bridesmaid guilt thing....

If she asks, maybe you can just say that you haven't decided yet... and see how it goes. If you're still close after her wedding then maybe you could have her as a BM and have your closest friend as CBM. If not then don't have her as a BM at all...

I woudlnt feel guilty about not reciprocating the MOH thing. Esp as you have moved apart & you have a good friend to do it. She might be busy with her baby also, so might get grateul to not have the extra stress of your wedding, travelling to where you live to help organise & having her baby in tow.

Are you thinking of having her as BM anyway? I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all.

I'm MOH for my sister and she's mine. My other BM is my best friend from school. We're both hopeless at keeping in touch, and probably only see each other 4 or 5 times a year, but she's still my best friend.

She, on the other hand, is only having her sister as BM and I'm not involved at all. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Simple answer would surely be to talk to her about it? I'm having my sisters as my BMs to avoid the hassle, and my younger sister has always said I would be hers (or now Matron of Honour because I'll be married and she thinks it sounds old and will bother me lol)

I would talk to her, if you have another friend who was always your obvious choice I'm sure she'd not be offended especially seeing as you've drifted apart a little and I'm sure she'd welcome not having the added pressure of having to lose the baby weight to fit into the dress!

I agree - don't commit her to being bridesmaid at the moment, let alone CBM.

I have 4 bridesmaids and TBH I don't expect 3 of the 4 to ask me to be bridesmaid in return - my cousin knows she has no choice and i'll just be there anyway! ?. (I knew the same when I chose her).

I would just talk to her about it tbh, since she is getting married herself and understands that there can be difficult decisions to be made so would hopefully be understanding.

Just for perspecftive both my BMs are gtting married this year too one (who is my sister) has asked me to be bm for her, which i was delighted aboutbut the other sat me down and explained that due to cost she was only having her sister as bridesmaid, much as i would have loved to be her bridesmaid I fully understand and respect her decision and have no hard feelings at all and will offer to help nearer the time if she needs some extra hands

See, just personally, I wouldn't expect anyone to ask me to be a bridesmaid once I'm married... I won't be a 'maid'. I think men have it even worse, my H2B was saying the other day that he hopes his best man won't feel pressured to have him as best man when his turn comes.

Bridesmaids/maids of honour/matrons of honour are supposed to support you on the day and possibly in the run up to the day... I'm sure your friend realises that with everything else in her life, she may not be the best placed to fulfil this role.

I think this reciprocal BM thing can get out of hand sometime, it goe sthe same way with wedding invites too!

For me I was planning on having just two BM's; my best friend and my sister-in-law but then my oldest friend (who I grew up with, we have always remained close despite sometimes not seeing each other for years sometimes) and I got back closer over her hen party and wedding last year (even though I wasn't her BM) so I asked her to be a BM too.

I think what I am trying to say is that I could have easily said "Well I wasn't her BM so I don't want her to be mine" but in my eyes she is still an important part of my life and I think the fact that we got closer after her wedding changed things....so maybe just see how you feel after her wedding?