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Beginner November 2020

Budget Worries

HappyBlueFlowers8305, 27 January, 2020 at 16:01 Posted on Planning 0 1

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Hi Everyone,

I got engaged quite recently and as I'm getting married while still at university budget is a constant worry. My parents have generously offered to contribute but won't say to what or what amount. Right now I'm at the wedding planning stage where I worry that I can't afford to get married and should just stay engaged until I find a job and can save up for a wedding.

Has anyone else been at the 'oh-no-I-can't-afford-this stage and if so what did you do to calm down and get back to earth? Am feeling a blend of worried and disappointed right now. My fiancé said he would sell his motorcycle but I'm worried that he'd never really get over it. I don't want that hanging over our marriage. I offered to return my engagement ring but he won't hear of it. I know it's technically possible to just get married in your regular clothes and not have a party or invite anyone but I've only been dreaming of my wedding day my entire life! (not to mention that my parents would be sad that they weren't invited or given the opportunity to help/be there) We're already trying to keep it relatively small at 25 guests with a buffet dinner only, no flowers, no cake, no music etc. But some guests on his side (family only at these numbers of course!) have already said they can't be bothered to come if we don't put on a 'proper' wedding...

Feeling so stressed right now but don't have any bridesmaids to vent to (because I can't afford to buy them matching dresses or flowers or have a hen do etc.) so was hoping other brides have tips on how they overcame stressful planning moments. I know the wedding is just that and it's being married that I look forward to of course. But that doesn't mean I don't want it to be as nice as we can afford!

thanks and congrats on your engagements/weddings everyone!

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Latest activity by HappyBlueCars582, 18 February, 2020 at 18:17

VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 17 February, 2020 at 17:58
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First of all, I'd ask your parents how much they are planning on contributing. It's not as if you are begging for money - they've said they want to give you something. So just explain that you are working out a budget and that it would help to know what you can expect from them.

Second, weddings really don't have to be that expensive! One of my friends has just offered to make our cake as her gift to us, but before that, I was looking at a £16 supermarket one! Flowers - again, if you can't afford to get a florist bouquet, just buy a bunch from a supermarket - Tesco do some fab ones for around £5 and if you took the wrapping off and tied a ribbon round the stems, no one would ever know.

As for bridesmaids, why not ask the girls you'd like to have if they would be willing to be your bridesmaids in dresses they choose and pay for themselves. Do you have any friends who are great at hair and makeup who could help? Or people who are great at catering who could contribute something toward your reception as their gift to you?

Have a girls' night in with DVDs and takeaway for your hen do. Or play silly board games. Or go for a 'get in shape for the wedding' walk and a coffee. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Hire a local community hall for your wedding reception and get people to contribute food, decorations etc as their wedding gift.

As for the relatives who won't come unless it's a 'proper' wedding - are they coming to support you or to enjoy an expensive party? Because you want people around you who will support you in this huge commitment you are making, and to be honest, they don't sound that supportive. In your place, I'd scrap guests with attitude like this and invite some REAL friends!
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Rockstar June 2020
HappyBlueCars582 · 18 February, 2020 at 18:17
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Personally speaking I’m of the opinion that if you can’t afford to do it the way you want to do it then don’t do it until you can afford it.
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