH, flower girls. We spent a lot on the bridesmaids, over £300 each, so I couldn't have asked the boys to contribute towards their suit rental, which was £90! But if the BMs etc. are, for example, paying half towards their dresses then it's less awkward asking the guys to make a contribution.

We can't afford groomsman outfits and father of the bride/groom either, we have bought the ties and cufflinks etc but asked could they get their own suit. Most of them didn't own a suit and so would need one for the wedding anyway. Only one groomsman did need a suit and his was a navy/blue so we stuck to that theme and said can everyone wear like a navy/blue suit whatever style that want just as long as it that colour. The colour very on trend and easy to pick up even in Primark for like £30 a suit. As I said they would be buying a suit anyway for the wedding. We did buy the best man's suit though because we wanted him to look extra special and have specific look so only fair. I bought my bridesmaid dresses but they cost £30 in comparison to a suit which can cost a lot more. I don't think asking for half is to bad, they meant to be your friends and family surely they don't mind helping you out when you don't have the money if they have it themselves.

This kind of thing definitely depends on the relationship you have with the person.

& also- have they been told when they were asked to be part of the bridal party that they wouldn't have to pay? You might get a couple of people drop out because they can't afford to pay for their suit along with other things, so this may be something that you have to be prepared for.

I am doing something similar with my BM & OH's best man- thankfully we only have the two to think about.

Both are getting £50 towards their outfits, and we won't go for anything expensive- my BM can choose her own dress, as long as it's light blue. OH's best man is a little different, as we would like matching/similar suits.

We asked our ushers if they were happy contributing towards their suits but they got to keep them. Are they having tails? If not then you might be better checking the high street (bizarrely BHS is great for reasonable suits which are great quality and a good price). I think there is one thing to ask to pay to keep the suit and another to ask to pay when hiring.

I think the main thing here is to not put yourself under money stresses and just pay what you can realistically afford, but keeping it fair.

I personally think what your H2B decides to do is his decision and likewise with yourself.

My H2B I think is paying £50 towards his BM and ushers x 4 for their suits, each.

I actually haven't worked out what I want to do, but I know I wont be paying for them all and my bridesmaids fully understand and respect this. Some of my girlfriends have even said they will just pay for a bridesmaid dress, just so they can join in :-) if you all decide on what dresses you want, you can all come to an agreement on who pays what amount - win / win.

At the end of the day its your wedding and your money and no one should expect to have a free suit or dress.

We've got our suits from M&S ( just navy three piece). We contributed £100 to each for the boys and they covered the rest. Luckily they all ordered them on weekends when M&S had offers on so they all get a suit to keep for around £40 each. My OH discussed it with them all beforehand, and this is what they were all happy with.

We've paid for the bridesmaid dresses, they were significantly cheaper than the suits though, and my bridesmaids are forking out for other things like a girlie weekend separate from the hen do, so I think it'll all work out fairly

x

My OH is only having 1 best man and no ushers. I originally wanted my dad in the matching suit but he didn't mind either way and showed me a suit he already had which i think will work well with the colour scheme. Considering he is more than happy to wear that suit i have changed my mind and now won't be getting him a matching one. I don't think father of bride or groom necessarily need to be in the matching suits so you could save money here. I have just told my dad we will get him a tie to match or look similar to the best mans.

You could consider whether the fathers could wear their own suits or let everyone wear their own suits and supply the matching ties/accessories? Or you could give that option as well as the option to pay half. if they are close friends they might just see contributing to suits as a kind of wedding gift to you.

Thanks for the replies ladies! I can totally see where you are coming from saying you would feel happier contributing if they say were getting to keep the suit.

I'll have a look at the possibility of buying the suits rather than hiring