bridesmaid dresses who pays?

Hi! Welcome! Everyone is different when it comes to who pays for the bridesmaid dresses, I am paying for mine which gives me the final say, I think if you ask them to pay for their own its not unreasonable as you can explain your on a tight budget. As they are paying they might want more of a say. As for money saving tips, I am quite cheeky with this as I got discount on my wedding dress, accessories.........I say ask and most of the time you will get! Ebay, etsy and amazon are good for bits and pieces for the wedding. How that helps xx

A lot of people do ask their BMs and groomsmen to pay for their outfits. Personally I don't like it. I'm from the school of if you can't afford to pay for their outfits, you can't afford that kind of wedding. Likewise, I don't like asking guests to pay for their own food etc.

I did go to a wedding where they had 7 BMs and 7 groomsmen and the "orders" for the outfits were strict - in fact they were ordered and we just paid which at 3 full sets of mens suits ran to a lot of money.

If you are asking people to pay, then you have to let them have some freedom of choice imho.

I am not comfortable with asking BMs to pay for their dresses. If you can't afford it, why should they pay? How do you know they can afford it? Even if they could afford it, why should they pay just because you are unable to/choose not to?

I appreciate some say that guests would buy a new outfit for a wedding, but that's just an assumption, and doesn't mean they would. Plus, a bridesmaid-ey dress is unlikely to be worn again.

I had 4 bms and was fortunate enough to be in a position where I could pay for them. If I hadn't, I would have maybe just had my sister as a BM.

I'd have rather have cut back in other areas and paid for BM dresses? Is that an option? I also got high street dresses, and shopped around, rather than splashing out on Dessy etc which I thought were far too expensive.

I'm paying for my bridesmaid dresses, but that's because a, I only have 2 bridesmaids and b, I wanted a specific dress and colour.

I think if you are open and honest with your bridesmaids, something like, 'look, I want you as my bridesmaid, but I just can't afford the outfit. You can have any dress you want, the colour scheme is x, would you still be up for being my bridesmaid?' then that's not too bad I guess.

Really, like the others have said though, I wouldn't have liked to say that to my bridesmaids. And I know that one of my bridesmaids would've had to pull out if I had as there's no way she could've paid for the dress and other bits. I wanted 4, but I chose just 2 in the end because I could only afford 2. Don't forget, it's not just the dresses, there's gifts, accessories, hair and make-up too. I asked my bridesmaids if they would buy their own shoes, but that I would give them £25 each towards accessories and I am paying for their hair and make-up.

x

When I was BM for my SIL she gave us £50 each and then said if we go over that then we pay any extra, it turned out I just had to get accessories and shoe! Managed to get a gorgeous maxi dress from next £40 and a cardi from tesco £10. The best thing is I can wear my dress again on my hols!

We, however, are paying for ours. They do keep offering to pay for stuff!

I'm also of the opinion that you should pay for the dress if you ask someone to be a bridesmaid and, if you ask them to pay, they should get to choose the dress.

When I got married the first time, I paid for the dresses and alterations, all accessories, hairdresser and flowers. I had intended to pay for the shoes as well but things were getting a bit tight so I asked them if they'd mind paying for their own shoes and they could choose whatever they liked as long as they fit the colour scheme. They were happy with that. I had a make-up artist for me but told them if they wanted their make-up doing by her they would have to pay for it themselves. My sister did, my niece and my cousin didn't.

This time my only bridesmaid will be my soon-to-be-step-daughter, who is 11, so I'll be paying for everything. I am, however, going to let her choose what she wants as long as it's in budget and in the colour I want.

I'm paying for ours, I wouldn't be comfortable asking them to pay, the dresses are £30 each, I let them choose from a few within budget so they did get a say.

Some people do make bridesmaids pay for their dresses. I personally don't like the idea. I think if you want your closest friends/family to have a special role in the day, you can't expect them to pay for the privilege. I don't think 'we can't afford much' is a good excuse to make people pay for things you should really be paying for, as you can organise a wedding on pretty much any budget if you plan carefully and prioritise.

You can make it cheaper by cutting the number of BMs down, or look at cheaper dress options - you can get some great dresses on the high street for very reasonable prices so start looking early. Shops like H&M, New Look etc often have nice ones for reasonable prices, particularly at the moment as it's maxi dress season.

There's no reason why all the groomsmen need the same suit - you could always let them wear suits they have and provide ties in colours to match your theme and just get a suit for the groom?

There's a ton of tips on here to keep the whole day cheaper but you need to start working out what your budget is, what your priorities are and what you can cut out and then focus from there. Ebay is great for cheaper or second hand wedding stuff but don't start buying until you're sure you need it.

I think if you have already asked them, then you need to pay. The only point where you could ask them to pay is when you ask them to be a bridesmaid really. That way, they can turn you down if they don't want to pay. But once they have said yes (on the assumption you are supplying the dress) then really it's difficult to go back.

The groomsmen don't need suit hire, these days it's quite cool for them to wear their own suits. Of course, they might choose to buy a new suit... but that's not your problem!

For me personally, I paid for my Bridesmaids dresses because I wanted them to be my Bridesmaid.

My bridesmaids are paying for and choosing their own dresses. I've asked them to wear long and black and the rest is up to them. I have 7 bridesmaids and i am on a budget as we don't have the luxury of parents so are funding the entire day ourselves. We have saved hard and made sacrifices to have this day and think it's a bit mean to suggest that if you can't afford dresses you shouldn't be having that kind of wedding! Bridesmaids are hardly an extravagance, they are your best friends and sisters who want to be part of your day. As long as my girls are standing by my side I could care less what they are wearing.

I'm paying for my BM dresses, and I've bought them high street. This has meant that I can afford to buy all 5 (+1 flower girl) dresses. I said to them my colour scheme, and I found a range of 5 and they all picked the one that they wanted. They ranged from £15 to £45 (I caught a sale!)

My bms all assumed they would be paying for their dresses and were pleasantly surprised when the only thing I requested was they sorted their own underwear and shoes! (I have requested nude shoes, but there are lots of them around, and actually most of my bms were grateful as they already had a perfect pair!

I think you need to talk to your bms, and ask them what they are expecting to pay. Your OH needs to talk to your groomsmen, but if you don't mind them wearing different, then you probably don't have an issue.

Personally, I think if I am asking them to be there with me, then I should pay.

This. Plus I wanted them in the same dress and I didn't think it's my place to advise them what to wear if I'm not paying. The dresses cost £185 each which was a lot more than I was expecting to pay but they were perfect as my girls love them. I have, however, asked them to pay for any alterations. One of my bridesmaids lost some weight since buying the dress and obviously that isn't my fault. She was more than happy to pay, I guess everyone is different.

No ive not asked anyone officially my moh nos shes gonna be my moh but im very open to them helping to choose cause at the end of the day its them that have to wear it i want them to be cofortable with what here dressed in. im fairly set on the colour but i want something that they are gonna be able to wear again. something like this:

This! If I couldn't afford to pay for my BM dresses I personally wouldn't have had any.

I see no issue with bridesmaids paying for their own but you need to tell them that before you ask them really.

Im paying but it will be made clear to the girls that we can only afford £20-£30 dresses (there will be 5 of them). For the men we're letting them wear their own suits but providing a matching tie (under £5 on eBay). Again we can't afford suits but this way they all match :-)