Ceremony unity candles?

I don't think it will take long or that people will get bored. It is very symbolic and meaningful. No one ever worries about their guests getting bored during religious ceremonies and there's loads of ritual! So just go with what you want. We have decided to do handfasting instead but here is an extract from the script our Humanist celebrant sent us with the option of a unity ceremony:

Candle

We are now going to light the Unity Candle. This candle represents the joining of two families, in the marriage of xxxx and xxxx and the support both families will give.

Would xxxx and xxxx, the representatives of the families of xxxx and xxx please, step forward and light the two smaller candles? These candles have been lit to represent each of their families and their support to this marriage. They represent the wisdom and love xxxx and xxxx have received from your families, which they each bring to this marriage.

Would you please now light the larger candle and repeat after me,

**** and **** ‘I light this candle as a symbol of my family, all the joy and wisdom that we offer you in your future as you form a new family together,’

Thank you

Thanks, the wording my mum sent me was:

Now, N & S will commemorate their marriage by lighting a Unity Candle (Bride and groom walk over to the candles)

the two distinct candle flames represent your lives before this day, individual, unique and special. Please take the candle symbolizing your life before today, and together light the centre candle to symbolize the union of your individual lives. (Place the tapers back into their holders—join hands and remain near the candles) As this new flame burns undivided, so shall your lives now be one. From now on your thoughts will always be for each other rather than just your individual selves. Your plans will be mutual, your joys and sorrows both will be shared alike.

Although you are now entering into a marriage relationship, you do not, however, lose your personal identity. Rather, you will use your special individuality to create and strengthen the relationship of marriage. Therefore all three candles remain glowing. The individual candles represent all that makes each of you the wonderful and unique person the other admires and respects. The Unity candle in the centre symbolizes the union of your lives, families, and friends, as well as your shining commitment to each other, and to a lasting and loving marriage.

What a beautiful and very spiritual idea, love it, seriously thinking about including this in our wedding service now Thank you

It's a lovely additional element within the main ceremony. There are various ways to light the taper candles. Some of my couples ask the Dads to do this or both mums. It's a nice way to include the Grooms parents who sometimes don't feel involved with the whole process.

if you have children, ( and they are old enough to hold a candle lighter) then you could ask them too. In one evening ceremony I went to as a guest, everyone in the ceremony room lit the candle of the person in front of them.....it was started at the back of the room by the celebrant,....when it got to the front and the couples candles were lit, the whole room was alight and absolutely stunning. It was symbolic of all family and friends not taking sides and supporting the couple. It less very romantic.

That's what hitched is for ?

I didn't know much about it either (hence the thread lol) but did quite a bit of reading today and now really love the idea - it sounded a bit strange when my mum was describing it to me on the phone but think it will fit perfectly with us.

My mum mentioned the parents doing it but seeing my mum is performing our service that bit may be a bit tricky so I think we will stick with the two of us.

We went to the registry office in the district we are getting married in yesterday to give them our marriage licences and said about wanting to do this as part of our ceremony. They said they weren't sure it was allowed and would come back to us.

Had a call this evening to say the head registrar is "sitting on the fence" on this one so it has been referred on to another department who have come back and said No as they deem it to be a religious ritual and is therefore not permitted

The registrar who made the call to us is on our side and thinks it should be permitted so is willing to take it to an even higher authority on our behalf but this could take up to a month to be decided and theres no guarantee they will find in our favour

So things are not looking great for our unity candle being part of our ceremony sadly We have talked about it and have decided we will take it further as its something we really want to incorporate and if they come back and say no then we are going to make it part of the rest of the day and incorporate it with our wedding breakfast and speeches'

really surprised such a simple thing has turned into such an issue!

anyone else had this experience?

That sounds very frustrating! I don't see why they would say no - there is no mention of religion, God or any other affiliation e.g. humanist.

Our wedding is being done in a Church - but it's not a typical part of a church ceremony.

Good luck with it ?

This might help your case.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unity_candle

it clearly states that this represents the unity if family. There is nothing religious in it and interestingly, churches do not permit them.

Good luck.

Thank you!

Really appreciate it, going to send that link over to them together with an email explaining and fingers crossed they will see sense and say yes