bridesmaids getting engaged after me and planning wedding before me! help!

Not unlucky. On the contrary, very lucky to have friends who are happy in their lives and who want you to be part of it.

Your wedding is your wedding. Their weddings are their weddings. The fact that they are close to each other is just one of those things. Enjoy the 8 months that you will be in full on wedding mode...for you and for them.

I don't want to appear mean but maybe you should read back what you have written? Do you really think your friends are being selfish to plan their weddings for about a year away, one so that she marries on their anniversary? Their wedding is their wedding and your wedding is yours.

I have a similar situation in that two of my good friends have got engaged in the last 2 months, shortly after me, but I think it's exciting! It also means I have people to have wedding chat with when my fiancée gets sick to the back teeth of me! you worried about there being an overlap in styles etc so you won't have your first choice of things?

I don't think you need to worry about being overshadowed! Everyone's wedding is different and personal, and the people who care about you (including your bridesmaids!) will be just as excited at your wedding as they would if there hadn't been the other weddings too. If you're worried about picking the same things, which I can totally see, maybe just have a chat with all the girls together and see how much overlap there actually is and if you can get around any problems there might be. Maybe they are in fact having the same worries as you and are afraid to talk about it to you! There just never seems to be a perfect timing for a wedding, so I think it might be a bit unrealistic for anyone to postpone theirs, and definitely you shouldn't change your plans because of this. Just try to enjoy planning together, on the flipside your bridesmaids will be so much more understanding of what you're going through!

I understand the feeling as one of my close friends did this but the difference being she met me didn't say hello and just yelled at me I'm getting married before you is that I'm as my anxiety means I have too. She has not once asked about mine and after saying she is coming still hasn't rsvp to UK or abroad. Enjoy the fact you can all share plans and talk to each other about it. I get you feel like you have been pushed out but they have a right to choose dates of their own and in all honesty yes it will be expensive but I would have loved to share plans and gone to wedding fairs etc with my friend but we couldn't as she became spiteful through jealousy.

You are not unlucky. You come off as pretty selfish and jealous.

Seriously, a wedding is a celebration of two people coming together to make a commitment to spend the rest of their lives together. It's one day. That doesn't mean you or others get to block out months or years where others can't get married. Also, when you get to a certain age, everybody seems to be getting married. My brother proposed to his girlfriend after we got engaged and got married before we did, and my other brother is getting married less than 6 months after I did. Who cares? I am just happy they found great people to settle down with.

Weddings should be happy occasions. You should be happy for your friends and your friends should be happy for you. It's not like your friends are booking their wedding on the same day.

Lastly - it is none of your business how your friend funds her wedding.

I see your point about weddings being expensive and it will be a burden with hen do and weddings close together. As you are all in the same boat, hopefully this will be considered.

I honestly can't understand your concern though. I would be over the moon if my close friends were getting married and would be looking forward to the best year ever! Weddings aren't an competition but a celebration. Quite happy to go on your behalf - love a wedding!

Honestly? You're being a bit of a cow. You chose to wait for 2yrs to get married, I understand that decision was financial but its very unfair to begrudge your friends happiness at being able to do it faster. I got engaged a month after one of my best friends, and due to my nanna being unwell we chose to get married quickly, 8 months between engagement and wedding, which means we got married 3 months before she did. Obviously I spoke to her when we chose the date and said I hope she didn't mind, but it was lovely to share the experiences with her and she would never have begrudged me pushing my wedding ahead of hers. Take a deep breath and remember that your wedding is one of the most important days of your life, and their wedding is one of the most important days of their lives, and you should all be happy for each other at this exciting time.

No you wouldn't have waited. Easy to talk in theory but you would be newly engaged and excited same as they are and if you was in a position to do it so quick you would (nothing against waiting and saving) but why should they put their lives on hold.

You are completely over reacting and being a bad friend. Stop being so selfish and remember your wedding is not the centre of everyones world.

I understand a little bit where you are coming from, I just don't think your post has come across right!

I had a similar situation in that my sister (my MOH) got engaged a year after me and planned her wedding for 5 weeks before mine, and it's abroad! I did find it a bit difficult to begin with because all of our family seem to talk about hers more because it's first, so it's shortened the build up to mine. But it's not the end of the world. Also, they have a LOT more money than us (they are spending literally ten times more than we are on their big day) and I was worried for a while that everyone would come to our wedding 5 weeks later and think it was crappy and cheap! So yes I had a sulk for a little bit, but then I realised it's not about how much money you spend, it's the people that make the day and just because they are spending more doesn't necessarily mean their day will be better than ours, I was just being silly and worrying over nothing

I suppose what I'm trying to say is you need to put things into perspective. It's not really that big a deal and more than anything (and this is the way I'm thinking of it now) - what an amazing, exciting busy year you are going to have! For me, I think it makes our wedding year definitely one to remember because there is so much going on, and it will be hard to top this year so it makes it special! Just try and look at the positives, and be happy for them as I'm sure they are for you

Hi OP, I agree with most of the others, your post was very unpleasant & comes across as sour grapes

Unfortunately, this is a situation you have no control over. You can Postpone your date if you please but bear in mind that no one has a monopoly over wedding dates & you may well find that even if you change your date you have the same problem.

My advice is to dig out & put on your "big girl pants" , suck it up & smile sweetly- Your wedding isn't the be all & end all to anyone but you. I'm sorry if you feel disappointed by all the negative responses.

Totally agree with others. You're over reacting and being very selfish. How amazing that you're all getting married around the same time, that's so exciting! I would love that.

Sorry op, but i agree with the others.

there cant be a hard fast rule about 'who goes first'. if all of these girls know each other (including your sis) then one poor bride will have to wait 4 years...

relax, and think about the fun you can have planning all together. you will likely have a great time.

Be happy for them. You wont be upstaged as you will all have different dresses, colour schemes etc..... it's about you and your fiance, forget about everyone else.

On a practical note why don't you have one joint hen do. This will save you all time and money and you will have an awesome party.

Other than that you need to get a grip, you don't have a right to dictate other peoples lives. You should be happy for them, the fact that you aren't makes me wonder what kind of friend you are.

I understand that cost is an issue, it can be very difficult to find money for unexpected things if you're on a tight budget for a wedding. But you've got to suck it up, put some things on a 0% card until after your wedding if need be - it's not ideal but these friends are presumably supporting you in planning your wedding, and that door swings both ways.

On the plus side, when their weddings are all done and dusted, you will still have the excitement of yours to come.

I agree with the others. It may just be the way it came across from your first post. I'm in a similar situation myself, my sister got engaged after me and is having her wedding before me as her fiance's parents are paying for it. Initially I was a bit disgruntled as I would have loved to have like sooner but couldn't due to money. But you just have to look at it from other peoples perspectives. As others have said your friends are probably newly engaged and very excited to get planning and why shouldn't they be. I had to realise that my personal financial situation shouldn't have any bearing on when my sister gets married! I'm so happy for her as she's wanted this for ages. Just focus on the positives and realise not everyone thinks your wedding is as important as you might.

Seriously?? Are you actually for real?? You actually think they are selfish for planning their weddings - in my book that makes you a spoilt little brat. Get over yourself sweetheart and be happy for them. My guess is your MOH is sick of hearing just how important you and your day are!

Good for you OP for reading comments and not taking a hissy-fit. it looks as though some posters didnt read through the full thread to see you had acknowledged comments (negative, positive and neutral).

it is hard to see wood for tree's at times, especially times as stressful as this. good luck xx

It actually sounds like the fact all the weddings are close together isn't the real issue, but there's other stuff going on about how your BMs are acting that is causing you stress. If they are all close enough to you to be BMs could you sit down with them and have a frank conversation about how you feel? Not about the dates, you can't and shouldn't dictate that to them, but about how much or little they seem able to help or compromise. Telling you that you can't talk about your wedding is out of order!

That being said it's important for you to be open to feedback too, only you know the ins and outs of the situation but there could be valid reasons that some of your BMs ate acting that way. who knows one of them could be posting a rant here tomorrow about how her best mate has been standoffish and unhelpful about helping them plan their wedding just because it's before hers

Jodie I have come back here to apologise for my post here yesterday. I'm afraid I was having a really sh!tty day and you bore the brunt of that. That isn't like me and it wasn't fair of me to take it out on you so I hope you will accept my apologies.

I do think there may be deeper issues between you and your BM and I wonder if it is worth you meeting her for a completely non-wedding related chat to clear the air.

i wish you a very happy wedding however it works out x

A while ago I probably would have agreed with some others saying it sounds a bit selfish they can get married when they etc etc.

But right now I feel your pain a bit. I asked 2 closest friends ot be BMs. Neither married, both in long term realtionships. We all also want to buy houses, they both chose to try for houses first so I'm the only one engaged. One of them now though has basically got amazingly lucky and her OH family have put money to one side for a house deposit and now shes found out they also have a wedding fund! So she's pinning stuff on pinterest, pricing up castle wedding venues (she used ot say she'd have a very modest low budget wedding...) and isn't even engaged. I realise I'm being a total bridezilla and feel terrible, but I'm feeling grumpy that shes focusing on her own wedding when she's not even engaged still when it's supposed to be my time. I can see her getting engaged soon then getting married just before us or something annoying. But maybe I'd find it less annoying if it was at least official and she was engaged?

Sadly, I think there's nothing that can be done for either of us, just have to accept they can get married when they want. Can always use it for research in your case - take all the best ideas from their weddings and include it in yours

I think you need to tell your friend how you feel, she is probably so absorbed in the wedding planning that she is completely oblivious to how her attitude/behaviour is hurtful and impacting on her friendships. Sadly, not all of us have the skills of self-awareness and wedding planning does tend to turn each of us a bit crazy at one point or another.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.Also, we're happy to hear your plans. Despite some of the responses everyone hear is usually really friendly and supportive.

Oooft, harsh comments from people. But hey it's a bunch of girls together, one bitchy comment and it's open house to everyone else!

I liked key the idea someone said about having a joint hen night, makes total sense to me. Surround yourself with people who are positive and happy, not with negative people.

Hope it all works out for you

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