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Laura
Newbie Bride July 2022 Bristol

Bridesmaid dilemma

Laura, 5 January 2021 at 16:24 Posted on Wedding Planning 0 6
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Hey everyone! I just got engaged on Christmas Day and am already starting to plan. I've never wanted any bridesmaid but my other halfs mum said it would be nice to his sister as bridesmaids. I know it's his day as well but I don't want bridesmaids at all. Am I being harse ?

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Latest activity by ExpensivePinkFlowers63608, 13 January 2021 at 08:39
  • ExpensivePinkFlowers63608
    Savvy Bride April 2021 Somerset
    ExpensivePinkFlowers63608 ·
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    I'm not having bridesmaids but I don't have any sisters and neither does my fiance. However, my brother is also engaged and getting married in October and I have NO role in his wedding whatsoever (he has a role in mine!) and it did upset me (especially as she's involving her brothers!). So, my advice is it's ok to not have bridesmaids, but it would be nice to offer your future sister-in-law some sort of role.

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  • N
    Newbie Bride May 2022 Somerset
    Nathalie ·
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    I’m not having “bridesmaids” either - I’m having bridesmen 😁😁 my two male best friends and brother...however, similar situation in that my OH has a sister, and we wanted to include her and give her a role too. I considered asking her to do a speech but in the end settled on asking her to be part of the “bridal party” (we can come to speeches further down the line - personally I’d rather not have any!).


    If you’re against bridesmaids then definitely don’t have them - yes it’s his day too, but there’ll be expectations with bridesmaids and it’ll be you who has to shoulder all of that! If you want to include them and give them special roles (not sure how many sisters there are) could you think about asking them to do readings, announcing you in, MCing, speeches? There’s definitely ways you can get them involved if you want, without having to go the whole bridesmaid hog Smiley smile
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  • R
    Rockstar Bride July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Not harsh at all. If you don't want bridesmaids, you shouldn't be obliged to change your mind just to please MIL. (And his sister might not even want to be a bridesmaid - it could just be his mum thinking it would be nice).

    I'd suggest talking to your fiance about finding another role for his sister - perhaps being an usher, doing a reading etc.

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  • S
    Newbie Bride August 2021
    SunnyOrangeHair84394 ·
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    Giving someone a reading to do is a brilliant idea. It's actually far more involved than being a bridesmaid.

    Don't have to fork out for a dress either!

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  • C
    Newbie Bride August 2023 Florida
    Carol ·
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    I feel like his sister doesn't want to be a bridesmaid in your wedding, only his mom wants it. But it's your wedding, the most precious time of your life, do what you want dear.

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  • Laura
    Newbie Bride July 2022 Bristol
    Laura ·
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    Stress! Yesterday we picked our date and secured our venue. I was so excited! OH rang the MIL to be be and she replied 'oh right' (she's a glass half empty kind of woman) she then interrupted and said so is Laura asking SIL to be bridesmaid...my OH half knowing my answer already turned round to me and said 'are you' so I had to say I didn't want any bridesmaids. I could hear MIL 'oh right well I thought you would have she's your sister' my OH said 'its not my choice' I was fuming!! I said to my OH you are choosing who you want as best man that's not my decision so me choosing not to have bridesmaids is my decision. I then went on to say I cannot deal with this mums negativity until our wedding. I'll be a mess. Needless to say it ended up in an argument.. so for the long rant I needed to vent
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