Bridesmaid advice

I have 3 adult bridesmaids. Personally I chose to pay for the dress, hair and make up and the hotel the night before the wedding because they are doing me the favour.


I bought dresses off the high street during a sale (oasis) so only paid £18 each. I’m not paying for shoes as I’m happy with them wearing any nude heel as the dress is a maxi.
Re hair and make up - you don’t have to pay but recognise they may wish to do their own hair and makeup instead of paying out of pocket ... would you be happy with that?
Hotel- if they live locally to your venue would you be happy with them coming from home and not getting ready with you? If yes, don’t pay.
Weddings are expensive but being a guest can be too- especially as a bridesmaid. Personally I’d say pay for the things that matter to you especially if your bridesmaids can’t afford to and leave the rest to them. Good luck x

You say you feel you 'should' have bridesmaids - is this because you feel there is an expectation from others that you will, or because you think you'll regret it if you don't? If you're having bridesmaids for any other reason than that you really want them, then don't! There are other ways to involve close friends in your wedding (usher, witness, doing a reading etc)

If you want bridesmaids, then you could consider asking them just to wear a dress they like instead of picking a 'bridesmaids' dress for them. One of my friends did this with her bridesmaids - she gave them a colour palette and they were allowed to pick any dress they liked as long as it was a maxi and in that colour palette. They paid for the dresses because they got to pick what they liked and would wear them again.

You could also look at simplifying flowers for the bridesmaids - either just one stem, or buying a bunch of supermarket flowers. If you're happy for them to wear their own shoes and do their own hair & makeup, then you don't need to pay for that - but you will have to accept them picking whatever they like.

If you want them all to wear matching dresses, then I suggest either looking second-hand or high street. Or online.

Totally agree, I think the bride / couple should at the very least be paying for the dresses, and you can find some great deals out there! I got mine from Little Mistress and they happened to go down to £35 each in the sale!

I had budgeted more for their dresses, so sent them the full budget amount and said the rest was up to them in terms of using it for shoes / hair / make up etc. I'm not fussed about their shoes as the dresses are maxi length and want them to be comfy, and same with hair and make up, they are happy to pay to have it done but if they would rather do their own that's fine by me as I'm not asking them to have a fixed look.

Luckily two didn't need accommodation and the person who does is my sister which we are paying for as we are paying for immediate family hotel rooms.

Ultimately - your bridesmaids should be so excited to be part of it as long as you are flexible they won't mind paying for some smaller things - as said, it only becomes unfair when bridesmaids are forced to pay for a particular dress or told they have to have make up done and pay for it etc.

Best recs for affordable bridemaid dresses: Little Mistress, ASOS, Dorothy Perkins, and just check out online sales as we nearly got Oasis ones for £18!

My maid of honor(not having bridesmaids) is paying her own dress (and accomodation). We had a chat and she was OK with it. However I just gave her 2 colours I liked and all else was up to her to pick. I think its OK to have your bridesmaids pay their own but they should be allowed to choose the dress themselves then. Also if you don't want to pay for hair/ makeup for them that's fine I feel, as long as you are ok with them doing their own should they not want to pay for it.
I don't think it's OK to pick a dress and expect them to pay or to book them for hair/ makeup and not pay it for them. If they pay then it should be their choice to decide.
I pay for moh hair as I would like her to have it up and want to get ready together, I also got her shoes as a thank you gift for being there for me. She is doing her on make up. She send me dresses she liked and within her budget and she feels like she would wear again and we picked one together. Her dress(long aubergine colour) was only 40 pounds and she was happy to spent that and loves it. I don't feel like you have to pay all. After all these are close friends who hopefully understand your financial constrains. But you need to accept that you won't have the final say on style then or they might not get hair/makeup done, as it's only fair if they get to pay for what they like/want.Paying for something (whether it's the dress, or hair/ makeup.....) is a nice gesture though.In the end compromise is key.

Hi!
I’m having two bridesmaids, their dresses were from Facebook selling group, shoes £9 each from ASOS, and I’ll be doing their hair and they’ll do their own makeup. I’m a lash tech so I have an advantage for their lashes but other than that, no ‘gifts’ or ‘boxes’ or robes etc. I’ve explained this to them, they’re both married so know the costs involved with those bits.
I’m sure they’ll understand - some people prefer doing their own hair and makeup anyway! X