Bridesmaids faff

Hi Christine!


I’m recently married and I didn’t have any bridesmaids. I think I’m similar to you in that I have lots of girl friends but no particular best friends but I also didn’t feel at all strongly about having the traditional bridesmaids activities like the matching dresses and getting ready together. I also didn’t want to burden my friends with any chores or errands so that they could enjoy the wedding as guests.

I did have a hen do but this was just a night out where I gave the date and my friends very kindly organised/hosted without them having to have any particular wedding party title. I also just had one friend look at dresses with me but this was a sample sale so pretty low key. My girl friends were also really happy to offer to do things or to get ready together but I was pretty casual about it and did my own hair and makeup anyway.
I think you can really pick and choose which parts you care about and hopefully your girlfriends will get on board without having to be official bridesmaids.
Good luck planning!

I didn't have bridesmaids either - in my view, if you're unsure, then don't. And judging by the number of posts we get on here about bridesmaids falling out, bridesmaids acting like it's their own wedding, bridesmaids having meltdowns because they don't like their dress or hair, etc, etc, etc, we save ourselves a whole load of problems by not having them!

View quoted message Thank you both so much for the replies!! I am already feeling overwhelmed with choice in all areas, it’s one less thing to fret about not having them. And to know I am not alone makes such a difference!

Hi Christine,

I have decided not to have any bridesmaids, I have some amazing friends but none which I want to put the pressure (financial or otherwise) of being a bridesmaid and do not want to lose any friends over my wedding either. I’m having a hen do which everyone is coming to and couldn’t be more excited to include my friends that way instead 😊

If you don't have any close friends don't feel the pressure of having Bridemaids. Do what feels right to you.

View quoted message Thanks Georgia! Love this! It’s great that everyone is involved and as you say no pressure or friendship stress!! Wishing you all the best for your hen do and big day! 😀

I am also an only child and have three close friends and thats it! I am the only living female relative in my family and I had the same panic. My three friends are my best friends though so I just asked all of them as they have been there through thick and thin! One of them is my Chief Bridesmaid!
But also its your big day! You don't have to have bridesmaids at all if you want! Hope the planning goes well!

Completely agree with the comments here, and like you’ve said in the subject, it’s ‘faff’. I don’t really have a close circle of friends so I’ve chosen my 2 cousins and my sister in law, and even then there’s been some questionable conversations. Do what feels right for you, it’s your day you’ll have enough to sort out never mind bridesmaids ❤️hope you have an amazing day xx

So I’m the opposite in which I was lucky to have 6 bridesmaids..(2 sisters, 1 cousin & 3 best friends) everyone thought I was mad but I knew they were incredibly close to me and they would be nothing but supportive and incredible to be around. I was right and it was absolutely wonderful. They made SUCH a huge difference that the thought of having another friend or someone I don’t know in the same extreme close way would be terrifying. I wouldn’t risk having bridesmaids unless you have people you know for absolute certain are nothing but endless support, help and positivity. You’ve got more decisions to make, more things to plan (what nails, makeup, shoes, hair, accessories, gifts etc to have for them) honestly I would absolutely skip it if you don’t have those stand out girls already.
Also, you’ll completely forget because the day is about you and your new husband to be, I walked down the aisle on my own and I would have been fine on my own in the morning too. Don’t force anything ‘just because’ it will cost you in stress and money in the long run.

This is a common issue, especially for those without an obvious choice or a close circle of female friends. Here are some potentially helpful suggestions:

Consider family or close male friends: You can choose your son or stepson as your best man, which is quite common in modern weddings. They can accompany you during the ceremony, support you, and play significant roles in the celebration.

You don't necessarily need traditional bridesmaids: Modern weddings increasingly depart from tradition, so you don't have to worry about having bridesmaids. Some people choose to have just one best man or no bridal party at all, involving close family and friends in other meaningful roles.

Choose a special person: Even if you don't have standout female friends, you may have close friends or family members who, while not traditional bridesmaids, can play important roles in your wedding. This person could be a longtime supportive friend or a close family member like your mother or aunt.

Emphasize support and companionship: Regardless of your choice, it's important to find people who can support and accompany you. They don't need to fit the traditional bridesmaid role perfectly but should be there to provide support and care when you need it.

Communication and honesty: If you're feeling confused or unsure, discuss it with your partner or communicate with important people in your life. They may provide valuable advice or help you make better decisions.

In conclusion, weddings are about you and your partner's special moment. How you choose participants should reflect your personal circumstances and preferences. Don't worry too much about tradition or others' expectations; instead, listen to your inner voice and choose a way that makes you comfortable and happy to celebrate this special day. Best wishes to you both!

Hey!

I have lots of friends but not a friendship group. I dislike the idea of paying out £££ for matching dresses, flowers, hair and makeup. I dislike the idea of them walking down the aisle before me. So I have a couple of special people in mind that I want to get ready with me on the morning, and I'll give them a job or two to be in charge of on the day, so they'll be informal bridesmaids! Takes the pressure off then and takes the rules and expectations out of it. Plus lots cheaper!

I am just having my sister, and as I have one, that's an option for me! But you absolutely don't have to have any if you'd feel like it doesn't make sense. I always feel like your wedding should work for you! 😊

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At my Aunties wedding she didn't have any bridesmaids but did have a "Bridal party" we all wore our own dresses, had a some nice photos together and still threw her a surprise hen do - don't worry about the social norms! It's your day!!