Hi
I need some advice/support please! I never thought I'd end up with a drama as I go through life drama free and in a very laid back manner, BUT..
I have three bridesmaids, my oldest friends who are both married and a single friend of 5 years who has become like my younger sister, I spend a lot of time with her but she is who my problem lies with.
There has been a few problems along the way - firstly 11 weeks after buying the dresses she tried to talk me into taking them back as she didn't like how it looked on her, despite saying nothing at the time. She also spent 25 minutes ranting on the phone about how she didn't want to spend money going to the hen weekend location as it "wasn't a good enough place to go" I've let these things slide as I've given her the benefit of the doubt as being young and not married herself she hasn't caught on to the fact it's not 100% about her. She has done nothing to help or support and the other two are fed up of her.
The problem has come this weekend. She telephoned me out shopping yesterday and was saying she didn't want to spend the money on going away anymore, she would still go but she wasn't happy about it. She has money trouble as she has changed employment (informed decision)I do understand this and have offered to help. She kept saying things like 'it's a lot of money to spend on stuff for your wedding, we have a night out I don't want to spend money going away as I can't afford it'. I explained it's costing a lot less that V-festival which was her idea and that it's not going to be as expensive as we had budgeted from the onset. At the time I said I felt she has brought this up too late as we have a weekend away planned, just the 5 of us and as she committed it's been costed with her involved and her paying her share It was a horrible phone call that ended with an awkward goodbye. I also raised the other two occasions as I said this was the third time she had questioned my decision making too late.
This morning she text me to say she is not coming at all. I am £80 out of pocket and I feel I should refund her this money but then I'm £140 out of pocket. We have spoken tonight and it's very acrimonious. I have said I understand her money worries but she committed to it and it's not fair on the rest of us to pull out now. I apologised for bringing up the other things late in the day but explained I didn't before as I didn't want conflict and individually they hadn't been that bad but added up to a not good situation. She won't budge on anything, thinks she has done nothing wrong and that I'm being unfair on her.
I've had a good cry and now don't know what to do. She has offered not to be a bridesmaid and a big part of me thinks that's a bit much! but another part of me is hurt by her attitude and doesn;t really want her involved! I have much better friends in my life right now and I can't stand the idea of her being involved.
Any tips would be appreciated, thanks for listening!
Lily
