Bridesmaids presents

You can buy/not buy whatever you want! Just because it's tradition it doesnt mean it has to happen. It's tradition for the Bride's family to pay for the wedding but my family aren't putting a penny in. I am paying for my bridesmaid's dresses but if they want their hair and make up doing they are paying for it themselves.

Try not to get too caught up on what is expected and just do what you can afford xx

I have paid for the flowers for the whole wedding party, including the bridesmaids' bouquets and the groomsmen's buttonholes. I am having a younger flower girl and a younger ring bearer, we will be buying their dress and suit to match as well.

I would perhaps speak to your bridesmaids and work out together who is paying for what. If for example you aren't paying for their hair and make up you need to be prepared for them to decide not to get their hair and make up done professionally. I kind of see it as if you want them to wear a specific thing/have their hair and make up done, then you should pay for it (i'm not buying my bridesmaids their shoes, I've just said they can wear whichever shoes they feel most comfortable in)

On the other hand, I am a bridesmaid at two weddings in the next year, one bride has decided she is paying for everything for us and the other is still deciding what she is paying for so I am expecting to pay for some of the things i'll need x

It's not custom to pay for or gift people anything at all! There is a certain pressure these days, where you feel the need to gift your bridesmaid or best man (wedding party or whatever) and offer to cover the cost of things like dresses, hair and make up, jewellery etc. But I promise it is not a "custom" and it's not something that should be expected of a Bride & Groom from the get go.

It's entirely down to you what you chose to pay or not pay for. It doesn't make you wrong if you don't want to pay for things and it doesn't make you right if you do want to.

Personally for me, I have chosen to pay for my Bridesmaids dresses, hair, make up and will gift them some jewellery to wear on the day. A large part of that, is that when my older sister got married, she did the exact same thing. So I felt compelled to cover everything for her (plus my other bridesmaids) as it felt fair.

However, I'm not covering their accommodation, and if they opt for a make up or hair trial, they are paying for that themselves, as it's all optional.

But regardless of what anyone else thinks is right or wrong, you do what feels right and comfortable for you. Weddings are an expensive thing, don't feel pressured into spending money on things you don't think you should have to.

Bets option is to have an honest talk with your wedding party and talk about what you would like to spend or not spend etc. If they are close to you, they should be understanding and willing to help figure a plan out, that keeps everyone happy.

I’ve bought my bridesmaids dresses, but they are getting their own accessories because I don’t mind if they match or not.

I’m paying for their hair, but not their makeup. I didn’t want to pay for both and felt that wedding hair is harder than makeup, but I made sure they were happy with this first.

For gifts, I’m giving my bridesmaids and my mum a personalised champagne flute with miniature bottle of Prosecco, and then the bridesmaids are also getting a necklace and my mum is getting a new perfume. None of that is expected though.

I’ve been a bridesmaid several times - I’ve usually been given jewellery as a thank you, but one time I got nothing and didn’t even think about it until I was planning my own wedding and trying to remember what gifts I’d been given previously! So clearly I didn’t care at the time.

I'm paying for the bridesmaid dresses, hair, makeup and pyjamas to get ready in. I'm currently debating if the pyjamas can double up as a present as they're quite expensive and could easily be worn again (they don't have 'bridesmaid' on the back, for example). I have asked them what suitable shoes they already have. If I decide to get the bridesmaids an additional present, it will probably be Polish vodka! This is my own personal opinion, but if I were a bridesmaid and was paying for everything myself I would hope for some sort of thank you gift more than if I were a bridesmaid and someone else was paying for my dress, hair, makeup etc, so that might be something to consider. Others may disagree though!

It is tradition to buy the bridesmaid dresses, so I would advising not just assuming the bridesmaids will pay for them themselves, but it is a lot more common nowadays to ask the bridesmaids if they will pay. Lots of people who ask the bridesmaids to pay give them a bit more freedom with the choice of the dresses e.g. just specifying a particular colour and letting them each pick a style.

You certainly don't have to pay for hair and makeup! Not even all brides have professional hair and makeup.Just be aware that the bridesmaids may decide to do their own rather than hire a professional.

I notice you've asked further down about if you have to pay for the bridemaid's flowers. I would definitely say yes to this. I think (although I may be wrong) that most bridesmaids would be quite taken aback to be asked to pay for the flowers.

I hope this helps!

The main rule is you pay for anything you require - so that's usually bridesmaid's dresses and bouquets at mininum. Lots of people do pay for hair and make up, but again only if they're requiring it. It's very normal to pay for one of the two, or neither, and then offer bridesmaids to opt in to pay for themselves or do their own hair and/or make up if they'd rather not pay. Some people additionally pay for "getting ready" outfits because they like the look of these in photos.

None of these things are classed as a gift though - because they are ultimately being purchased for the wedding aesthetic not as a gift.

The most common bridesmaids gifts I've seen are nice quality jewellery (Monica Viander is quite popular) or goodie bags with things like a bottle of prosecco, nice candle, perfume, beauty products, etc.

Bridesmaids often put in a lot of work to support the bride and often cover the cost of the bride for the hen do, so I think it's important to budget to get them something nice (even though weddings are expensive as is!!) because everything else is for you whereas this is just for them to say thank you.

Other things you mentioned - all flowers should be covered by the couple/be part of the wedding budget (so bouquets, buttonholes, decorative florals) but it's not expected that mums will recieve a bouquet. I've decided to get a floral corsage for our mums and FSIL though as the dads will have buttonholes and my brother is in my bridal party so I wanted all our immediate family to have something. Groomsmen/best man is the same as bridesmaids and you should pay for their suits unless you are happy for them to wear whatever they like. It's often nice to gift the parents something, it could be a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers or a bigger thing - it's kind of a judgement call and you might want to gift them more if they are contributing significantly to the wedding budget.

I've never heard of the groom's family paying for the bride's dress here. Actually, it's fairly unusual for the groom's family to chip in much at all, though they might offer to put some money behind the bar or pay for something specific like the photographer. Traditionally the bride's family would contribute significantly towards the meal or venue or something, but it's not at all expected these days. The best advice is to assume you're paying for everything and take any offers to contribute as a bonus.

It's not customary to buy or give gifts to anyone! There is a pressure these days to give gifts to your best man or bridesmaid (or wedding party or whatever) and offer to pay for things like clothes, jewellery, hair and makeup, etc. But I can assure you that it is not a "tradition" and shouldn't be expected of a bride and groom right away.

I noticed you're in Texas and I just wanted to point out for Andreea (so that she's not confused) that one of the biggest differences betweeen UK and US weddings is that in the UK it very much is tradition for the bride to pay for the bridesmaid clothes, whereas in the US it isn't. Whilst more brides are asking their bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses here now, this definitely wouldn't just be assumed.

I've noticed so many other differences that I never knew about when looking at other forums! It's certainly very interesting!