Bridesmaid culottes? (for kids!)

I don't think it is too much for her to wear it for a few hours. Is hard, but you need to put your foot down as is your day and if you can't find anything that you like then she needs to compromise, she is a child so should not rule the roost so to speak. What is her issue with earing a skirt dress? Maybe talk to her and explain you want her to wear it and see why she doesn't want to. The other option is looking at a seamstress ability to make a skirt into culottes but personally I think it would look odd if the others are in dresses

Does she actually want to be bridesmaid? I would actually check with her personally, as she may not feel comfortable doing this at all. I was forced to be a bridesmaid at that age, and I'm sure the bride regretted it as I look so uncomfortable in all the photos that I really spoil them. (And I refused to speak to the bridal couple for months after because I so resented them!!)

Thanks ladies. I don’t want to be a brideszilla but I do think kids should do what they are told (and it isn’t like she wants to wear a suit, which I’d be totally cool with) - but I don’t want grumpy faces in all the photos so don’t want to force her!


She certainly seemed very keen to be a BM when I asked her but she may have been swept up by her big sister who has been asking if she can be my bridesmaid for long before I even met FH!
I guess I just wanted to know if I’m being unreasonable in saying - “if you want to be a bridesmaid then you wear what I tell you” (or if there was some middle ground like culottes)…. Just when we thought things were going smoothly!

View quoted message Hi!!!
There must be a middle ground here, not all girls want to wear frills and sparkles, my daughter is 11 and would never wear a dress, and I’d be quick to correct anyone that expected her to to be included, and yes, I would say that’s unreasonable!! My son gets married soon and we’ll look at trouser suits, maybe jumpsuits ect for her to wear at the Wedding, ( brides get married in these!!) places like warehouse & coast, H &M do all sorts of lovely styles! (My girl is 5ft 7 tho so fits ladies!!)…. Could you speak to your niece, maybe her parents, see what she’s comfortable in… get her to find 2 or 3 options, so you have an idea maybe? It’s difficult, and there may have to be compromise, but there must be something….. you say not a suit, why not, maybe that could be an option, and would look cool!!! Navy blue trousers with a nice top or shirt that matches the dresses maybe?? I really hope it works out for you all, and a lovely outfit is found that everyone is happy with…Happy shopping and good luck xx

View quoted message Thank you! I’m trying to find a middle ground - she doesn’t want to wear a suit but also refuses to wear a skirt… I just don’t know how odd it will look if 2 BMs match but the 3rd doesn’t but she’s my niece and I do want her in the wedding so need to find a compromise. Wedding culottes do not appear to be a thing though…

View quoted message Ohh you’ve got your work cut out here then…… does it have to “match” the dresses…. What about a contrast?? Is there a 3rd colour in your scheme?? White/blue & grey for example….. could she wear the 3rd colour???


If it’s a no to skirt or suit then a jumpsuit?? (Next/new look/Matalan could have something ) ….. with something to match the others (shoes/hair/flowers!) keep looking 😉

I would give her the options of 1) dress like the other bridesmaids 2) smart trousers and shirt/blouse (similar to what any of the groomsmen might wear or 3) she just comes as a guest in whatever she wants.

I don't agree with forcing kids into clothes they are not comfortable wearing, but neither do they get to dictate to the bride what her wedding party looks like. As an adult bridesmaid, you have a choice of wearing the dress or dropping out of the bridal party. It's time she learned that we don't always get what we want in this life.

View quoted message Thanks for the replies. Luckily she’s now announced that a long skirt is acceptable! But I totally agree with your options - when my sister in law told me her stance, did feel like I had to go along with her demands or else… I thought the stress in wedding planning would be external not family but how wrong I was!!

View quoted message

"I thought the stress in wedding planning would be external not family"

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

The BIGGEST stresses come from family & friends!

Seriously, the entire world seems to think it has a right to an opinion on your wedding. To preserve your sanity, I advise not getting into debate about anything - discuss with your OH what you want the wedding to look like, and then when people come out with 'but you must' or 'but you can't', just say 'we've already decided'. It's the only way to stay sane. Oh, and if anyone tries the 'we won't come to your wedding unless...' just respond with 'we're sorry you don't feel able to come'. (Very few ever make good on the threat!)