Bridesmaid in front or behind HELP!!

British Tradition is that they go behind. American Tradition is that they go first...maybe thats why the vicar said they had to go behind...if hes a traditionalist he may be funny about introducing americanisms into the church?!

xx

Hi,

Have a word with the vicar, because I know some are very strict on how they do things.

just talk to him about how you would like things, you never know he may surprise you, maybe he not been ask before, and assumes that's how you want it to be,

Some are more flexible than other.

Its a very nice idea to have the bridesmaids to go first,especially if you are feeling very nervous about going first, and eyes all on you. its very American, but love it.

Good luck ?

I don't know - you could be right. I have been to a wedding there before and it was ok, but its a new vicar this time. I will just have to see what happens, but i have to say i'm quite disapointed about it

x

be brave and ask

I want mine to go first, the bit of the music that has the bridal march kicks in about 30 seconds in!

Will have to check with vicar now though... (although same church last year had bms first...)

Well that sounds promising then, if its been done before. ?

Good luck

I want mine to go first too - i think it gives them some lime light too.

If they follow everyone is still looking at the bride and groom and then the bridesmaids end up just sneaking in to there seats

I've never heard of the Vicar having any preference how you walk down the aisle to be honest. I like the Bridemaids walking down first as this keeps the guests in suspense just a little longer! Also most Brides hand their flowers to the Bridemaids when they reach the aisle so it is easier if the Bridesmaids are already there & waiting.

The problem is when it was done before it was a different vicar, this is a new one. My friend got married in Sept and was desperate to have hers first and the vicar said no.

will have to ask and hope vicar says yes but cant see it if hes said no before

x

Mine are deffinatly going before me. It just seems to work better.

Goodluck and hope he lets you do it. If not call him a meanie and step on his foot.

Fingers and toes crossed for you both ?

I'm very traditional and mine went behind ?

I did at one point ask D what he thought and he said he wanted them behind as he wanted to see me properly and didn't care about them! ? I do think them first can obscure the bride unless the bride doesn't start walking down until they're at the bottom which can be a long introduction...

It was great walking down and just staring at OH. I'd not seen him for 2 days before hand so was dying to see him and he looked stunning! I beamed the whole way down ?

I have come across this a few times through the years, some priest/vicars are adamant that we stick to tradition, and can be very stubborn at times.

Its a real shame for the brides

I want my Girls to go first, its like a run up to your big entrance!!!

you go for it girl, if that's what you want ?

This is exactly my thinking! Plus if they go behind, will the bride not have to sort of scooch out of the way for them to get by?

Mine went first because I wanted them to be seen. Can't say it ever came up in conversation with the priest though. Don't ask, just do it. What is he going to do? Turn them around and send them back?

I'm with you on this one Barbie ? Your experience sounds like my dream entrance?

Very traditional. IMHO the bride should be the centre of attention and I thought traditionally the maids were there to carry the brides dress, hence being behind?

My friend had the same at her wedding (BMs behind), the vicar was also against maid's going first...although my friend never wanted this it did come up in conversation and he mentioned the Americanism too.

I think my bridesmaid will go first - I want her to be seen as otherwise she follows me , but everyone will be looking at me and not her. Also I don't think I will have anyone giving me away so if we go totally none traditional that will look better I think. I haven't asked my vicar - just assumed it's my wedding and I am paying them - so I should be able to do what I want! It should make no difference to the service so I see no reason why they should care one way or another.

This is a good point, just go for it. I definately want my maid going down before me, along with my flowergirl and pageboy, i want them to get some of the attention too and also create a bigger build up for me!

I want mine to go first. The entrance music is a few minutes long and I not only want to hear as much of it as possible but I want people to see my flowergirl, pageboys and bridesmaids in all their glory first and them get into their seats before i get down there.

Can't think of anything worse than having to have them squeeze past me over my train all squishy squashy, kind of ruins the entrance lol

There is a misconception of how the bridesmaids enter at American weddings. They do enter first,that it true, but everyone doesn't enter in one big bunch. The bridesmaids usually enter one at a time, each entering after the previous one reaches the front. When the bride enters, all eyes are on her, as at that point everyone is at the front, and that is when the music usually changes and everyone stands up. I found it so strange when I started doing weddings here and everyone enters as one big group, often behind the bride which makes it so difficult to photograph. When the bride and her father reach the the front, and are blocked by bridesmaids, that is an image which is impossible to capture to the blockage, which is unfortunate as it's usually a very sweet and emotive scene. It's always nice when it's just the father and bride left to walk in, nice for the bridesmaids to get to see the bride enter as well. I think in the end, if you want to do it a particular way, it shouldn't be questioned by the vicar or anyone else.

I definatly want mine to go first but i would like some time between them and me walking down the aisle!! I also have to walk down a staircase as part of my entrance so my hope is that while i'm doing that part everyone will be looking at the bridesmaids walking down. (This may be a good place to point out i have no co-ordination and i'm so clumsy i have no idea how i have survived this long so the thought of people staring at me while a walk down said staircase is unbearable)

Id love to have my bridesmaids walk down before me! I personally think it looks a little messy with them walking behind and would love them to have some attention and be noticed too! Also the song I like for entering has quite a long intro! lol x x

Something else for me to think about, wasn't something I'd considered before but now having my bridesmaids go first seems like a great idea ?

I hadn't considered this until I read this thread, but I think I will go for bridesmaids behind. It's going to come down to personal preference and what's practical at your location.

Reading these posts had made me visualise my entrance and i got all shivery and emotional!!!

I would like my BM's to go first - mainly because its a small room and i dont want there to be a scuffle getting to the right place at the front!! lol and as its a short aisle i will wait til theyre all standing at the front to make my entrance! oooh goosebumps - cant wait to see OH at the end of the aisle...x

I would prefer mine to go first, take the nerves off & its means everyone is looking at you for longer instead if quick glance at you then 'oh what colour are the bridesmaids?' but my minister is very traditional and says I must go first so thats how it is - i love my church

Morning,

I am sending the flower girl and my pageboys first followed by my bridemaids, then me.

My reason for this is, the flower girl and the page boys (my twins) will only be two and i don't want them crying as they see me walk away.

My Mum and Sister law to be, will be waiting at the front to catch the little ones and my bridemaid (my sister) is following them to make sure they make it down.

My H2B also wants to see the boys and if they follow me he won't be able to see them through my dress.

I really hope you get to do it the way you want, good luck with the vicar

Keli xxxxx

I'm probably going to have my bridesmaids go first for a few reasons:

1. Would be nice for them to have their own moment and be seen properly.

2. They will be ready and waiting to help me when I get down the aisle. No need for 'scooting' past my train to take the positions.

3. I want the entrance and the music to last a bit longer.

4. Having my bridesmaids go first ensures that I am walking down the aisle when the music properly gets going.

5. I want my big entrance on my own without people trying to peer behind me to see my bridesmaids! ?

I have quite a big bridal party and so my plan is:

Page boy and 2 flowergirls to walk down holding my Aunties Hand,

My brother and Uncle to then walk the bridesmaids down, one on each arm

When they have all reached the end of the church I am going to make my entrance on my Dad's arm. Otherwide, with that many people who are taller than me, no one will be able to even see me.

I am then going to ask my BM to make sure my dress is correct as I arrive at the altar.

I'm having mine if front.

My pageboys and my BM (their mum) will walk down with my MOH.

Then my daughter who is flowergirl will walk down (she really wants 'her' moment!) followed by me.