Hi everyone, I’d really like to get some opinions on a drama with one of my bridesmaids...
So I have 6 bridesmaids altogether (2 cousins who I was close growing up with and my half sister (who arnt involved in any planning it’s more so they feel included and I’m the eldest so it was expected by my family somehow), and 3 friends, one of whom is my MoH and lives abroad, one lives in Leicester and one close to me in Mcr).
The 3 friend bridesmaids I have known for about 4 years and chose them as we all get along well as a group, and I really wanted to have a hen mini-break with these 3 as thought it would be really enjoyable and a great way to bring the group closer together, especially as apart from me and the friend in Mcr we all don’t all see each other often as live in different places. I don’t go on girls nights out or hols really so I was really excited for this...
When I asked the friend in Leicester to be a bridesmaid she was really excited and supportive, and made suggestions for how she could help, though she never committed to doing anything. We were all planning on a WhatsApp group details about our trip, and suddenly out of the blue the bridesmaid in Leicester posts in the group she has decided not to come to this anymore and for us to have fun. I have to admit I was shocked and hurt to deadbeat that when she had fb spoken with me directly about her concerns first and it came so out of the blue. We were all shocked and told her so, and after a few days of the silent treatment from all of us she finally sent me a short message saying she was sorry if she came across abruptly and she still wanted to support if I would still have her. I was careful to respond with a calm voice message expaking that I was upset and very very surprised and asking what was wrong, and suggesting that if she had other issues going on (as maybe MoH suggested she may have but wouldn’t say what) then perhaps it was better if she attended the wedding as a guest with her husband and didn’t need the responsibilities of bridesmaid duties. I got no response to my message which was also hurtful. I know my MoH has remained close to her and speaking to her throughout these months when she’s been avoiding talking to me, and finally she sends a message via my MoH that she has cancelled her hotel room. I tell my MoH can she ask this girl why’ve she feels she can’t speak to me directly and why she has disregarded our friendship, but she is very evasive and not keen to get involved or help. She’s generally poor at answering messages anyway and takes a few days to respond to anything, but she just seems to be completely avoiding getting involved in this, even though she’s in a position where she could help...which compounds my sadness abut this situation and makeshift me feel really unsupported tbh.
Sorry for such a long message I just needed to get this off my chest! I’m quite sensitive about the fact I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years through moving away or people not communicating an issue or what’s going on and just letting the friendship wither, so I think I’m just sensitive about this happening again.
No one ever tells you how stressful planning a wedding is and how political...it really shows you how lovely some people can be and vice-versa.
any thoughts welcome, thanks for reading!
Mel xx