Bride 1, Bridesmaid - 0 of them.

I did!

In my case it was because we were having a small wedding and wanted to keep it simple. Originally I was going to have a friend help me get ready, but in the end, Covid put paid to that, so I got ready on my own. And it was fine.

However, it would be worth spending some time thinking about why you allow your friendships to 'fade'. Bridesmaids aren't important, but good friends are. It can be tempting to make your OH your 'best friend' and not put any effort into building other friendships, but over the long term it is a really good idea to have a small group of friends. They don't necessarily have to be your age, but people that you love, trust and like being with. So as you have a new start in a new location, maybe spend some time thinking about friendships and what you can do to build some really good ones for your future x

We are not having any wedding party roles so my lack of MOH/bridesmaids isn't really noticeable. Is your OH thinking about having a best man?

I'm not having bridesmaids. I don't really have a super close best friend. Also, I'm not very girly so not into all that stuff- when I see hen parties out in town I'm like ugh! It's just not me. I'm also an older bride so less bothered too.

View quoted message Hi, thanks for your reply. I unfortunately suffer with a lot of trauma around abandonment. But a lot of it is just because I get used by a lot of my friends and when I finally stand up for myself the friendship ends. I do try and make friends but I'm always the more edge of the circle friend not inner circle friend if that makes sense. X

View quoted message Hi, yeah he has two potential best man friends to pick from plus a couple of guys to be groomsmen. But we talked about it last night and he agreed to keep his Grooms party small for me.

Hi


I am in a massively similar position. Whilst ive got a large circle of "outer circle" friends, I dont really have anyone I'm close to to ask to be bridesmaids.
I wish I'd had the confidence to not have any bridesmaids. It was just that immediately after I got engaged, lots of people were asking me "whos going to be your bridesmaids" and it was really embarassing to have to explain to all those people that i wasnt going to have any.
People seem to jump to their own conclusions about why people dont have any friends too when really it can arise out of no fault of your own. I was bullied at school which affected my self confidence for a really long time and whilst i got my confidence as an adult most people have their friendship groups by then.
Because I didnt want to have to keep answering to people as to why I didnt have any bridesmaids which I found was making my insecurities worse, I ended up asking my sister (who I dont get along with) to be a bridesmaid and a fairly recent friend (who I suspect is slightly on the autistic spectrum) to be my MOH. Unfortunately theyve both been quite difficult about a lot of aspects (e.g. coming to try on dresses) so if you do decide to have a bridal party, just bear in mind that you probably wont get any assistance/co-operation from them at all as theyre not exactly close-close with you.
There are services (e.g. the Bridal Party Boutique) which rent out a bridesmaid for the day but i think I looked into this and it was quite expensive! And might be difficult to get them to come to try on dresses etc.

If you're planning to have a hen do, I would definitely suggest planning the bulk of that yourself as my MOH ruined mine.I met up with her once over bottomless brunch to give her a hen invitation list (and their contact numbers to set up a Whatsapp group) and gave her some initial ideas but left the actual planning to her. Big mistake. She made it really unaffordable for everyone and was really rigid and unflexible on her initial ideas, not taking anyone elses suggestions on board which led to fallouts and several people dropping out. Ive now had to pay for my own share of the hen which i hadnt accounted for in my wedding budget.
If I was to do things again, as well as providing my MOH with the guest list & contact numbers for the hen Whatsapp group, I'd do some more research and plan some hen activities/accommodation on GoHen (which lets your guests pay in instalments) and then calculate the price per person (including my share of the hen) to make sure its affordable for everyone whilst having my share covered. Then I'd probably even draft the initial message that she would send to the others saying what's been planned for the hen to make it seem like she's the one who's planned it.
Then all she would have had to do is just set up the Whatsapp group with the numbers i gave her, send the message i'd drafted, confirm the dates are ok with people, confirm numbers and collect the money from people.

I would also say don't feel too constrained into having to pick women for your bridal party. Whilst I'm having my sister and one female friend, I'm also having a male friend be my "bridesman". If you have guys that you're close to either as friends or as part of yours or your fiance's family you can always include them!

View quoted message Thanks Alice, you ate right. I decided to ask my probably only friend who is male (he lives on the other side of the country now) to be my "Man of Honour". The great thing is he can be quite a camp gay and even does drag shows and he is a Barber so at least I know my hair and make up will look amazing, and he will be there to make sure nothing falls out of place. X

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