Cash Bar?

I've never been to a wedding with an open bar, I think cash bar is much more common. As you say you are providing everything else with wine for dinner so it's not necessary to pay for people to drink all night as well.

I’ve had this debate before. I personally think a cash bar is totally acceptable (and would always expect it myself). I think I’ve maybe only been to 2-3 weddings with an open bar (one was a certain amount on a tab). I have a theory it’s a north/south thing. I’m from the north and always thought it was the norm. My partner from the south and him and his family and other people I’ve spoken to think the opposite. I think open bars get abused and are a waste of money as people over order and choose extravagant drinks, when in reality after the wine on table and fizz on arrival/for speeches you can only manage a few more drinks. Me and H2B have disagreed on having one so have settled on a set amount behind the bar for beer, wine and softs only (no spirits). We’re still disagreeing on the amount to put behind the bar though 🤣

You are looking after them by providing food and wine on the table, which is the norm, I have only been to one wedding where it was a free bar and that was because it was in a field and they had access to cheaper alcohol through their work!

We had pre mix cocktail cans at our ceremony as it was at a castle and I watched family members taking 4 or 5 cans and putting them in their bags, so I called them out, and they were like, well they are spare, to which I replied no they are not, as I can take them home so stop being greedy and put them back! We then held our reception at a separate venue where everyone had a welcome drink, half a bottle of wine pr person on tables and champagne for toasting, after that, it was up to the guests to pay for what they wanted. We put it on our invites to say a pay bar is available and they accept cash or card, so it was clear they needed to buy their own.

It really is quite rude of people to assume you will pay for everything, it is expensive enough without fueling peoples drinking, and personally I would worry about people drinking excessively and causing a scene because it is free, it is rude!

I would never go to a wedding expecting an open bar, I didn't even think it was a thing over here I thought it was more American. I will say though, when we were choosing our venue, the price of drinks at the bar was definitely something we thought about. We've been to a few weddings where the bar has been really expensive and it has actually put a bit of a dampner on the night (not loads, all were beautiful weddings and obviously the main thing was celebrating the couple so dont take that the wrong way!). We wanted somewhere where the drinks were reasonably priced as thats important to us - each to their own. When talking about the wedding with people nobody has even mentioned an open bar so I don't think anyone is expecting it either!

Although I've just noticed we're both getting married in Yorkshire so maybe thats the thing!

A cash bar where guests pay for their own drinks after the wedding breakfast is totally normal. I’ve been to at least 10 weddings and only one was a free bar and that was in a field and marquee on the family land. We had a cash bar for the evening and after main meal and no one batted an eyelid. I’m northern and my husband is a southerner but it wasn’t an issue. Don’t give in to them! Weddings are expensive enough!

Thank you all for your advice! I also felt this was quite normal. It didn’t help that we recently went to a wedding in London that was an open bar. We’re also in the north. However the reception was in a local hall so maybe that played a part. Our wedding is a venue with a bar. My step dad usually puts a certain amount money behind the bar at family events but by no means is that a given or expected in any way by us!


Maybe I’ll pop it on the invites so there’s no surprises as we do have a north/south divide with my partner being born in London. I wouldn’t want them to come and expect to drink for free when they aren’t.

I think a paid for ba is definitely the norm nowadays, getting married is expensive enough without paying for other people's drinks!

As above, people expect to pay for drinks. Went to a wedding at the weekend and there was money behind the bar but when it ran out we had to pay. There was no table booze however as BBQ.


At my own wedding we will be providing 2 glasses of sparkling wine and half a bottle or red or white for the meal. Cash bar after that although I might stick £500 behind as a gesture if we can afford it!

"He was shocked and looked at me horrified and said that you should look after your family and friends that’s what a wedding is all about."


He clearly has no idea what a wedding is all about. He is a guest. It was because you wanted him there that he has an invite at all. You aren't getting married and having a celebration for them, it is about you and your future spouse.
I've only ever been to one wedding with an open bar, and I think your idea of putting it on the invite to warn people is perfect.

I don’t expect a free bar when I go to weddings. I think only a handful of weddings I’ve been to have had open bars. My Mum was surprised that people would have to pay for their own drinks but, once she realised how expensive weddings are, she realised why we didn’t intend on doing it!
We are having a small wedding but the venue we like has a minimum spend for food and drinks. As we don’t want to invite more people for the sake of it, and we’re not having any extra evening guests, we probably will put the leftover behind the bar for drinks. We can also use the minimum spend towards our wedding cake and any evening food etc. Otherwise, it would be a paid for bar.

View quoted message This made me laugh when I read it because actually he’s only invited because he is my other half’s sisters boyfriend. I don’t particularly like him so it probably makes it worse that he said it to me and I had to keep a straight face lol.
Thanks for your words and advice. Definitely going to add to the invite in case of any miscommunications or expectations x

View quoted message Yes, we most likely would do this is we can afford to. However we do go on honeymoon 2 days after the wedding, so I’m not confident it will be something we can do x

I am battling with this whole thing myself and my Fiance's mother was saying she thinks it should be a cash bar, however I am from London and have been brought up that Bar should be open. When I told her she told me it must be a cultural thing as no English wedding normally has open bar (my family is caribbean)
We really want to make it open but the price is sooo high. I just have visions of people leaving cos they have spent their budget.
I dunno what the answer is.

View quoted message My other half and family are also Caribbean and the wedding we went to in London was his side of the family, the bar was open and there were a lot of people! I’m worried that we will shock that side of the family which is why I’m going to put it on the invites. My side of the family and any weddings I’ve been to other than the one I’ve spoken about have been cash bar and I’d always expect to pay for my drinks, so maybe for our circumstances it is cultural. We don’t drink a lot though so don’t want to spend thousands on an open bar. I feel your pain.

Dont think ive been to a wedding with a free bar. all cash. i thought that was an american thing? we are providing prosecco and bottled beers for the pre drinks on arrival, havent decided on toast/meal yet, we may well do as thats what we have had at other weddings and dont want to seem like we are being stingey. i wouldnt have a free bar as people just take the piss, as pp have already mentioned. though you say its the done thing where you are, so do what feels right/you can afford.

Deffo let guests know in the extra info on the invites that it's a "cash" bar and then let them know that the venue can take cards etc... honestly, some people need to be told the obvious 🙄

We are having a cash bar but I have some friends from asian/african communties where it's definitely not a thing and they were a bit put out that ours won't be an open bar.

I've never been to a wedding with an open bar and I would never have one at my wedding. Everyone expects to pay I think, apart from a glass of wine, toasting drink etc with food. We did have an open bar at our engagement party and we completely regretted it, people took advantage drinking way too much, I won't let the same happen at the actual wedding.

I believe that a paid for wedding is undoubtedly the standard in today's society. Getting married is already an expensive endeavour without having to pay for the beverages of other people!

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