Change of mind - venue

Ooh tricky.

I agree that wedding insurance won't cover you for changing your mind - how much would you stand to lose in deposits paid to the marquee company etc to date?

I think you need to have a sit down & serious chat with your OH & really decide if you can wave goodbye to anything you've paid out for now if you can still go elsewhere & do what you want for less money. I understand your predicament as I think in hindsight we could have saved a bit of cash if we'd shopped around a bit more & gone for more of a package deal (we are hiring a pre-erected marquee in the grounds of someone's home with all furniture hire included but it's still costing us more than if we'd gone to a local hotel I think).

Maybe you need another visit to refresh your memory as to why it felt like the right decision at the time. I sometimes have a wobble that we rushed a few decisions at the beginning (TOG for example!), but we get to visit our venue again in April with the new marquee up & I'm sure I'll fall in love with it all over again!

Your venue sounds lovely but as you have found a marquee is not always the cheapest option but it is by far the most personal as you can do exactly what you want and how you want it, remember that some venues only allow their own suppliers and many other restrictions. Also the venue that you mention with a fixed package - how many people was that for and how much extra is it for the amount of people that you will be having,they may not even be able to accommodate the amount of guests that you want for the evening then there is the cost of drinks / corkage compared to your freedom you have now.Dig a little deeper and you may find that your current option is actually still cheaper.

Thank you.

We have paid around £460 deposit on the marquee and £200 on the barn, which is a fair amount to lose hence the hesitation. It might be worth an idea going to see the marquee erected somewhere so we get a feel of how that will look and size etc, we have been to the barn twice but not seen the marquee yet as it is a separate supplier.

The fixed packages offered at other places are enough to cover the amount of people going as we are only having 50 for the main then up to 70 in the evening so we are okay there.

I have a DJ and caterers ready for a deposit but I am reluctant to finalise until everything is settled again either way.

I'd certainly hold out on shelling out more money. Go see the marquee set up somewhere else and book appointments to see other venues.

But set a timescale. Give yourselves a deadline. Otherwise you might risk drawing this out and the decision being taken away from you.

If I could afford it I would've had a marquee but the cost just wasn't within any budget that we can now afford. Go with your gut, we have a beautiful venue that I would never have even considered at first I found it completely by chance after a joke from OH about his old recording studio, which, turned out to have been done up to an amazing standard. Just ask yourselves "can we afford it?" and "is this the only place I could consider being married in?" then see how you feel. Either way I'm sure you and your HTB will have an excellent day.

My brother and sister in law borrowed a marquee because they thought it would be a cheaper option but it then cost so much to dress it that they ended up spending far more than if they had used an actual venue. Plus it took 2 days before the wedding to set up and a whole day afterwards (with hangovers) to take it all down again. In a venue they would have decorated it for them and tidied up afterwards. they really regret not using a venue now.

Itt really depends whether you can stand to use the deposits you've already paid - will savings in decoration etc counter them?

My brother and sister in law used a marquee thinking it would cheaper and it ended up costing them a fortune, far more than a venue, plus 3 days to set up then take it all down again. A venue would have done all that for them.

If you can stand to lose the deposits you may well end up recouping some of the money if you find a cheaper venue that requires minimal decoration.