Bridesmaid upset

I'd probably be upset at the reaction too

but don't worry I'm sure it will all work out, maybe give her a call and chat about it.

she may have a bit of bride envy now that you're getting married too xx

I guess she may feel that your wedding somehow "dilutes" her day. Have you chosen a date that's close to hers? It seems odd they have booked a honeymoon for then!

Maybe she doesn't want to have to devote attention to a second wedding right now. If I were you, I'd not mention any more about her being a bridesmaid... her attitude so far isn't looking good.

I see her every day as we work together. We're teachers which is why her honeymoon clashes with my day (she has to wait until the summer hols to go on honeymoon) but she hasn't even booked it, only her OH has booked time off work! I could understand bride envy if she wasn't getting married or if I planned my day before hers but this isn't the playground, we are grown women!!! I guess it was naive to expect people to be happy for me, even when I was single and lonely I was happy for those who were happy... Guess it's just 'suck it up and deal', just hard I guess...

Thanks for replying ladies :-)

Sending you a cyber hug

Hope you get this sorted out soon. xxx

As someone who has been in a similar position to your friend I can maybe provide a little insight into how she might be feeling.

As the first to get engaged, she probably feels like she has first dibs on things. If she has been planning her honeymoon for that date for a long time, she will no doubt feel as though you're raining on her parade somewhat.

If I were you, I'd give her a call and discuss the dates etc to check there's no clashes and see if you can work things out so that she'll be there.

She shouldn't have an issue with you getting married in the same year but if she has been looking forward to the honeymoon for a long time, she's probably disappointed and annoyed that it has got in the way of her wedding celebrations (even though they are a few months after the wedding).

Talk to her sooner rather than later, be considerate and try and find a way around it so you can both be excited for each other's weddings and enjoy the experience with each other.

It would be a shame to lose the friendship of someone close enough to be your bridesmaid over a wedding bust-up.

Just because they haven't actually booked the honeymoon trip, doesn't mean they haven't decided that's when they'll go away. You say her OH has booked that time off work.He's clearly not a teacher and it's clearly in the school holidays as you and your friend are both teachers. She's probably very disappointed that your wedding clashes with her honeymoon. Your plans don't take anything away from her wedding day, but it does mean she's in a bit of a hard place now and is likely to miss your wedding or her own honeymoon. Perhaps a different perspective for you to consider .

Also you will find, and to a certian extent are already showing the signs, when you are in the throes of organising your own wedding, no matter how grown up you might be, things that get in the way, do "get in the way" and stop you perhaps reacting as you would otherwise do. So I think yes, you are perhaps being a little over sensitive, but it's someting you need to get used to hun. Rarely is everyone else as excited about your wedding as you are/will be.

My FSIL announced a couple of weeks ago now that she's getting married 7 weeks before us. This was totally out of the blue and unexpected. Our wedding has been planned for months now. Neither me or my OH (her bro) reacted as perhaps we should for a number of reasons, mainly because of how close it is to ours and it's largely the same guests so I've got concerns about money etc. We've now got over it and are just continuing with our plans changing nothing. You put a lot of emotional energy into planning a wedding which can leave you a little short of emotional resource, which you'll find as the months go. You'll then understand perhaps where your friend is coming from.

I can understand why you're upset- is it worth having a proper chat with her and just checking whether everything is ok with her? It could be for any number of reasons and it's hard to speculate

When we were looking at a May wedding date, one of the first things I checked was whether my bridesmaid would be available, or off on Honeymoon as she was getting married in March just beforehand.

One's own wedding and one's own honeymoon out-trump anybody elses, so this is why I checked with my bridesmaid. I would therefore expect yours to be a bit disappointed if she needs to change her honeymoon. If she is willing to do so, that is. If her OH cannot change his booked leave dates, I'd assume they would go on their honeymoon and I would be gracious about it and would not hold it against them at all.

If you only got engaged last week, I assume you haven't actually booked a venue for the wedding anyway yet, am I right? In which case you might find that your proposed date isn't available anyway. Maybe if your chosen venue offers you a range of available dates, you could confer with your family and wedding party before settling on a date???