Hello, this is going to be really long so bare with and thank you for reading and any advice you give if you reach the end!x
I’m looking for some advice on a situation I’m really struggling with. I am getting married next year and I have 3 bridesmaids however I don’t know whether I am slowly regretting one of my choices.
The choice I’m regretting is my sister in law (to be). We used to be really close and talk most days about different things etc and have a catch up however, in April this year, myself and my partners brother (her partner) had a falling out and we haven’t really made up. He said some really nasty things toward me and some serious accusations were thrown around and I don’t think we will never really see eye to eye ever again for different reasons. This isn’t the first time either that he’s said things about me, usually he does it behind my back but this time it was to my face. This really upset me at the time and it did make me question our marriage because I don’t want to marry into a family, that would say certain things about me and don’t like me for no reason. I’m ok with that now and I have told my partner that I am done trying to make effort with his brother and from now on I will be civil but that’s as far as it goes. I am however, really anxious and doubtful as to how the wedding day will be as my partner has asked his brother to be his best man…. It’s just really stressing me out to the point where it’s made me re-think our top table layout etc.
I messaged my sister in law the day after the argument and apologised for the situation and said that I’d hoped it wouldn’t affect our friendship to which she responded that it wouldn’t as I know that she thinks the world of me and my partner. We haven’t spoken since then until 2 weeks ago when I saw her at a family dinner. Everything was fine and we got along like normal and towards the end of the meal I asked her if she had seen any bridesmaid dresses that she liked to which she responded “to be honest, I haven’t really looked and I don’t really want to think about that until I lose 3 stone”. We laughed about it and I said that I need to get the ball rolling soon as the suit place don’t want us to choose the suits until we have the bridesmaid dresses because they want to accurately colour match.
Going forward the more I think about it, I just feel that I’ve made a massive mistake. My bridesmaids haven’t helped me with hardly anything except my sister who is my maid of honour. We’ve done loads together and thinking about it, I don’t know why I asked anybody else to be bridesmaids in the first place because my sister is the only person who I really want there. I think it was because I was worried because I don’t really have many friends, not any close enough that I wanted to ask them to be bridesmaid and because you always see girls with loads of bridesmaids on social media and whatever else, I feel like I just asked because I felt I had to.
I know this may sound really silly but how do I go about this and address the situation without making a big fuss and potentially causing another argument. I’m just worried that I’ve made a massive mistake and I don’t want to have someone by my side as a bridesmaids who is now, not bothering with me at all.
Thank you for reading and any advice given.