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C
Beginner September 2026 Essex

Bridesmaids faff

Christine, 26 of May of 2024 at 23:08 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 9
I am having a bit of a panic as to whom I should ask to be my bridesmaid or whether I should even have any at all! I don’t have a strong girl friend circle ( although I have lots of girlfriends, just not any real stand out mates) and am an only child. I don’t have any female cousins either and have a son and 2 step sons. Not sure what to do!! Any advise gratefully received!

9 replies

Latest activity by SunnyPurpleFlowers85794, 19 of June of 2024 at 09:06
  • A
    Beginner May 2024 South West London
    Alexandra ·
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    Hi Christine!


    I’m recently married and I didn’t have any bridesmaids. I think I’m similar to you in that I have lots of girl friends but no particular best friends but I also didn’t feel at all strongly about having the traditional bridesmaids activities like the matching dresses and getting ready together. I also didn’t want to burden my friends with any chores or errands so that they could enjoy the wedding as guests.

    I did have a hen do but this was just a night out where I gave the date and my friends very kindly organised/hosted without them having to have any particular wedding party title. I also just had one friend look at dresses with me but this was a sample sale so pretty low key. My girl friends were also really happy to offer to do things or to get ready together but I was pretty casual about it and did my own hair and makeup anyway.
    I think you can really pick and choose which parts you care about and hopefully your girlfriends will get on board without having to be official bridesmaids.
    Good luck planning!
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    I didn't have bridesmaids either - in my view, if you're unsure, then don't. And judging by the number of posts we get on here about bridesmaids falling out, bridesmaids acting like it's their own wedding, bridesmaids having meltdowns because they don't like their dress or hair, etc, etc, etc, we save ourselves a whole load of problems by not having them!

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  • C
    Beginner September 2026 Essex
    Christine ·
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    Thank you both so much for the replies!! I am already feeling overwhelmed with choice in all areas, it’s one less thing to fret about not having them. And to know I am not alone makes such a difference!
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  • Georgia
    Beginner November 2024 Northamptonshire
    Georgia ·
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    Hi Christine,

    I have decided not to have any bridesmaids, I have some amazing friends but none which I want to put the pressure (financial or otherwise) of being a bridesmaid and do not want to lose any friends over my wedding either. I’m having a hen do which everyone is coming to and couldn’t be more excited to include my friends that way instead 😊

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  • Katrina
    Dedicated February 2025 West Midlands
    Katrina ·
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    If you don't have any close friends don't feel the pressure of having Bridemaids. Do what feels right to you.
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  • C
    Beginner September 2026 Essex
    Christine ·
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    Thanks Georgia! Love this! It’s great that everyone is involved and as you say no pressure or friendship stress!! Wishing you all the best for your hen do and big day! 😀
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  • Karen
    Beginner June 2026 Wiltshire
    Karen ·
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    I am also an only child and have three close friends and thats it! I am the only living female relative in my family and I had the same panic. My three friends are my best friends though so I just asked all of them as they have been there through thick and thin! One of them is my Chief Bridesmaid!
    But also its your big day! You don't have to have bridesmaids at all if you want! Hope the planning goes well!

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  • Katie
    Beginner September 2024 Nottinghamshire
    Katie ·
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    Completely agree with the comments here, and like you’ve said in the subject, it’s ‘faff’. I don’t really have a close circle of friends so I’ve chosen my 2 cousins and my sister in law, and even then there’s been some questionable conversations. Do what feels right for you, it’s your day you’ll have enough to sort out never mind bridesmaids ❤️hope you have an amazing day xx
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  • S
    Dedicated March 2024 Hertfordshire
    SunnyPurpleFlowers85794 ·
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    So I’m the opposite in which I was lucky to have 6 bridesmaids..(2 sisters, 1 cousin & 3 best friends) everyone thought I was mad but I knew they were incredibly close to me and they would be nothing but supportive and incredible to be around. I was right and it was absolutely wonderful. They made SUCH a huge difference that the thought of having another friend or someone I don’t know in the same extreme close way would be terrifying. I wouldn’t risk having bridesmaids unless you have people you know for absolute certain are nothing but endless support, help and positivity. You’ve got more decisions to make, more things to plan (what nails, makeup, shoes, hair, accessories, gifts etc to have for them) honestly I would absolutely skip it if you don’t have those stand out girls already.
    Also, you’ll completely forget because the day is about you and your new husband to be, I walked down the aisle on my own and I would have been fine on my own in the morning too. Don’t force anything ‘just because’ it will cost you in stress and money in the long run.
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