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Beginner October 2024 Shropshire

Bridesmaids and canapés

Kim, 25 July, 2023 at 10:56 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 3
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So first of all, do most people have canapés during the drinks hour before the wedding breakfast? Or would it go unnoticed if we doing do them? The venue we have chosen charge £9.50 for 3 x canapés and we will have around 80-90 guests bearing in mind we her providing them a few drinks and a three course meal shortly after lol.


Also, I’m not sure what to do about two of my old friends and if I should ask them to be bridesmaids. I don’t really see them or even speak to them that often anymore however when we do see each other it’s like old times again. We were kind of a trio but I drifted apart from them when Covid hit and I had my first baby (their kids are 8 years older). I was bridesmaid for both of them years ago and I think I would feel a bit anxious / awkward if I don’t ask them as I would definitely invite them to day ceremony. They still each other and speak to each other regularly and they a shared interests in biking. I’ve never been asked to go biking with them (but then I’ve never been into bikes lol). It’s a bit of an awkward one and I don’t know if to ask them to save the stress or if they would understand that we are longer that close?? Im already having 3 x sisters and 3 x friends so if I had them as well I would make it 8 (also, the bridesmaids are buying heir own dresses so it’s no extra cost for me).
Xxx

3 replies

Latest activity by Sarah, 27 July, 2023 at 22:21
  • H
    Expert November 2022 Lincolnshire
    Hayley ·
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    Whether or not you need canapés can depend on the timings of your day. For example, a 12pm ceremony will mean guests won't have lunch so canapés can be good to keep them going until the wedding breakfast. Or if your ceremony is late enough that guests will have had breakfast/lunch already then they could wait until the main meal. We got married at 3pm with dinner at 5:30pm so we didn't do canapés because they would have eaten twice already so could wait until dinner.
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    If you have to think twice about whether or not to ask someone to be your bridesmaid, then you probably shouldn't ask them. I am sure they will realise that life has moved on since you were bridesmaid for them and they will just be pleased to get an invitation to attend as a guest.

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  • Sarah
    Rockstar August 2024 West Midlands
    Sarah ·
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    Good evening,


    Sorry I can’t give you a definite answer about capanes.. it is all choice! I do think it’s nice to have a nibble and drink after the ceremony. It can sometimes break up a little bit of awkwardness. But equally, it is a lot of money so I completely appreciate that.


    Then the issue about the bridesmaid. Dependjng how long away your wedding is, sit and think of it. A lot of people rush to make this decision and then end up regretting it down the line. One thing I’ve noticed about my own planning is that the people you expect to be overjoyed and excited for you sometimes aren’t and with that expectation sometimes you end up being let down. Just because they are old friends don’t mean they automatically get the right to be a bridesmaid. I ended up asking somebody who I’ve known for 2 years but became very close with and I know will be friends for a lifetime, the relationship I have with them is completely unmatched compare to friendships I’ve had for 10+ years.

    It is worth also considering If you’re proposed bridesmaid can afford the financial commitment it may entail, It’s a bit commitment to be a bridesmaid and a lot should go into it other than just turning up on the day.

    I think If you’re questioning the thought of asking them, I think you know deep down the answer. For me, it would be a no brainer.


    Good luck :-) xxx

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