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Beginner May 2025 Cheshire

Bridesmaid help

Danniella, 11 March, 2025 at 21:30

Posted on Planning 34

I have 5 bridesmaids (3 friends, my sister and my partners sister). My partners sister is young so wouldn’t expect her to be involved at all, but I’ve had barely any help from the other 4. I thought planning would be a bit more communal and they’d help with decision making, we’d have fun bridesmaid...




I have 5 bridesmaids (3 friends, my sister and my partners sister). My partners sister is young so wouldn’t expect her to be involved at all, but I’ve had barely any help from the other 4. I thought planning would be a bit more communal and they’d help with decision making, we’d have fun bridesmaid days leading up to the wedding but there’s been nothing! They’ve hardly asked how planning is going or offered any help. I know everyone has their own lives and things going on, but as I am now only 9 weeks away from the wedding the situation is starting to get to me. I’m trying to arrange a day to get them all together to try on dresses, discuss ceremony logistics etc but I’m struggling to even get a response, never mind them all in the same room. I just wondered if anyone had a similar situation or if I’m maybe expecting too much from them?

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34 replies

  • Novaaura
    Beginner April 2027 East Central London
    Novaaura ·
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    You’re definitely not expecting too much, it’s hard when you picture that supportive bridesmaid experience and it turns out more like coordinating a cracker barrel dinner menu with prices group chat where nobody replies. At this point, focusing on clear plans and lowering expectations a little might save you extra stress before the big day.

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  • Harriet
    Curious October 2025 Nottinghamshire
    Harriet ·
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    Oh, I feel for you so much! First, take a deep breath. You are absolutely not expecting too much by wanting a response about dress fittings, but it is also incredibly common for bridesmaids to be a bit disconnected from the planning.

    We got married about 7 months ago, and honestly, apart from my hen party, I never had my bridal party all together for planning. We just exchanged a few messages. I chose the dress colours, hair, and makeup, and because we are quite lowkey, it worked out fine but I completely understand your frustration!

    A few things to keep in mind that might give you some peace of mind:

    • They might fear overstepping: Sometimes bridesmaids stay quiet because they don't want to push their own opinions on your big day. They might think they are being respectful by giving you space.

    • They might not understand the role: Closer to my wedding, my Maid of Honour suggested something to the rest of the bridal party and it got completely ignored. She found it so frustrating and realised they didn't really understand what their role was supposed to be.

    Because you are 9 weeks out and need answers for dresses, I’d suggest ditching the group chat for a moment. Message them individually and say something like: "Hey! I know everyone is super busy, so instead of trying to get us all in one room, could you let me know if you are free on [Date A] or [Date B] to look at dresses? If neither work, let me know what day suits you best this month so we can get it sorted!"

    Ultimately, remember that it is you and your partner’s day, and you are the ones driving the ship. Try not to let it ruin your bond with them - they will likely show up for you in a big way when the actual day arrives! Xx

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