Bridesmaid plus one's - help!

Invite who you want to spend your day with, not who you think you ought to. If you don't like the OHs then don't invite them. Simple.

I'm just worried it would be very rude.

I know I shouldn't care, but I do - they are my friends, close friends, and I don't want to upset them over such a trivial matter - but again I am very concerned about what their plus ones would do?

Oooh it's a tricky one. I'm umming and aahing myself over plus ones for some of my guests.

2 of my BMs plus ones will be ushers so that's fine (my brother and his girlfriend, OH's sister and her husband)

Another bridesmaid is married and I know her husband well, stay at their house etc etc but he's not a nice person, she doesn't really like him (LONG story) and so I almost don't want to invite him just so she can have a great day, but can't NOT invite him because that would look awful and would probably cause more hassle than it's worth.

My other BM is my 18 year old cousin, one of those people who is on FB every 5 mins telling everyone how much she loves her boyfriend......until they break up and she moves onto the next one a week later. In the past 18 months she's been head over heels for 3 boys. I'm probably going to see nearer the time for that one lol if she's still with her BF then he can come, if it's a new one then no, sorry, get lost.

It's definitely a delicate area, I'd be inclined to say only invite the closest one, but as BMs they might feel they automatically got a plus one. How do they feel about it, have you talked to them?

I am being a bridesmaid in May for my best friend!!! We see each other at least once a month, this being said she has meet my OH twice just the way thing have worked out!! My OH has not meet her OH and will only know about 3 other people at the whole wedding. He is being invited to her wedding I would of thought it odd if he wasnt. I supose it is slightly differnt though as we are engaged.

Well they know that when the guest list was drafted that they didn't have a plus one, and they have been led to believe we are at capacity and therefore don't think they are getting a plus one.

However with the change in circumstances, one BM will need a plus one, and since Best Friend now lives with her OH (they will soon become engaged too I believe) I feel it would be like me not reconigising them as a couple if I didn't invite her OH, but then I don't want the other 2 to feel pushed out.

I seem to be going round in circles the more I write it down on here, the more I change my mind. ?

If they are long term partners and are serious I would invite them. I just think as they are your bridesmaids you should invite their OH's. If they dont come then thats up to them. You could always just invite them to the evening if you are having a separate evening do?

We planned it to keep it to close family and friends, and the bridesmaid's partners are my ushers.

One of the bridesmaids has two children which we are having as flowergirl and ringbearer, and her husband, although not having an official role in the proceedings, will be responsible for looking after the children during the service whilst she's being a bridesmaid

Personally I would invite all the bridesmaids plus ones.

They all seem like long(ish) term relationships so I think you should invite the OHs, that way the bridesmaids/OHs have a choice themselves over whether they want to come or not.

I think if the bridesmaids are important to you, then you should try to keep them happy.

I would be tempted just to invite your cousins OH, he is family and you know him and he needs to look after the daughter. I would then invite the other OHs to the evening do only. Reason why is I have a thing about not wanting people i dont know there (this is just a personal preference tho) and also they are not going to be with the BMs for the whole ceremony and reception (assuming the BMs are on the top table) so will be wandering round like lost sheep not knowing anyone which cant be much fun for them either. At least in the eveining they will be able to be with the BMs.

I have noticed from here tho that some people feel very strongly about OHs being invited to things so i guess only you know if your BMs will think this is OK or not, but i think you would have to have a conversation with them about it before the invites go out to gauge their views

Thanks everyone - going to broach the subject with them now....

Wish me luck