Bridesmaid problems

Apologies for the extremely long post but I really need some help and I don’t know how to resolve it. A few weeks ago we sent our wedding invites out, with the information for the rooms for the wedding party enclosed. We have rooms with our venue which we have put aside for our wedding party but we are not covering the cost, and have been upfront with everyone about this from the get go. It’s £125 for a room with breakfast included. We have said if anyone doesn’t want it that’s fine there’s no pressure, just let us know so we can inform the venue how many rooms will be occupied. When one of my bridesmaids, one of my best friends, received the invite she messaged me to ask why I was expecting her to pay and she was under the impression it was included. I’ve not had this issue from anyone else in the party, including her sister who is another one of my bridesmaids. I told her there was no requirement to pay and it’s absolutely fine if she doesn’t want the room. She then told me I’d offended her before now by ‘moving the goalposts’- I asked her what she meant as I’ve paid for the dresses and there’s no other payment required for anything with the exception of the hair and makeup which she’d agreed to a year ago when I booked the MUA. She said she doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid anymore but still wants to come to the wedding(l (also doesn’t want to come to the hen do anymore either). Then she said she still wants a room, to which I told her I’m sorry but the rooms are for the wedding party only. She then said she would be a bridesmaid but wouldn’t be happy on the day, so I said don’t be one then I only want people around me on my wedding morning that are 100% happy and invested in the day with me. I haven’t resolved anything with her but we’ve continued to talk as part of a wider WhatsApp chat amicably- she removed herself from my bridesmaid group chat and the hen do group chat. How do I broach the subject with her about where she stands, if she is indeed no longer a bridesmaid so I can get the dress back off her, inform my MUA and florist about the change of requirements etc.? I don’t want to rock the boat further, but I’m so hurt and upset about it all and I feel like no matter the outcome, this will be in my mind on the morning of my wedding. If she isn’t a bridesmaid I will miss her, and if she is her presence will remind me of this argument. She’s one of my oldest friends and we’re a very close knit friendship group but she’s a very big character which I’m not, so I tend to just roll over and accept it to avoid conflict but this is my wedding day and it’s really hurt me.