Can't make my mind Up!!!!!! Birmingham/nottingham or Ireland?????

Ignoring everyone else's opinions (it's rubbish that you have to get married in your home town), is there any one location that stands out to you? You seem to have 'set your heart' on a venue in all three locations, so it's difficult to know if there is one that is standing out above the others.

If there isn't, then I think it comes down to price and convenience. It is much easier to plan a wedding nearer where you are currently living (unless it is in a location to which you travel frequently anyway). The venue in Ireland may be cheaper, but if you are going to have to make multiple trips there purely to wedding-plan, then that will up the cost.

Another thing to bear in mind is your guest list - which location is most convenient for the majority? If a lot of people are going to have to travel a long distance, is there reasonably priced accommodation near the venue? And probably most important, if you have any elderly or disabled guests, are they going to manage to travel to your chosen venue? If there is someone whose age or health would limit their ability to travel, then you really need to pick the venue that's easiest for them.

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Hi there,

Thank you for your comments.

Your right - I have had my heart set on all 3 of them once i was there until i went to the next, price plays a big factor as i have quite high and expensive taste. I actually work in the industry and see alot of things from each wedding to the next which i say ''i want that at my wedding''

Ireland isn't a million miles away at the end of the day and those relatives that may be elder i could always organise someone to drive, even myself?

I want to get the opinion of those who have organised something away from their town and the prep it takes. I have cousins in Ireland who have got married in the previous years, and even one next year who i know will all have many contacts for me if needed. I think because of everything with COVID alot of venues and businesses have a lot of flexibility now in regards to zoom calls and i believe this could work in my favour.

I have guests coming **hopefully** from all areas of the UK, (Birmingham/Nottingham/Manchester/Cornwall/Southampton) including those family members in Ireland and surrounding areas of Kilkenny so everyone would have to travel somewhat or another.

Its something me and my partner are yet to discuss in detail but until then i appreciate the words and comments from the Hitched Community.

Saying that you should get married in your home town is rubbish in my opinion unless you have strong connections or want a church wedding in your family church or something. I was born and brought up in a small town in East Yorkshire, went to uni in Manchester and have now settled in Surrey. I have chosen Surrey as that’s where I live and work and my venue is 20 minutes away. Family and friends are coming from all over even Scotland so people will travel if they are serious about attending and have enough notice.
Regarding the visiting of the venue we have only physically been twice in the process, once for the first site visit and again for menu tasting. We had a virtual tour in lockdown too.
We only live 20 mins away so could go anytime but my point is we haven’t needed to, the venue communicate really well by phone and email and send photos of things if I want to see what stuff looks like so Ireland could work for you if you can cope with not being there! To me the Birmingham venue sounds very expensive too for what you are getting. I would canvass opinion with relatives and friends about the prospect of travel though.Good luck!

I would check with your elderly/frail relatives (any who are 'must have' guests I mean) about the travel before booking. Depending on age/frailty, it might not be enough just to organise a driver - just travelling as a passenger can be exhausting. Obviously, if you don't have anyone in this category, then ignore, but I know a lady in her 90s whose great granddaughter chose a wedding venue 5 hours away and who is now very upset that great gran isn't coming to the wedding. She hadn't realised that, for a lady in her 90s, a 5 hour drive, even as a passenger, plus an overnight stay, was too much.

You can do a lot of planning long-distance as you say. If you are someone who is happy with that (I know a lot of people still like to do their meetings in person) then it is totally workable to do long-distance. At the end of the day, it comes down to venue + cost. Hang in there - it will gradually become clear where your heart is!

Those barn venues are indeed very expensive. We looked around Birmingham and went for the hotel du vin in the city centre. It's an old Victorian hospital with lots of character and a wide menu. Was 500gbp for room hire and lots space for canapes and drink afterwards.

To be honest... I'd go Ireland! If you're only planning on 60 guests, and they're all over the place regardless, that 60 probably covers your nearest and dearest who will be up for making a trip almost anywhere as opposed to the more periphery friends/family who might not bother.

Ireland's not too expensive to fly to either, so as long as it's a Saturday wedding at a good time of year to visit and your not asking your guests to take off a lot of annual leave, I definitely think I'd prefer to make a trip to Ireland which feels a bit more exciting

In terms of planning a wedding far from home, we're planning a wedding in Cornwall and live in Kent (about 6hrs away). However, similarly to you, we usually go at least twice a year. I've found most suppliers really willing to deal with me over the phone and then meet in person while we're down there over the summer, and the venue's been great at keeping in contact (we went with their package deal so they are handling the catering etc. too). Our outfits and wedding party outfits we're getting locally to us. The only things that have caused a little bit of complications are HMU trials (I obv can't schedule these alongside dress fittings as others do) and any decor we're DIYing (but that's where wedding planning takes a village and friends are offering up space in their car for us!).