Can your sexuality change?

What I often wonder ( and I'm sure I will word this really badly and it will sound offensive, it's not meant to ) what is the thought process or attraction of a lesbian who is in a relationship with a very butch woman. I'm talking the type that actually dress like men. Maybe I'm just attracted to girly girls and manly men but it confuses me.

Why does it shock you? Why do you feel it is important to tell your parents who you have had sex with? (ultimately that's how I see it hence why I told mine in the context of I am getting married)

I think you do generally have feeling one way or another looking back I can see I had them when I was young although did not recognise what they are at the time.

I found it very hard in my teens, my feelings created a real self loathing and my perception of body image really knocked my confidence,

I would be looking at men thinking he looks fitter than me, his hair is better than mine, his clothes are better, his skin is nicer, his eyes are nicer etc etc oblivious to the fact it was just sexual attraction. Add the fact that my distinct lack of coping off with girls (I think I expected girls to just fall at my feet without having to spark some sexual chemistry) I just felt like such an ugly munter destined for a life of loneliness, poor me! ?

I honestly have no idea but would love to know the answer!

They like vaguely masculine characteristics, but prefer them attached to a fanny?

My best friend hasn't come out to his dad. He is 70ish Greek traditional man My poor friend is haunted by being in a car with his dad years ago, and hearing somebody on the radio mention something about being gay, and his dad muttering under his breath "if I ever had a gay son, I'd disown him".

It breaks his heart, and they are such a close knit family. I can't imagine my friend's dad would actually remove his son from his life, but my friend feels he can't take the risk. His older brother, who is also gay, has been living with his boyfriend for a few years, masquerading to his family as the flatmate, and neither just feel the need to officially come out to their dad, and feel like they can't take the risk.

Makes me feel so so lucky for having the parents I do, where the ultimate joy in their lives is seeing their kids being happy.

When my cousin came out (which was no surprise to most of us - she'd had a couple of long-term female flat mates, whom she holidayed with and brought along to family occasions), her Dad phoned my Mum, in tears, and announced he had some bad news. My Mum thought (very reasonably) that someone had died. I won't write here what her reply was when she found out what it was really about.

You should have posted nearly nekkid pics of yourself in skimpy pants showing off a tattoo....oh wait.... ??

good point- again if you are straight is it easier to be open about who you are boffing because its the "expected?"

I am happy to talk about who i'm boffing to anyone that will listen, just not my parents.

I wouldn't talk to my mom about my sex life either!

I'm 100% with you on this Bea, I like womanly women and manly men.

In response to the OP, I think that sexuality is fluid, for sure.

EF you have summed up how I feel exactly. And another one whom likes manly men and girly girls. MEchanics and milk maids for me?

Yeh, I like girly girls and manly men. Although my ex was a bit butch when we met, but by the time we broke up she was a lot less so! My hubby is a big hairy man. I generally don't go for men who are same size as me, I like the snuggliness of someone bigger!

I think there might be something genetic that means some people are more influenced by nurture than others or are simply more 'fluid' in their chemical reactions to sexual stimuli.

As a teenager (11-15) I worried that I was gay because I didn't fancy boys so must fancy girls. I'm not. I just didn't know any boys to fancy. I also thought I was generally weird or abnormal, like a lot of teens I guess. I figured that if I was weird anyway it was likely I'd also be gay. (Must point out that I don't think being gay is weird now, it seemed like it was back then).

I would like to feel another woman's breasts to see if they feel different to my own and to try to figure out why some men like breasts so much.

Funky - As a teacher I hear young teenagers constantly saying 'don't be gay' or 'you gay' to each other (boys to boys). I try to explain why this is unacceptable but I'm not sure they even make the connection, to them it is just a word which means someone being whiny or difficult. I do think that this use of the word would put many teens off of 'coming out' at school. It certainly suggests that all your peers think being gay is bad.