Over a year ago my partner and I got engaged and we couldn’t wait to start planning our big day. We booked our venue and asked a selection of the special people in our lives to be part of our bridal party.
I have three bridesmaids, including my sister and to be honest I don’t know where I’d be without her. Planning a wedding can be pretty overwhelming and making decisions is so difficult. I’m having a few issues with the other two girls I’ve asked to be my bridesmaids. I completely understand that people have their own lives to lead and I truly don’t expect them to drop everything or give up much time. However, they just don’t seem to be very interested. They don’t respond to texts and when they do its weeks, sometimes a month later, they’ve cancelled on two separate occasions the day before bridesmaid dress shopping....and I don’t really hear from them.
I met up with a few friends (not the bridesmaids) for dinner a few weeks back and they told me that they’d heard one of my bridesmaids had been to see the venue that my partner and I are getting married at. The next day I received a text from her saying they had provisionally booked the same venue as us.
I took a little while to think about the best way to respond to this. I was a little upset that I’d found out from the group first, then via text message....rather than a face to face conversation so we could speak to each other about things.
I responded saying it came as a surprise to me but it’s important that her and her partner booked a venue they loved. I then asked the date they were considering and she didn’t respond.
I was then informed by a mutual friend that she had booked the same venue as us for two weeks after our date....I won’t be able to attend her wedding as we will be on our honeymoon.
I completely understand that we don’t own the venue and she is entitled to get married anywhere, anytime she wants....I just can’t help but feel disappointed that she couldn’t have sat down with me and spoke it through. I’m genuinely sad I won’t be able to see her get married.
I spoke to her over the phone as she was too busy to meet me face to face, so that we could chat things out to avoid any awkwardness. I will be honest, I’m a little upset/shocked that they’ve selected the same venue as us literally two weeks after....but it is entirely her choice and I’m happy for her. I explained all of this on the phone to her and the only response she gave was “well I can’t help how you feel, we can share our ideas so we don’t have the same things”! Things just feel awkward between us and the friendship is drifting apart.
I’ve some people advising me to ask her to step down as bridesmaid as she will be too busy planning her own wedding for the same venue and it might cause tension between the two of us. However, I’d feel absolutely terrible asking somebody to step down....I just don’t know if I can do that.
How would you other brides feel and what would you do if it was your bridesmaid?
