Can he give me away??

I don't think anyone would look on your son as giving you away, more just walking with you down the aisle which I think would be very cute and might take their eyes off you ?

Thats a really lovely way to involve your little boy. Soo cute!!

I agree with debs and think it would look nice

I think there might be some legality involved..... not sure..... who would be your witnesses??

My cousin's son gave her away, but he was 11 at the time. I think 2.5 might be a problem. Would he be able to say his line in the right place?

As I understand it there is no legal requirement to be 'given away'. It is purely 'ceremonial' - just like the exchanging of rings, having bridesmaids, singing hymns etc. The only part which consitutes the legal forming of a marriage is the making of declarations that you wish to be married to each other, and there is no lawful impediment to this (e.g. already married, closely related etc).

So yes - you could. But ... what is the symbolic/emotional 'meaning' behind the 'giving away' for you? For most people, whether given away by a parent, bother, child or other family member, it is generally about passing from one family to another, and/or a sign of the person who 'gives you away' supporting the forming of your new family. It is generally the fact that it 'means something' to the person who does the 'giving away' that makes it important/special - and a 2.5 year old may be a little young to understand that concept!

The witnesses who will sign the register are Chief Bridesmaid and Best Man. I think it is very important to include him in the ceremony in some way as his sisters are both bridesmaids. It dont matter about the traditional significance of the person who gives you away to us we just want our son involved and to have him give me away is the perfect way. Its true he may not speak when he has too but to be honest all the person who gives you away says is 'I Do' after asked 'Who gives this lady to be married' or something along those lines. And I am also not worried about him taking the 'eyes' of me as for us this is a family day and not just MY day.

I think i will have to double check with our registrar and make sure it is ok. If not then he will still walk in with me.

Can he not just be a pageboy?

Am not sure if he can give you away as such, but it would be so lovely for him to walk you down the aisle! But like others have said you don't have to have anyone give you away or walk you down the aisle - my friend walked down on her own as she's a feminist and doesn't beleive that people have the right to give other people away!

We had a civil ceremony, my Dad walked me down the aisle and he didn't have any part in the ceremony at all - he just literally walked me in and then sat down.

It probably depends on where you live and your registrar, they alll seem to have different rules and regulations depending on the district you live in.

Zippy, in answer to your question 'Can he just be a pageboy'.....NO he cant as i want him to play more of an important part.

I like the idea of him walking in with me and even if there is some 'legal' twist which means he cant give me away, theoretically he still will be as he will be the one at my side as i walk down the aisle.

Ok a couple of suggestions - i don't think legally you have to have anyone giving you away. one of my friends walked down the aisle by herself as her father had died, and didn't want anyone else to take his place.

i have to say, i agree with milna in that the 'giving away' tradition is the 'passing over' of the bride from her family to her groom, and so it would seem a bit strange if that was your son, especially if he was your son together?.

if you're not that bothered about that traditional significance (like you say you aren't) then why ask your son to give you away? why not give him the role of pageboy, but accompanying you down the aisle? to me that is just as important as being a bridesmaid, which is the role you've given your daughters...

Couldn't have put it better!

It doesn't matter what title you give him, you just want him walking down the aisle with you. He's your son so is obviously going to be part of the day.

I want my son to give me away I dont want him to be JUST a page boy and personally I think its more of an important role. When I said i wasnt bothered about the traditional sigificance I was referring to the actual reasons behind why the person gives you away. Its those traditional reasons Im not bothered about but still want to be walked down the aisle and given away.

And sorry if this sounds like Im moaning but there are other posts on here which mention peoples sons giving them away, fair enough the ones i have read are 11 and 14 but no-one comments on those and says Why cant he just be a page boy!!!

I guess I will just have to mention it to our registrar and like I have already said if there is some legal jargon that will not enable him to 'give me away' then he will still walk in with me,so in my eyes he will still be giving me away xx

I don't think anyone is telling you that you 'can't' do it!

Legally - no problem it seems, as its not a legal issue. Your mate, or my cat, or a turnip 'could' do it.

In terms of his actual ability to say the required words and give his support to your marriage - which is, essentially, what 'giving away' is understood to mean - this is something that an 11/14 year old may be capable of emotionally and consciuously understanding, and a 2.5 year old may not! Of course your 2.5 year old can walk down the aisle with you (which would be normal fir both a page boy, and person giving a bride away, and bridesmaid too), and be asked the question 'Do you give this woman to this man' (to which he may or may not be able to give a meaningful response). And whether or not his response is meaningful may or may not matter to you! Go go ahead, do it, and enjoy it - there is NOTHING wrong with doing that - and indeed it is what you should do if it is what you want! Nobody is trying to upset you, or offend you - I think merely raising the 'notion' that a 2 year old may not 'be capable' of 'giving away' in the usual understanding applied to this tradition! But weddings are all about doing what you want and what is meaningful and makes sense to you - we are flouting/reinventing a number of 'traditons' with ours.

I think I will withdraw now anyway, as to appear to be taking offence at replies! Please don't!

I am by no means taking offence at replies, Im glad of the suggestions and advice. But to be honest certain comments like 'Why ask him to give you away' and 'Cant he just be page boy' when i have already explained just annoy me slightly.

I completely agree.

A girl I work with got married last almost 2 weeks ago and they have a yound son about the same age as yours, she wanted a "more" important role for him that page boy so decided to give him the title of "Guest of Honour"...could this be an option?

Hmmm. I completely get where you are coming from in your position io would feel the same, my only concern would be how literally small children take things, I think my 3 year old would secretly fret that I was no longer his.

How about phrasing it differently, asking him to be your escort and to present you to be married.

As the words are not a legality I'm sure you could get the registar to ask "Who presents helend72 to be married"

What do you think?

I don't know if this is just in Scotland but our registrar gave us the option of including the bit about asking who gives this person to be married. It doesn't seem to be a vital or legal part of the ceremony up here.

Mr E and I walked down the aisle together so nobody 'gave' me away in that sense.

We had a little one when we got married and I wanted him to be more important than just a page boy as well.He didn't give me away but he did have the rings which is quite important and he was remaned as the 'little best man'.He worew a kilt like the wedding party and he made a killing from various aunts who were all slipping 50ps and £1's in his sporan while telling him he was georgous. Think his mom said he made about £30.

If you want him to give you away go for it - its your wedding after all if your other half is in favour go for it.

Hi

My son will be seven when I get married, my dad will walk me down the aisle (civil ceremony) and my son will have the role of ring bearer. I went to give notice last week and they said that this was the nicest way to include him in the ceremony as he has an important role in carrying the rings. Knowing my son though he is rather shy and he will probably want to hold my hand, so I will pobably be linking my dad and holding his hand, which is fine with me.

His suit is identical to my h2b, he is having a smaller version of h2b corsage, so we feel he is included as much as possible. I wouldn't want to pressure him into having to say a line in the right place or something like that. So this way we are all happy.

I also feel the role of pageboy is equally as important as bridesmaids.

If you want him to walk you down the aisle then go for it, he will look really cute.

JM

Debs and Tilly....

They sound like very good ideas...thanks so much xx