Bridesmaid dilemma

Difficult one. The problem with asking people like this is that if she and your future husband brother dont stay together in the long term you end up with photos of someone in your main wedding party who is virtually a stranger and you may never see again. I would just say sorry but you have decided j6st to have family members or friends you have known for a long time unless she falls into tge latter category.

View quoted message Thank you so much Alison for you reply. It's so difficult to judge isn't it. I think I will have to ask her if she wouldn't mind but I would still be including her in like the girls nights and little things which are still for the wedding just without the role. She is a very understanding person so hopefully she won't be too upset or hurt by my decision. X

Can I ask why you asked her in the first place? Are you normally close or did you think you should ask her? How did she react to being asked? I'm just wondering if you asked out of obligation, she said yes out of obligation and both of you would be happy if you withdrew the offer.

View quoted message My further husbands brother basically said to my FH that he didn't want his girlfriend being left out I said to my FH that I don't really know her but he said that it would be wrong of me not to ask her. She seemed very unexcited about it and doesn't seem to be interested in anything I send to her

View quoted message Sounds like it was solely the brother's idea and she doesn't want to a bridesmaid so I think you are good to tell her she isn't required anymore. If she is understanding like you say then I think being honest and polite is the best way. As you aren't that close/don't know each other well, you think being a bridesmaid is not the best way for her to be involved in the wedding and she may be happier just being a normal guest without the responsibilities. But you will still invite her to your bridal shower (if you have one).

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You are very welcome. Hope it all goes well x