Bridesmaids or no bridesmaids ?

Hi Jess.


We're having a small wedding of around 30/35 guests and I'm not having bridesmaids. We're just not bothered about all those forced formalities.
However I will ask our three young nieces to be flower girls as think it'll be lovely for them to dress like a princess for a day and have a role in our wedding.

Bridesmaids are personal preference.
I have close female friendships so it was a no brainer to have bridesmaids.

Each to their own ?

As with the poster above, I am having my three nieces (ages 7, 6 and 3 at the time of the wedding) as bridesmaids, but no adults at all. That's my choice as all my sisters are older than me and so are any friends I consider close enough.

As far as I know, bridesmaids are there to assist the bride - so as long as you have someone on hand to (for example) hold your bouquet then you don't need them! I'm sure my nieces will be having far too much fun to help me out, but that's fine by me

Thank you ladies! I have two friends i am quite close to but they don’t know each other or my family so I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable but I don’t want them to feel left out either !we don’t want a traditional wedding but people think it’s strange if I don’t have bridesmaids! That sounds like a lovely idea for youngsters of the family sadly we don’t have any !I’ll have my mum as my right hand women if I need any help ?

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I'd say don't have any. Don't do anything just because its custom. I'd say if you have to force the idea or ponder on it for more than 5 mins the you (secretly) already know the answer. l've chosen not to have any friends do it because I want my friends to enjoy the wedding. Though I have very dear friends who I would call on - Instead I'm getting my stepdaughter and my daughter who are the same age to do it. They'll both be 8 by then. (I chose this because they will always in my life and in a way it's like they're marrying each other as new siblings, without sounding cynical friends come and go) But in the end who cares what people think is strange, covid wedding have proved to me that all that matters is your love. If you want to get married in your house and only have 4 people (covid scenario) and have your guests on zoom - you bloody well can love. Love and blessings your way xxx

Personally I’m not having them. I moved away from home two years ago and neither of my “best friends” have made much of an effort since, even when I’ve visited my home town. I have new friends here but feel like I haven’t known them long enough to ask them. We don’t have anything to do with my OHs family, so his niece is out of the question.


I don’t mind this at all as we are getting married abroad. Just make sure you do what makes YOU comfortable. I would be reluctant to have anyone in my wedding party who isn’t going to be a part of my life for a very long time

If you have to think about whether or not to have bridesmaids then you probably shouldn't have them!

I didn't have any - I couldn't choose between my closest friends and if I'd had all of them, we'd have had almost as many people in the wedding party as in the rest of the congregation!

I'm not having them. I have some really fab girl friends but having done the bridesmaid thing myself (and completely hating it) I didn't want to put them through it. We're not very traditional though. Instead my two best friends will just be on-hand if I need them, but not in any official capacity. Less stress and less money!

It's second time round for me. First time, I didn't have any bridesmaids and it was fine.

This time, I've asked 3 friends - one has been brilliant and asking what she can do, asking about what I want to do for a hen do, what colour dresses etc, offering to pay for hers etc. The other two have absolutely zero interest at all and haven't asked anything about it!

In hindsight, if I could rewind I wouldn't bother again and save some money.

I’m not having any and I think it’s a really old fashioned outdated concept. I was one for my friend and I hated every second of it and I’d never ask my so called best friend to do it and put them through all that crap!

Do whatever makes you happy! I was originally going to have 5 but it became overwhelming so I decided to have a maid of honour and that’s it. Your friends will want to help and support your whether they are in the “official” wedding party or not, you can still ask for their help. Sounds like you know what will make you happy so stand by your decision, it’s your day ?

I'm having 4 - 1 MOH, 2 adult bridesmaids, 1 flower girl.


I agonised over the decision and it was one of the more stressful parts of wedding planning for me but I'm really glad I asked who I did, they have all been so supportive and I can't wait to have them standing with me on the day.
To me bridesmaids were really important for moral support in the run up to the wedding and planning, hen do, getting ready together, and on the day having someone to help with my dress, bouquet, etc. More than that though it was about having a close knit support group and sharing my special day.
That being said if bridesmaids aren't important to you, it's just a tradition there is no obligation to follow it. We're not doing the tradition of having a wedding cake and doing the cake cutting because it's not important to us... You will still have a great day regardless!

Hi,
I’m not having bridesmaids. It’s not a tradition that I’m particularly bothered about. My mum and sister will be there to help me get ready on the day and I have a lot of lovely friends who I would struggle to choose between. It also saves money and hassle. It’s individual choice though.

Hi Jess

For what it's worth, I was one of two bridesmaids for a friend and did not know the other bridesmaid prior to wedding planning etc. It was absolutely fine as the other bridesmaid was lovely. You know your friends - are they the type of people that are easy to talk to, usually get on with everyone etc? If the answer is yes I'd definitely ask my two friends. I've got 6 bridesmaids and I couldn't imagine not involving them in my decisions, they have been amazing. It has made the process even more special.

Good luck x

You do you! If you don’t want any bridesmaids then don’t, if you want just one, two, three, or a hundred then it’s completely up to you. This is your day, so do what you want!



I’m only having two bridesmaids, then my SIL (who’s 35 haha) and my niece (3yrs) are flower girls. We know that usually it’s your younger relatives who are flower girls but so what!

You’ll only have a wedding once, so enjoy it all and don’t listen to the rules!

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I agree with you. Traditionally the bridesmaids were there to carry the train of the bride's dress but these days we tend to do it the American way with the Bridesmaids entering first and the bride last.