CARIAD!!????

[:I] my apologies for my use of bad language Taz....I'm having a bad day, actually bad week but alas it's still no excuse!

FWIW - I don't find the whole situation funny and I'm not that much of a regular.

You see FussAss, you are continuing to wind people up. I accept that there was some rudeness from established members but they have already had the dignity to admit that. However this thread was started with some deliberately inflammatory remarks by you.

My best suggestion is that this thread is left and if you care to, join in using a more measured approach. If you want to be part of this 'community' that's great but at the moment you don't really appear to be offering anything more than mild disruption.

Cariad has told me nothing about any of you except that you were all good fun and very helpful when in need.

I came on and had the worst experience ever. I was ripped to shreds even when I was being nice.

As far as I am concerned I couldnt have won either way. I asked innocent questions which you took the wrong way. You were not helpful just rude.

So as for introducing myself to you - hmmmmmm not sure it would have made a difference.

Maybe not for a fact then as i havent had time to read everything posted but what i have read i havent seen anything personal being said

I honestly believe my sides have just split.

But I can't see that FA has done much wrong. She wasn't a regular troll, she was logging on as herself expressing her own opinions. This thread was a little ill advised as she must have known that as we weren't aware of her connection with Cariad and that she'd get flamed, but TBH she was probably doing it as a fingers in the face to everyone who had been rude to her thus far.

Also the whole 'how dare you come and talk to us like you know us' attitude is what is very wrong with Hitched at the moment. Don't get me wrong. I love this place, but why can't a genuine newbie* be involved in banter? I don't understand?

* I admit to not having had the sharpest troll detector in the past.

quote:Originally posted by FussAss
Cariad has told me nothing about any of you except that you were all good fun and very helpful when in need.

I came on and had the worst experience ever. I was ripped to shreds even when I was being nice.

As far as I am concerned I couldnt have won either way. I asked innocent questions which you took the wrong way. You were not helpful just rude.

So as for introducing myself to you - hmmmmmm not sure it would have made a difference.

id="quote">

Are your reading my posts? People here have admitted to being rude, why do you need to keep re-iterating this. It's been admitted and people have apologised. Can we please move on?

quote:Originally posted by FussAss


Thank you.
Heidi Hole - you need to stop being so aggressive.
You were very rude first

Cariad never told me what to say, she told me to come on to have a chat with people but some of you are not very welcoming.
Perhaps a lesson for you to actually welcome new hitchers?

id="quote">

But you never, once, indicated that you were here for any readon other than to sh!t-stir. I'm not finding you funny either - jsut stupid and childish.

Cariad, I'm surprised you encouraged this and found it funny tbh.

The thing is, from someone just reading the thread FA has been involved in, she has seemed to be here to ask very silly questions in a very brusque manner - certainly that's how they've read.

Point in hand, the weather/chicken thread. "what's it got to do with a chicken?". She had it explained to her and then she got quite sarcastic with responses, which is odd behaviour from a very new person.

It was very suspicious - most other new joiners usually blood themselves in gently, and don't jump in with both feet taking the mickey out of very well established people.

I honestly thought FA was someone trolling Chicken - she seemed to know a great deal already.

Maybe some of the responses were disproportionate, but with the amount of weirdies we've had recently I think we're allowed to be a little suspicious. Turns out we were right.

What alison said

missus jolly - i dont see why people should feel they can log in and join in with the banter

you wouldnt go up to a group of friends in a pub and start on at them about why are they saying this or that and tell them how they should interact

they would tell you to fuck off

just because it is an internet forum doesnt mean the rules of friendship and relationships dont count

i am really quite shocked that you stood by and let this happen cariad - when people who obviously care about you were upset and jumping to your defence

the whole thing is incredibly unfunny on many levels

quote:Originally posted by Missus Jolly

Also the whole 'how dare you come and talk to us like you know us' attitude is what is very wrong with Hitched at the moment. Don't get me wrong. I love this place, but why can't a genuine newbie* be involved in banter? I don't understand?

* I admit to not having had the sharpest troll detector in the past.

id="quote">

I think it's absolutely fine for a genuine newbie to join in with banter but only if they're sure they've got a feel for the place and what is and isn't acceptable.

In general (not necessarily referring to this case) I think new posters anywhere have a responsibility of sorts to make an effort to adapt in spirit to the norms of the group and build a rapport before jumping in with both feet and trying to be funny.

When that rapport and previous knowledge of a poster's personality isn't there, it's incredibly hard to know the intention behind a post and whether it's meant to be funny or not.

Just been looking at old posts (sad I know) and I dont think FussAss has been mean before today and has joined in on other threads in a 'normal' way


This thread is obviously a joke that has backfired but there's no harm done to anyone.

Chill everyone. It's Friday

xx

I must admit I've read most stuff from FA as someone taking the piss out of me. I wasn't offended (a bit perplexed but not offended). Also a little embarrassed for the people who find it funny.

I agree with Janey. And also, there is a hint of 'the kleeky bullies don't like new members' about these complaints - which is cobblers. There are too many of us on Hitched who have welcomed newbies time and again only to have them take advantage / bully / troll other members and I for one am just fucking sick of it. Life is sequential - if someone takes the piss out of you for long enough, you stop making yourself so vulnerable. It's about survival, not kleekyness.

I will apologise for the language I used.

However the 1st post on this thread was a direct shot a Carriad and am now confused as it is a typical shoot down post.

quote:Originally posted by Boxof BaldKittens
I will apologise for the language I used.

However the 1st post on this thread was a direct shot a Carriad and am now confused as it is a typical shoot down post.

id="quote">

And that's the precise reason why this old po faced git finds it so tremendously unfunny, when we've all been listening to Cariad's problems for the last two weeks. I'm immensely pissed off with this aspect of it all.

No, you are right puddled, she really hadn't. Until this thread, she had basically tried to join in.

Re: the you wouldn't go up to someone in a pub...... I'm hardly a forum expert, this is the only one I go on with any regularity, but I don't think that forums are like pubs. I think that different sets of rules apply. And up until this post I cannot see why anyone had a beef with FA's posts. I honestly can't.

As far as apologies go, they have only been made to Taz for swearing, and not by everyone who should offer one either.

I don't think there is any more I can add to this, so I'll go and finish my essay.

quote:Originally posted by Missus Jolly


Re: the you wouldn't go up to someone in a pub...... I'm hardly a forum expert, this is the only one I go on with any regularity, but I don't think that forums are like pubs. I think that different sets of rules apply. And up until this post I cannot see why anyone had a beef with FA's posts. I honestly can't.

id="quote">

I don't know if you saw my earlier post but I don't think a different set of rules apply - if you go out IRL, you (or at least I) try to fit in with people, get off on the right foot and don't immediately start jokingly insulting them or otherwise. I don't understand why a forum would be any different.

With this particular thread, it wasn't clear to me that FA knew cariad well and this was all a joke and it appears it was the same with others. All we saw was someone being nasty about a well-liked poster so people stepped in to defend her. You can quibble about the language used but I think the sentiment was a good one and is again similar to what I would hope would happen in real life if someone was insulting a friend.

She wasn't trying to join in here, she was rude.

https://www.hitched.co.uk/sbforum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=1048211

Telling us it was dull and boring and 'not again'. Yes you're right, she was never trying to cause trouble.

Yes I aplogised to Taz, but no I won't be apologising to FA. I feel like I've been taken the piss out of tbh, and not in a funny ha ha way.

Oh, and what Janey said re going up to stranger, netiquette applies here just as much as etiquette applies in RL situations.

Also, have I got this right? FA posed as a customer praising Cariad's shop? That's frowned on, isn't it?

quote:Originally posted by Chicken
Also, have I got this right? FA posed as a customer praising Cariad's shop? That's frowned on, isn't it?

id="quote">

I believe FA was actually a customer, though I may be wrong.

TBH I think the whole scenario stinks.

First off FA praises Cariad's shop immensely on WP then it turns out she works there?

Now it feels like the pee is being taken out of collectively.

I fully agree that the normal social rules should apply to t'interweb. I'm all for new people joining in conversation but not in the manner FA did.

I will not apologise to FA as 1) I cant see how the post is funny/sarky/soh between friends (unless I really missed something

2) I read the other thread and did not see anything jokey or trying to fit in there either and

3) this
"And Yes you all sad people are going to slate me because you are all soooooooo freindly and nice.

Blah blah blah!!!id="red"> "

is a dig at the rest of the forum and I certainly am not on friendly enough terms with FA to just laugh it off and take it as a sarky comment.

Another one who's not apologising to FA. Whilst my choice of word was perhaps not appropriate and was offensive to some, the sentiment behind it remains.
I echo what everyone else has said about feeling like we've been made fools of.

Whilst I'm also in the 'struggling to see the funny side' camp, I think that all C is guilty of is making a bit of an error of judgement, which is something we're all susceptible to (especially in times of extreme stress). I'm sure she's well aware of this, but doesn't want to be seen to be disloyal to her friend. (incidentally, this whole 'being torn' between real life and hitched is one very good reason why I don't encourage friends to use the site.)

Can we maybe let this drop now so that C can go off and enjoy her birthday weekend without feeling like she's leaving in the middle of bad feeling?

I apologise to Taz for my use of the term "ball bag".

I don't however appologise for the context, especially bearing in mind the rough time Cariad has had recently and the posts the other night from her sister.

FA has a low post count and has posted aggressively and been rude to other people. It's hardly surprising that the troll-o-meter was going off the scale.

Still, I suppose the purpose of an in-joke is that it's meant to exclude everyone else.

Cariad had nothing to do with this.

Nor did she have anything to do with my posts.

I am wholly responsible.

I am a terrible person who has a really warped sense of humour.

I have apologised.

quote:Originally posted by FussAss
Cariad had nothing to do with this.

Nor did she have anything to do with my posts.

I am wholly responsible.

I am a terrible person who has a really warped sense of humour.

I have apologised.

id="quote">

Now you see, if I was Cariad I'd be pissed off with this. The last two sentences are so heavily dripping with sarcasm make the first sentences seem sarcastic too.

FA, for the sake of your mate who has far more to lose than you, please just be sincere, or say nothing.

Marmalade, when I say it, I really rough up my accent so it comes out like 'baw-bag'. I think that's a brrrrrilliant insult. How do they say it in norniron? (so I can practise that too ?).

quote:Originally posted by LouM
marmalade, when I say it, I really rough up my accent so it comes out like 'baw-bag'. I think that's a brrrrrilliant insult. How do they say it in norniron? (so I can practise that too ?).

id="quote">

Bahll bag. So it is. ?

quote:Originally posted by Clairy

quote:Originally posted by FussAss
Cariad had nothing to do with this.

Nor did she have anything to do with my posts.

I am wholly responsible.

I am a terrible person who has a really warped sense of humour.

I have apologised.

id="quote">

Now you see, if I was Cariad I'd be pissed off with this. The last two sentences are so heavily dripping with sarcasm make the first sentences seem sarcastic too.

FA, for the sake of your mate who has far more to lose than you, please just be sincere, or say nothing.

id="quote">

No sarcasm in that at all.
I have offended people and I am sorry
This is perhaps the issue - written word can be taken very many different ways.
You do not know me, like I do not know you so the assumption that I am not sincere begins this debate again.

quote:Originally posted by LouM
marmalade, when I say it, I really rough up my accent so it comes out like 'baw-bag'. I think that's a brrrrrilliant insult. How do they say it in norniron? (so I can practise that too ?).

id="quote">

I agree it's a great insult, scrote is also good in certain circumstances ?

Last Christmas, I walked past a charity shop that had ball gowns in it's window display. This included accessories, including a tiny silver clutch bag. Someone had brilliantly written a sign that said "silver ball bag, £1". Honest to God, I did this outside the shop ?