Bridesmaids Dress Doesn't Fit

Wow - the dress must be really small if you can't let it out a little bit.

I'd be miffed at your BM too if this had happened, but then you did take the risk agreeing with her to buy a smaller dress. It would have been easier for you to buy the right size for her and then for her to pay for alterations to make it smaller if she needed to.

Has she considered wearing some spanx underneath to see if this helps her fit into it?

I'm sorry, I don't have much advise to give on this - hope it all works out OP.

I read that differently - I thought the OP had bought the dress in her size and the BM has since gained more weight.

I don't envy you this chat but I think you need to have it with her. Sit her down and explain that the dress will only fit if she loses weight. Offer to help - go to the gym with her or go walking or whatever she wants to do to get fit.

If she doesn't want to lose any weight - which is perfectly reasonable - then you need to think about a different dress for her. Personally I think you two need to talk about whose responsibility it is to buy it. i think as the bride it's yours but then she did say she would fit the dress so maybe she should help?

If she says she will fit the dress I would quietly arrange a back-up dress anyway.

Also is there anywhere else you could get the dress? eBay? What does it look like? How difficult would it be to get something that looks similar enough that she won't stand out.

Weight is a sensitive subject so tread carefully - you don't want to hurt her. But I'm sure it will be fine. These things happen and although it feels like a disaster just now it can all be sorted!

So Sorry OP - I read your post wrong. DOH!

I now see you have bought the dress in your BM's current size but she has put their weight on.

Still don't have much advice! I would definitely see if some Spanx could help.

Has she tried the dress on recently? Who has the dress now? Maybe you could suggest a try on session to see how it will look with hair in a certain way or some other excuse. That might put your mind at rest.

You did the right thing buying her the bigger size dress to begin with. I disagree with one of the PPs though; if she's put on weight then I think it's her responsibility to pay for a new dress. Why should you have to pay out twice?

I'm with Karen. She told you what size she wanted the dress ordered, you stuck to your guns and ordered the size up, it still doesn't fit.You shouldn't be out of pocket for her putting on weight.

How long until the wedding and how small exactly is the dress? I know it's easier said than done, but it's possible to lose a considerable amount in a short space of time, if she's determined to do it. Maybe this will give her the motivation she needs? Simply walking 30-60 mins a day and logging food (forcing me to face how much i was really eating!) in My Fitness Pal dropped me 2lbs a week when i was at my worst food-wise!

I get that you don't want to fork out for things you don't 'need' to if she's not going to be BM, but that money is already budgeted for so not much you can do immediately unless she is not going to be BM. If it's only a few weeks to the wedding surely some of the items will be returnable when you know for sure?

I'd talk to her and be honest. Give her the option.

How do you feel about her wearing a different dress? If you don't mind, then you could say to her it doesnt matter which dress she is wearing but it is up to her to sort it out. I think you are perfectly entitled to say she has to pay for any new dress.

if you are not prepared for her to wear a different dress (and I don't blame you if you're not, I was very clear with my bridesmaids they must wear the same dress), then you need to lay it out to her - the dress either fits or she can't be bridesmaid. You could try to put this nicely be saying she can still be included and get ready with you all, but just sit out walking down the aisle?

Thanks all!!

I'm happy to spend money for things on someone who is being my bridesmaid, it's another thing entirely to squander a further £200+ down the drain on someone who is making zero effort to loose weight.

Also all the other girls are in matching dresses, including my MoH, so it would be odd to have her on something different. i would have more sympathy if she was trying - I'd pay for everything happily in the hope it would fit on the day, but while she is getting bigger I begrudge pouring money down the drain.

I suspect ill end up spending the money anyway, then on day obv it will go to waste & she'll have to be a regular guest... :-/

You shouldn't be paying out twice for her. Have you asked a seamstress for advice if a panel could be added into the back of the dress to make it bigger? Even if the back of the dress isnt an exact match in terms of colour to the others, the front would look the same in pics and not as obvious as a completely different dress. Its difficult, but I'd ask the BM to pay for any alterations, emphasising it will be more comfortable etc. If she insists it will fit, leave her to it. She has to wear it and feel uncomfortable on the day, and if you have offered solutions, that all you can do. Could she leave the back unzipped & wear a pashmina or bolero jacket- at her cost?

How long is there until your wedding? Safe weight loss is 1lb per week. I think you need an honest chat with her now. If she isn't willing to commit to losing the weight, then she should just come as a regular guest. Nothing wrong with that, but you've bought her dress a size larger than she asked, and she doesn't fit into it, and it's too late now to order another size.

I wouldn't put any money down on anything else for her (hair, makeup etc) until you've had that conversation.

PLEASE HELP! I'm in a similar situation. My wedding is less than 3 weeks away and I bought my BM customised dresses in March. It was too tight on my BM when it came and she promised to lose weight. We tried it on at the weekend and it wouldn't even go over her legs/bum. So we took it to a very nice seamstress who took it out 9cm and it STILL won't go past her legs/bum/hips. She is repeatedly telling me she is going to lose the weight and it will be fine.

However its causing me so much anxiety and stress as I really really don't think she will be able to lose so much weight in that area so shortly.

I don't want to spend my time on the run up to the wedding with this stress when everything else is in order. But is it harsh to cut her out of the wedding now or do I have to sit and worry for the next 3 weeks? There are no more alterations that can be done and the dress is now discontinued. Any advice welcome as I just don't know what to do.

Is she your only BM? If so, the easiest thing to do would be to just get her a new dress that fits. If there are other BMs wearing identical dresses of course you've got the issue that she wouldn't then match the others...but does that really matter? The mis-matched look is fashionable right now!

I understand how annoying this hitch in your plans must be, with only three weeks to go. But I definitely wouldn't cut her out of the wedding just because she doesn't fit into a particular dress. Would you not rather include her in your special day in a different dress instead of risking your friendship? When you look back on your photos in years to come, will it upset you more to not see her face in them at all, or to see her wearing something slightly different to the others?

x