Bridesmaid Help! Decisions!

I’m in such a similar situation!


I suppose you can ask but make it absolutely clear that the person can say no if it’s too much to ask? The last thing you want is someone feeling stressed as that’s only going to stress you out more! I’ve got 9 I could ask and I’m struggling but you can maybe make a bride squad and just have the maid of honour walk down the aisle before you? I suppose if they walk in 2’s 6-7 wouldn’t be so bad?
Sorry I’m not much help as I’ve literally asked a fairly similar question 😅 if anything else comes to mind that is helpful I’ll be sure to message xx

There is no right or wrong in how many you should have. I personally would only have 2 adult BM's, I just think the more you have the stress levels of getting everyone to agree and the cost will spiral. You could ask your friend on Australia now, but let her know you respect it may be too much for her due to distance etc and let her think about it. in terms of your other friends, if you are not particularly close to one then I would not have any of them, just your friend as MOH and your other friend if she says yes. It is always hard when you have a big group of girl friends to pick and not upset certain people but you need to do what you feel is right, and if they are real friends they will understand your decision. good Luck

Having the one from Australia could cause logistical issues as she wouldn't be able to be fitted for a dress etc. What about if she did a reading or something instead?


I'd go with closest friends only and maybe limit to 2-4. Bridesmaids really add to your costs so I'd use that as an excuse to limit the number of them. Anyone who falls out with you over it isn't a real friend tbh.

View quoted message I’m close with all those I’m considering from different walks of and times in my life.
I don’t really know what to do 🙈😂
I think with my friend from Australia, logistically it may be difficult to arrange things - she is back for a few months each year anyway due to a work contract, but it’s still a bit awkward in comparison to those that live down the road!
I’ll just read replies with interest and muddle it over in my head a bit more! 😅 xx

View quoted message The problem is… they’re not all one big friend group, only 2 are from the same part of my life… which is why it’s so hard to whittle it down between them all.


My FH has decided on 4 including his best man but he’s got a far smaller circle of friends than I have anyway 🙈

View quoted message She has a work contract over here for a few months each year, so I think she’d be able to try things on if necessary beforehand, however I hadn’t considered a reading and that may just work!


Thank you!

View quoted message I’m sorry I’m not sure how to help you whittle it down. I guess I’m wondering why you think you need 4 bridesmaids?
If you don’t mind having more/less bridesmaids/groomsmen than each other then I guess you can have as many as you want/can afford to have 😊
My FH is only having 1 best man but I have 2 maid of honours and 2 bridesmaids 😊
Maybe a good idea could be to think about why you want each of them to be your bridesmaids and you may have stronger reasons for some than others and that could maybe help you chose between them? Could you think of roles to get all your friends involved in the wedding without having them all in the wedding? (E.g. do they have hobbies/skills that the could contribute to your wedding?)

If you're struggling to pick bridesmaids, why not just have the MOH and invite the other 7 as guests?

Or, if you really want all 7 involved, ask a few to be bridesmaids and think of other ways to include the rest - e.g. having one of them as a witness, one of them do a reading etc. Or ask them all to be bridesmaids but pick their own dresses (if you're not insisting on a specific dress, then you don't have to pay for it). This would simplify including the Australian friend, since she could just pick a dress she liked over there.

If the wedding is two years' away I would hold off on inviting though - If you wait a few months, you might find that by then, you have a clearer idea of who you want to be involved. Plus, so many times people invite bridesmaids early and then regret it when the relationship has changed. Obviously, this could happen at any point, but the longer between the invite and the wedding, the more chance there is of your friendship changing. And don't think it couldn't happen. In the two years before my wedding, my best friend since childhood got sucked into some super-weird conspiracy theory groups, and by the time our wedding came around, her behaviour was so irrational that we didn't even invite her as a guest. But if you'd asked me two years before our wedding, I'd have said 100% she would have been my MOH.

With how soon that doesnt matter, I aske ed my bridesmaids a day after I got engaged and our wedding isn't for 3 years.
As for who your picking make sure you reasonably close to them. You dont want a bridesmaid your not close with as that can cause problems throughout your day.

Anyway hope I helped as much as possible and congratulations

View quoted message Same 😂😂 Tbf I think of some of my friends getting married and I don’t feel bothered either way and I’m sure they would be happy whatever I choose (some even relieved!) at the end of the day everyone just wants to enjoy the day!! Once the ceremony is over the bridesmaids job is pretty much done 😅 if anything comes to mind I’ll be sure to send words of wisdom! X

I have two bridesmaids and one maid of honor. My brothers fiancé, and my FH older sister and my maid of honor is my FH younger sister haha, and I have 4 flowergirls, my FH nieces. No page boy. My FH has a best man, his brother in law, and 1 groomsman, my brother. He told me he would have had his dad as a groomsman, however we unfortunately lost him two year ago.
Numbers don't have to match. I'm not really close to my brothers partner due to them living away also, so I dont think it's too much pressure for your friend.
I know the tradition was the maid of honor was meant to "leave or get with" with the best man. However in our case, my maid of honor would leave with her brother in law. Haha tradition goes out the window with weddings now. Best wishes!!

Personally, I'd wait until next Christmas. That's still a whole 10 months until your wedding and you just never know between now and then who you might meet/what may happen. Gives you more thinking time :-)

Also my friend just got married I was a bridesmaid and there were 7 of us. We walked in pairs except the maid of honour who went alone before the bride came out.

Agree with leaving it till next Christmas when you might have a clearer idea of numbers. As others have also said relationships change. One of my bridesmaids pulled out two months before my wedding for health reasons. I accepted her reasons for pulling out but not her swearing at me when I didn’t immediately respond to her message. Strangely enough I was in bed at 1am on a Monday morning as I get up for work at 5.30am. We haven’t spoken since.

I'm in a very similar situation!! I did think about who did I really want to tell straight away when I got engaged and is there ways to incorporate my other friends in the day. I have one friend who I'm getting to do a poem and an other I may get to be a witness. So there is ways, if they still want to come round shops and stuff with you why not! It is very difficult but most friends understand! One of my sister's didn't feel comfortable being a bridesmaid so it may be worth thinking who would feel comfortable with what you choose for them to wear etc.
I have no idea who my maid of honour will be! As I have two really close friends who I just wouldn't want to choseI between do I might not have one! 'm not the most traditional so I've just told three in person, nothing fancy! You could tell your friend in Australia in a postcard or virtually?

Hope this helps!

View quoted message You could state a colour theme, and then if your buying the dresses give her a bit of money to get hers in Australia and maybe ask her to show you some ideas?

So...

I whittled it down to 5 people.

I asked my friend in Australia how she felt about it, whether it would be too much pressure, whether it would be a problem with her anxiety and she was extremely excited and said she'd come over for the weekend just to be there for me!

So I've settled in a maid of honour and 4 bridesmaids. I'm happy with my decision and they're all getting proposal boxes for Christmas