Bridesmaid advise. I’m terrible at confrontation!

So this kind of thing has been touched on in previous discussions but I’m seeking some advise on my current situation. Even if people want to play devils advocate, I don’t mind. I just don’t know what to do.


One of my bridesmaids has been my best friend since we were 7, and when I got engaged she was so excited to be a bridesmaid and would constantly send me wedding related stuff, she made Pinterest boards and was really enthusiastic which was great.
However, ever since my fiancé and I have started planning our actual wedding, she seems to have completely lost interest. She barely responds in any of the bridesmaid/hen party group chats, she’s missed both bridesmaid dress shopping appointments, etc.
As many of you will know, some dress shops need A LOT of notice when ordering dresses. As we want all our BMs to be comfortable, they’re all choosing whatever dress they want as long as they’re all in the same colour. Therefore we really rely on them all being in attendance for at least one appointment. However, this BM is making no effort. Granted, she has moved quite far away recently and it is difficult for her to attend, so I even offered to travel to hers and go to one of the shops (which is a chain company) near her. But she ignored my message, so I’m worried I won’t be able to order her dress in time. I have raised this concern but I seem to be getting nothing back from her.
Also, the venue we’re getting married in doesn’t have accommodation. So guests are required to arrange somewhere to stay nearby. For our bridesmaids, we are putting money towards their accommodation and have helped them arrange suitable places to stay depending on wether or not they have families etc. I’ve offered now on multiple occasions to help this BM find somewhere to stay and she just keeps saying “don’t worry”. I’ve also let her know that accommodation in the area is now really sparse as many of our guests are booked up, there’s only 1 or 2 more places left nearby, but again I keep being told not to worry and that she’ll “figure something out”.
She also hasn’t paid her share of the hen party money. This has been organised for over a year and the final balance was due today. I sent two messages about this now but had no response.
I’m not a very confrontational person, and actually over the past couple of years we have slightly grown apart and I feel that I don’t want to outright ask her if she still wants to be a bridesmaid, or ask her why she’s being distant, because I think to her she feels she isn’t being like that at all. Any help or advise, or even some shared experiences would be great.