Help! We've reached an impasse.
After seven years together, back in October I asked my GF to marry me, and she said "yes definitely". It's what we've both wanted for many years, but now the time is right.
It'll be second-time around for both of us (we're both pushing 50), we're both extremely happy and have both known for many years that we have got it right this time 
However.
We cannot agree on HOW to get married. We both have very different ideas as to what constitutes a 'small wedding.'
I really don't want a wedding. I want a marriage. I've already had one big wedding 25 years ago, and I'm old-fashioned enough to think that they're once-in-a-lifetime deals and I would be being deceitful to all the guests that came to the first one. Sorry, but that's how I feel. You only get one Big Day as far as I'm concerned. So I would much rather she and I just popped into the local registry office with a couple of witnesses and had an amazing fortnight's honeymoon somewhere.
She, however, wants wedding dresses, bridesmaids, flowers, pretty gardens, photographer, sit-down meal for everyone...
By way of compromise, we've agreed to keep it small - just very close family, and no friends. So that means 12 people including bride and groom. It hardly seems worthwhile having a 'wedding' for 12 people who are all family. It just doesn't make sense to me.
Whenever the subject arises, we get upset and go off in respective huffs. It is a very important matter to both of us, but in different ways. All the trappings of a wedding day are not important to me - but they are to her. In more than seven years together, we've never had an issue that's caused us so much stress. We cannot find a compromise that makes sense.
So, do I just cave-in, let her have her way and go with the flow, knowing that I will not enjoy a 12-person wedding day?
ANY advice on what to do gratefully received.