Bridesmaid help

Please bare with me, I honestly don’t know what to do…


So my best friend, let’s call her H, is getting married next year and I honestly couldn’t be happier for her but she’s upsetting me and I don’t want to upset her but I’m not sure I should keep quiet either.
Bit of background, H and I have been best friends since we were 2 and we are now in our 30’s so she’s like a sister to me. Whenever we talked about weddings, kids the future etc we were always each other’s number 1. We would be each other’s MoH, godmothers to our kids etc. Then when she announced she had got engaged I cried I was so happy for her but she’s asked someone else to be her MoH, let’s call her N. Now H and N have had a very rocky relationship and H’s mum doesn’t like N. N is never invited to family gatherings, parties, the new year bash each year etc etc. So this came as quite a shock. I’m not going to lie, it really hurt me that she asked N instead of me but I thought it’s her wedding and as long as she’s happy so I am and I agreed to be a bridesmaid with two others.
Unfortunately things just keep getting worse… N has made H change her flowers, she has always wanted tulips and is now having roses as N told her it would be nicer. She has also persuaded her to change the bridesmaid dresses and her colour scheme! These are the only bits I know about because everything else N has managed to persuade H should be a secret from everyone except her mum and of course N.
The latest thing was the hen do…numerous times H and I have spoken about what our dream hen do would be. Today I’ve been told N is sorting it all herself and no one else is to be involved. I’m gutted, N is very much a party girl whereas H just isn’t. She doesn’t drink, she doesn’t stay up late, she would much rather have a nice afternoon tea or something crafty. I’m worried N is going to plan a weekend away drinking or similar which would just not suit H as she suggested a weekend in blackpool would be fun.
So here I am, feeling guilty because I feel hurt by the choices H has made. And I know it’s her wedding and she can do what she wants and honestly I just want her to have the most magical day. But I don’t like the way she is treating me, I don’t like that I’m being left out when we have talked about this for years and I don’t like that N is persuading her to change things H has dreamed about since she was little. She has really hurt me. I don’t want to upset her but I’m not sure I can stand by and watch her dream day not quite live up to her dreams. Please know that all this is just because I want her to have the best day ever and yes I was upset about not being MoH but I accept her decision, it’s everything else following that, that is making me question what I should do….
Please help and thank you xx