Bridesmaid issues - there is always one!

If she looks bad in pictures it won't reflect on you. Honestly, it's not a battle worth fighting. You won't even care what she looks like on the day, and wouldn't you rather she be happy and comfortable so she can focus on you?

Hmm, I'm not sure that even with you paying you can force her to have it done...

I think you should let her know your concerns, that all of you will have coordinating hair and make up and you'd really like her to not look out of place. Maybe suggest she comes along to the trial but doesn't have it done, meet the H&MUA see whatit is you are having done and then she can try and recreate it herself, on the proviso that if she can't do it to the right quality that she has it done?

Of course don't tell her it looked terrible on her day!

Has she said why she is saying no? I have firend who is really funny about people styling her hair and doing her makeup - hse won't believe they can do it 'properly'. She is one of my BMs and will be coming along to the trial with me and other BM to discuss what the artists might do with her - but we all have such different hair that if she does it herself there's no issue with it not 'fitting in'

I think I'm just annoyed cos she was a total pain at her wedding and we all did exactly what she wanted. Why would you not want your hair, nails and make up done for free?? I am just confused! My mum says I should sack her.

I'd leave her to do what she wants, nobody will look much at the bridesmaids anyway and as Venart said, it won't reflect badly on you. Two of my bridesmaids (OH nieces) have decided to go to their own hair and MUA rather than the one I booked for all of us (I'm paying) so will no longer be staying over with me the night before and won't be on the getting ready photos. Do I care? Hell no! Their loss

When reading through your post, my initial thoughts were to let her do her own because she knows what she feels comfortable with, etc. But then reading further through your post, I'm thinking that she should have her hair and make-up done because you mentioned about everyone having the similar hairstyles and make up.

Does she understand that all four bridemaids will have the similar hairstyles and make up? Do the hair and make up stylists offer a trial run? If so, that could be an opportunity to iron out her worries. Perhaps she doesn't want her hair done a certain way, or only likes certain colours. With a trial run, maybe you can come to a suitable compromise if there are things that she really doesn't want to go for?

I just thought, if she didn't even get someone to do her hair and make up on her own wedding day, maybe she really has a strong dislike or even phobia?

Some people just don't like it.

I hate being "messed with", and did my own hair and make up on my wedding day. I can't stand people messing with my hair, and certainly not my face. Maybe she's the same.

Just because we're women, doesn't mean we all like the pampering.

I've texted her and now she is saying it's the cost thats the issue. I think she feels bad cos she has started seeing someone and moved in with him, so he is now invited to the whole day (£70 per head) which is the same cost as getting her make up done. I've said it doesn't matter...I over budgeted for make up and hair anyway.

Difficult one. I can see why your annoyed as it is an honour to be a BM and for someone to spend the money having your makeup done. That said.... two months after my own wedding I am to be bridesmaid for one of my BMs and I had a makeup trial done for her wedding and looked and felt awful. I have seriously considered saying I'd rather do my own. The products she used really itched my skin (i did tell her what products I use that are ok for me), therefore I'd much prefer to do my own with tried and tested products.

Saying that...I havent the heart to tell her, so I've shut up and got on with it. As she hasnt I'd perhaps just explain the vision you have for the BMs or perhaps see if she will have hair done but not makeup. Either way try not to worry about her makeup....your the star of the show on your wedding day!

Bit harsh. Not wanting your hair and makeup done professionally is hardly crime of the century.

I think you need to take a chill pill and not worry about it. On the day you wont even notice if she has missing teeth let alone if her hair exactly matches the rest of the bridesmaids.

I laughed so hard at this I blew a little bubble out of my nose

I decided to ask all my BMs how they would feel about a make up artist. They all said as long as they dont do..... for my sister it's eyeliner, for my cousin its foundation. So they aren't getting one, they feel more comfortable doing their own so thats what they will be doing.

I dont even have one booked, my cousin is doing mines cos I dont trust anybody else! x

Is she getting ready with you on the day? Because you might find that when she sees how everyone else is looking all polished and pristine, she might want to have it done aswell? Maybe factor in time for her to get "done" aswell, just in case.

I don't think you can force her to have it done and I think it is a little harsh to sack her. Maybe just have an informal chat, tell her what colours the other bridesmaids are going to have and that you'd like her to stick to those colours. If it is just about the cost then tel her that it is all within your budget and she really mustn't worry.

xx

I'm the same way! And I've never had a professional makeover that I liked. My bridesmaids are great at hair and I'll be doing my own makeup. Though, I must say, when I was a bridesmaid and the bride wanted us to have our hair and makeup done I just went along with things and didn't kick up a fuss, so I see your point...

You can't really force her to if she doesn't want to. Mention it once more and if she says no, then I'd leave it.

Just leave her too it. save ur pennies & leave hger too it. you ont want bad feeling on the day & like someone else said you wont even notice x

Yeah I'm gonna leave it or there will just be a huge kick off. I have enjoyed the majority of the planning but I have awkward people which stress me out!

My dad and my others halves dad refused to wear the suits we wanted to hire (Plain black suit, with ivory waistcoat and burgundy cravat!) this caused a huge row at first but then I gave up. So my OH and his BM are wearing matching suits and our dads aren't. I'm still not happy about it but whatever, it just caused more hassle and upset than it was worth.

I had a bridesmaid issue with dresses too - all my bridesmaids wanted vivien of holloway dresses, but 1 bridesmaid - incidentally the one who is refusing to have hair and make up done, was too big to fit in the dresses - I picked something similar in style that they could all fit in but the other bridesmaids were not pleased cos they had their hearts set on a certain dress. It's just been a nightmare! Lol

Oh my goodness. You poor thing, you must be so stressed!

I'm so glad we decided to have everyone wear whatever they want!

It's hardly her fault she couldn't fit into the dress is it! I'm surprised I'm the first to say it but you are coming across like a right Bridezilla. Your friend told you she was concerned about the cost as you were inviting her OH aswell which is why she refused your offer of free make up and hair, and yet you are still b*tching?

WSS! I'm sure not being able to fit in the dress was mortifying enough for her without you saying it causing you problems.

She said she was worried about costs, that too me only paints a picture of a nice person!

I didn't mind about the bridesmaid dresses but my other bridesmaids did cos they had their heart set on them. The only reason I am being arsey is because she made us do whatever she wanted for her big day, yet she is being unco-operative with me. It's hardly fair is it? She made me wear certain make up and have my hair done a certain way.

In fairness to Fryer she's hasn't made a fuss about the dress not fitting, she just mentioned that having found a different dress of a similar style, the other bridesmaids aren't happy. In this case she seems to be trying to please everyone but can't

There is no pleasing everyone! Lol.