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Beginner March 2018

Bridesmaids - should you choose sisters or friends?

Travellingbride2b, 14 July, 2017 at 20:05 Posted on Planning 0 4

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I am sure this is a topic that has been overly discussed in this fourm, but what do you do about choosing bridesmaids.

Bascially I have 4 sisters, who I love dearly. I am not close to all of them though, and feel that if I had one or two of them, I'd have to ask them all.

BUT, I have asked two of my close friends already and really want them, so if I asked all my sisters I'd have 6, which feels like a huge number, espeically as we are only have 60-70 at the sit down (maybe 100 at the ceremony).

Part of me feels like it is the right thing to do asking my sisters. We were all recently together for a family celebration, and it was nice being with them, but frustrating too - they all take a horrendous amount of time getting ready, and all 4 of them were late getting to the venue for the event we were attending, which stressed me out so much.

So I am all over the place!

To top it off, I have had a friend ASK me to be a bridesmaid, but I fobbed her off saying I'd be having my sisters but hadn't fully decided. We have been friends for years, but she would honestly stress me out on the day!

Now I am in a pickle as I feel that I may have to take back my word on my two close friends and have my sisters, or have all 6, or just the two friends - but what do I say to the other friend? I know she'd get really bitchy with me if she knew I was having the friends I am having.

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Latest activity by HappyBlueCars582, 16 July, 2017 at 08:49

Beginner September 2017
SomethingBlue11 · 14 July, 2017 at 20:23
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Speaking as someone with no sisters AND no bridesmaids (so really notch qualified to answer!) I would say you have to go all or nothing with the sisters, preferably all rather than nothing just as I think they might be hurt as it's usually expected for sisters to be bridesmaids.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having 6, I was at a wedding last weekend and there was 6, one was her sister, 2 cousins and friends so I think it's fine.

I think if if there's a friend you really don't want to be a bridesmaid then don't, but maybe be prepared to potentially lose her as a friend.

If if you don't want to cause arguments then let her be a bridesmaid but maybe assign another bridesmaid to make sure she doesn't stress you out!!
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Beginner April 2018
RomanticBlueCakes716 · 14 July, 2017 at 21:44
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My partner has 4 brothers and we said from the start we didn't want a huge bridal party so only one brother was asked to be best man and one friend as grooms man. We intend to keep everything small and as relaxed as possible, and keep costs down as well, we just didn't have the budget to suit and boot all his brothers, so having a huge bridal party just wasn't what we wanted. His other brothers were not even remotely bothered, some actually glad they could just enjoy the day and not be doing jobs! Go with your gut instinct and don't worry about anyone else.
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Beginner October 2018
Meg101 · 15 July, 2017 at 09:00
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I don't have any sisters but I do have a future sister in law. For me it came down to who would be most reliable and also close to both me and my fiance.
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Beginner May 2018
HappyBrownConfetti849 · 15 July, 2017 at 09:54
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You can choose what you want, someone will disagree regardless.

With sisters it's impolite to "cherry pick" but have you actually asked them what they want to do,? Are they expecting to be bridesmaids? My cousins were surprised when I asked them -even though I have no sisters or close friends.

It sounds like you'd prefer your friends to be bridesmaids, so why not do that and just see if your sisters are happy helping you out?

Or explain that you want to keep the bridal party small (for budget reasons? ) and wouldn't feel right asking some sisters without the others

With the "bitchy" friend, she's just going to have to get over it, maybe explain how you feel? "You're a drama queen and I really don't need that during planning and on the day" or "I'm sorry, I only need two bridesmaids" it's a bit presumptuous to just ask outright anyway.
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