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Curious July 2023 East Central London

Cancel big white wedding to elope in vegas?

Honey, 30 January, 2023 at 14:17 Posted on Planning 0 5
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Did anyone get so stressed with planning a big wedding that they decided to just call it off and elope?


I’m so tempted. I don’t have any true friends who have supported me throughout the wedding, so most guests will be on my fiancé’s side or all his mums guests. My real dad isn’t attending because he doesn’t like weddings. The stress and organisation is becoming too much.
The only reason I wanted the big white home wedding was so my family could attend, including my gran who is so excited she’s even becoming a bit too involved… but now I’m seriously leaning towards a stress free elopement. Away from family politics and “do I invite this fake friend” queries.
Trouble is, I’ve already paid too much into this wedding to completely back out. I’d have to keep the venue as a big after party and I’d still want to wear my dress in front of everyone. So is there any point just doing the ceremony as an elopement or do I continue with it all as normal? I’m so done with it all and how everyone tries to dictate how it’s run, and also how friends true colours have been shown!

5 replies

Latest activity by Melissa, 31 January, 2023 at 19:14
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    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    You're day = whatever makes you happy!

    How does your fiance feel? If you're both feeling like you'd rather elope, do that and turn your venue into a celebratory party!

    Equally, whatabout going down to your local registry office with a couple of witnesses to get legally married and take the pressure off that day. Then you can have a "blessing" ceremony at your wedding (or just the reception if you'd rather of course). The "blessing" ceremonies are becoming more and more popular with people wanting to get married in unusal/non-legal venues or have friends/familiy members officiate which isn't legal in the UK.

    I would say, maybe give yourself a no wedding talk week. Just shut it out as much as you can, regroup, enjoy life, and then return with a fresh head before rushing into a decision to change plans.

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  • H
    Curious July 2023 East Central London
    Honey ·
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    Thank you so much for your advice!


    The problem is; we’ve already sent out invitations and booked our honeymoon for las vegas. So a big part of me thinks we’ve gone in too far to change it now! My fiancé would’ve loved an elopement from the start - but he went with what I wanted most as I was adamant about having my family there. Now I’m just too stressed to care! Weddings are such hard work!
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    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Weddings are stressful for sure - I can see you're a July 2023 bride and as soon as it hit 2023 aka "wedding year" I've felt myself really get into a stress spiral! I think it's because you send out invites, you suddenly start paying the big bills, vendors are asking you for final decisions on things with deadlines looming... it's intense! I was speaking to a friend who's a June 2023 bride just yesterday and she's feeling exactly the same!

    FH and I have starting doing "prosecco and planning" or "pub and planning" sessions where we try to focus on a specific wedding goal/decision e.g. this weekend we did ceremony wording, which is helping us step back and not get so overwhelmed with everything we still have to sort out, it's very easy for it to feel like it takes over your entire life otherwise!

    Family politics and guest list decisions are always going to cause a headache. All I can say is remember that it's your day not theirs. Of course, try to avoid arguments where you can, but don't let yourself get walked all over - this is a day that you and your fiance will remember with the most clarity, it will fade much more as a memory for everyone else, so do what makes you happiest.

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    Curious July 2023 East Central London
    Honey ·
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    You are so right, it’s all just becoming overwhelming which is probably the cause of my second thoughts! I think it’s normal to just meltdown at times. I hope your planning is going well. You should be a wedding counsellor, you have got advice!
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    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Aww I'm glad to have helped!! Smiley smile

    I definitely think it's normal to get overwhelmed at times - just take a deep breath and a step back - you got this and I hope it's all worth it in the end!

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