Change of plan

It's such a hard decision as we have paid deposits on things. It was all so exciting and stress free but suddenly it all seems too much to bear trying to keep everyone else happy 😞

We have booked sole occupancy on our wedding venue, with the number based on 70 people. But I am starting to feel the same. It just all adds up and is starting to seem like such a ridiculous amount of money, when we don't own a property yet.

20 close family and friends is becoming more and more appealing!

"What have you paid deposits on? If it’s things like photographer and venue you could always ask them to keep the date but say you’re wanting a smaller service."

This may work but you could find that they end up cancelling your booking completely in favour of an all day full package if they get an enquiry.

View quoted message Thanks Bill, I already have a the twilight package for my venue which is the smaller of the ones they offer. It's not even the money to be honest it's the stress of friends and family who don't like each other. This is leaving me in the middle and making me want to jack it all in and just go abroad only me and my partner. I was really enjoying the wedding planning but now it's just becoming something that is making me anxious and stressed.

View quoted message 20 absolutely sounds more appealing doesn't it haha. I was really enjoying the planning process but other people are making me not enjoy it

We’re having about 30 people which is basically immediate family and best friends. We purposely booked a small venue to limit the numbers because a big do just isn’t us and the bigger the venue the bigger the temptation to fill it. It wasn’t driven by cost (its not going to be cheap) more that we wanted something simple.

View quoted message This is exactly what I wanted and again ot wasn't cost but more having intimate and real friends and family! I don't know how ours has got our of hands 🙈 90 people to the day and my partner still wanted more. He now realises that we would be inviting people for the sake of it so we stopped at 90. The venue has a minimum of 90

I just cancelled mine due to too much stress

View quoted message How do you feel now you have cancelled. Are you making it smaller?

Have you invited people or just set up a guest list? If you haven't invited them, it's not too late to cut back. Yes, you may not save on costs - it will depend on the minimum charge your venue has - but does that really matter if you save on stress? E.g. if your venue is costing 3k regardless, surely it's better to have 3k + 30 guests + no stress than to have 3k + 90 guests + so much stress you don't enjoy the planning or the wedding?

Set some time aside to go through what you have planned and what you have booked and paid for already. Then look at how feasible it is to make alterations, how much it will cost and whether it is worth it in terms of stress/finance.

Don't let worry about what people will think hold you back. People who have opinions on other people's weddings will have them regardless, and whatever you do, they will always find something to whinge about. People who just love and support you and want you to have the best day possible will love and support you whatever kind of wedding you have.

The only thing I don't think you can get away with is cutting the guest list if you have already told people they are invited - unless there is a really good reason, people will be upset at being 'disinvited'.

View quoted message Thank you so much. That is great advice.


I haven't actually handed out our save the dates just yet. So I will most definitely sit down soon as go through my potential guest list.
But you are right, those who have an opinion always will do and those who love me regardless will be supportive.
Thank you. I needed to read that ❤️

Not personally but I think it all the time!


Unfortunately. Sinking funds and sometimes you invest that much money you can’t really turn back 🤣

Yep!! I am looking to the quieter London wedding rather than the big splash Cyprus wedding. I was starting to stress out over whether the guests could afford to travel and overcompensating with extra parties and entertainment!

I’m having 250 guests at mine later this month 🙈 so I thought I’d offer the alternate perspective!


I have thought about just having a small immediate family wedding many times but i really only thought about it when I’m stressed. And I don’t think temporary emotions should always dictate your wedding which the memories will last forever. There’s also a plus side to having a bigger wedding, it’s been such a happy exciting time for everyone! Ultimately it boils down to, do you really want a very small wedding or is it more the stress that’s pushing you that way? From my perspective, my stress is temporary and the memories last forever. I’m only doing this once so I don’t want to look back and regret!
Of course if it’s actually affecting your mental health or making your financial situation difficult that’s a different story. So it all really depends