I'm hoping someone will have some good advise, I'm having a nightmare with one of my bridesmaids. I'm getting married 4 weeks today (yay!!) so could do without this so late on but I suppose that's the way things go! Really sorry if this is really long!!
I have 2 BM's, they don't really know each other, although have met a few times in the past on nights out and stuff. Issues started back in feb when one (call her BM 1) asked if anyone was organising my hen do, I said no I don't think so, so she asked if she could do it, I was like of course. So she apparantly sent around an e-mail to all my friends, including other BM (BM 2). I was then informed that BM 2 had sent a bit of a snotty e-mail to BM 1, copying my mum in, saying that she was really offended she hadn't spoken to her first etc etc, BM 1 apologised and said if she wanted to organise it or help in anyway she was more than welcome.
Following on from that I kept getting BM 2 whining about it and moaning about what BM 1 was organising, where it was, the cost, everything really. I told her that I wasn't interested in getting stuck in the middle of an argument and that I really didn't want to hear about it. Ironically, the one doing the moaning earns far more than I do, and my other bridesmaid is a vet nurse and doesn't earn anything near what we do, yet she offered to pay for my ticket, and has offered to contribute towards costs of everything (i.e. dress, hotel, hair and makeup etc), yet the one moaning has not offered at all. ?
Soooo fast forward to saturday night, my hen do. All night BM2 was making snide comments about details of my wedding, and being really snooty with all my friends and OH's mum who also came. Comments range from hair and makeup: She has refused to have her makeup done on the day, stating that she would only have to take it off and do it herself. Moaning about the time my hair and makeup lady will be starting on us in the morning. I ended up justifying everything, and when trying to say my lady was really good and that she does work for TV, she threw back at me 'that means she will just plaster it on with a trowel'.....☹️ everyone around the table goes silent at the point.....she's moaning that her shoes are too high, and she doesn't like strapless dresses (bridesmaid dress is strapless and shoes are only 2.5 inches), we went horse racing and then she starts coming out with ridiculous comments about the venue, the horses, the racing (most of us have horses hence the venue, although BM 2 does not).
Everyone stayed at mine on sat night, and then next morning OH came back from his mates house with breakfast for us all ?, once everyone had left it was us, his mum and BM2. She finally left at midday, and OH commented that she was being really opinionated with him and kept talking down to him. She also made a few comments in front of him which he mentioned to me afterwards, one being that our photographers style is 'pretentious' as she takes some shots in b&w ☹️. Next up his mum is saying that she was really snooty to her and would only talk about intellectual things, and nothing trivial and general chit chat, and made her feel really uncomfortable. I've then had 2 of my other friends saying she was awful and opionated and that they don't want to sit near her at the wedding......unfortunately for me the plan was to sit her on the head table, although I am rapidly chaning my mind!
Soooo I'm a bit stuck really. I don't know what to do. She used to be lovely, but in the last 6 months has got more and more snooty and the snidy comments are just flowing thick and fast. I want to say something to her, but don't really know what, other than suggest she changes her whole personality! I am dreading the morning of my wedding now, my two BM's don't talk - one is being a b*tch and the other one just tries to be polite but avoids conversation with her.....I can just see it being awful. My mum has said she will keep her away from me, but I don't see how when we will be getting ready together etc and she is meant to be my BM. Some people are saying ditch her, my mum is saying I can't do that and to just ignore it.
Anyone got any suggestions?
