Bridesmaid is wanting same hair style!!

That is really out of order, sounds like she is the sort of person who wants to be the centre of attention and can't see that this day is actually all about you.

I would say to both of your bridesmaids together (sounds like you have more than one) that the sort of hairstyle I would like is...and say something like its in a similar them to your hair, but not exactly the same, re-assure them though that they will look gorg. If you do that then you are not focusing on just on her and addressing all of the bridesmaids.

Is she paying for her own hair out of interest, perhaps this is why she feels she has the right to have her hair anyway she wants?

Hard to say - if its a really intricate hair style that you have chosen, then maybe suggest she does something similiar but not identical. But if its a simple hair up (for example) in a sweep or a bun or something then thats fairly standard for wedding hairstyles, so its hard to say if she's doing it to be awkward or just because its a style she likes and suits her....

Are your BMs having tiaras similiar to yours as well or will your hair accessories make yours look different and more special anyhow?

Difficult one, but if you do want her to have something different then I guess its how you tell her that matters! Maybe find some pictures similiar to your style but 'different' and show her AND your MOH those if its an option they have similar hairstyles? You are obviously fond of her if she's your bridesmaid, so its not worth falling out about, but there may be a compromise you can find to keep you both happy....

Good luck!

Whilst I think the BM is being a little odd saying she is having the same style, I really wouldn't let it bother you. There is no way on earth that she is going to look like the bride anyway and I'm sure your hair accessories/tiara/veil (or whatever you're having) will be completely different to hers.

I went to a wedding a few years ago and there were 3 adults BMs who all had the exact same style hair as the bride. It made it look really rather classic and suited the style of the wedding perfectly.

Thanks for all your replies,

some of the replies were spot on she is self centered and does only think about herself, (this being why she isnt my maid of honour!)

I am only having one bridesmaid and a matron of honour,

She is paying for some of it but we are paying the most!

Shes coming over for dinner later tonight, so i will try and say tactfully what i think!

I am glad somebody else thinks its not right i thought i was just being fussy.

The hair style is up with lots of curls in the back, cant really explain might try and put a photo on to explain it a bit better.

Thanks again

I also agree with you Mrs Brewer 2B. I don't want to turn into a bridezilla but I wouldn't want my bridesmaids to have the same (or even too similar style to me) which is why when i asked them I kinda told them what I thought I wanted done & said I don't mind how you have yours just not like mine!!! Hopefully I won't have the same issues as you nearer the time!!

IMHO the whole point on your wedding day is to stand out, looking diferent from everyone in every detail...did she get the hint when you said to her last night?

I will always ask the bride before I meet the B/M's if she minds what they have. They are often at the trial run and it is handy to know and guide them into a different look .

sometimes they forget its not their day and i can usually get them to change their thinking by asking them what they would have when / if they get married.

9 times out of 10 its the same style they were wanting to have this time as a B/M. I tactfully suggest they save that for their own special day .

But the other option is to all have the same and as others have said it won't look quite the same as she will be in a differnt dress to you. also everyone has different hair and some look better than others. If you are all having the same hairdresser you could have a word in her ear.!

Its difficult if she is paying for it herself .

on another note ..I sacked my own sister as B/m because she had her hair cut so she wouldn't be able to have the hairstyle I wanted. she was also being unresonable abouty loads of other stuff and I said to my mum ' what if she lets me down on the day?' Its a long boring story ,but she was only 21 and youngest of 3 , completely spoiled ( no excuse , I know ) but when she was organising her own wedding and getting grief herself ( not from me though , i did contemplate being awkward), she did admit she had been a complete *** bridesmaid and was gutted that she had upset me.

Rambling again .......should not drink and hitch at same time......

Sharon.x

My bridesmaid had exactly the same style as me, but I had a tiara and a veil so it looked different.

I guess it depends on the accessories you are having in your hair if they will make it look different enough?

Hmm, I can understand why you're annoyed.

If I were you I would just sit her down and explain that, while you want her to look great, it is your special day and you want to look different to anyone else there. Hopefully she should get the message. If not, tell the hairdresser to do it differently anyway! ?

Sorry, reality check here: you are the bride. everyone will be looking at you. you will look fabulous. no-one will notice that she has the same hair as you. do NOT let it stress you out.

(if she is paying to have her hair done, i think it's only polite to let her choose what she wants - if you are paying, then i think it's fairer to have more of a say. i would never force my BM to have a style that was uncomfortable for her though, even if i was paying and wanted her to look a certain way. i understand that this isn't the situation here, but just wanted to give some other perspective)

I really should read what I have written before pressing the POST button.!

It sounds awful that i sacked her cos she had her haircut ...but it was the last straw after so many other things, and it was stressing me out.. It was a long time ago and everything is okay now, but I do think sometimes when we are in the wedding bubble the little irritations are so much bigger!

try not to let it get to you.. and remember her hairstyle is not gonna stop you marrying Him...the man of your dreams!

I once did hair for a bride who had a short bob style , but her one and only B/m had glorious long hair that i curled and put half of it up.

When I was blow drying the brides hair , she commented that the B/M had better hair than her...

I replied thats depends on your perspective ...... whose getting married the great guy and who has the better dress!

Sharon.x