Charity donation instead of wedding favours

I wouldn't be offended at all and to be honest I'd probably not even notice unless someone mentioned it. Even then I wouldn't care though. I think what you're doing/have done is great.

Favours are not essential and some brides do without them simply to make the tables look tidier. Just say that the favours are the heart shaped stones!

And don't tell your gran & aunt any more of your wedding plans!

IMO it's rude is to rock up to someones wedding and expect to be given a gift.

I've seen far too many favours be left behind and subsequently binned during room switch over to be in the least bit fazed by there not being favours.

Don't feel obligated as i'm sure the majority of your guests either wont notice, or wont mind at all.

I think the only mistake you made in not providing favours was telling people you're not lol. They have the named heart shaped stone and the tartan napkin ring. Make that their favour and put a note on the table or on each place setting, inviting people to take away with them (so they don't assume they belong to the venue) and if you wish to also explain that you've gone for less expensive favours but made a donation to xyz charity because xyz reason it's important to you I'm sure everyone will be fine. They probably would have anyway apart from the one who has a major problem with it.

i would expect a favour and most I've ever had I've either left them or thrown them away. I don't need it as a rememberance and how hard must it be to buy 100 people something that they like or matches their decor.

course if it's traditional to provide a favour how much can it be to give the traditional 5 sugared almonds. Keep the tartan napkin holders and sell them after or in sets of six lol. That should shut the moaner up!

so glad I'm eloping lol.

I have decided not to do favours as I think they're a complete waste of money and more often than not they are left on the tables and binned. I wasn't going to do anything but have decided to donate to Kidney Research as my brother in law had a kidney transplant a couple of years ago.

My mum said I had to do favours but I think it's a generation thing. I politely told her that it won't be happening!

Dont worry about it too much - I'm learning that everyone has an opinion on what you should do at your wedding. At the end of the day it's yours and your OH's decision what you spend your money on!

Thanks for the feedback girls! I appreciate your comments and feel a bit better about it now. They asked in conversation what the favours were, I wouldn't of mentioned it otherwise. Think I'll stick with doing this as it feels right to us X

I agree lafalot. My post meant to say I wouldn't expect a favour. If I was having a uk wedding and guests it would be a donation to McMillan. Yes people are probably going to buy you a wedding gift but you're feeding them etc as well. Quite frankly if hubby and I attended a wedding I would rather have the two tartan napkin rings than a miniature whiskey I won't drink or a trinket box I won't use etc.

Don't sweat it, if they're offended at not getting a few almonds, chocolates or whatever then they're going to be looking for faults. It's a great cause and its up to you how you spend your money. If they are selfish enough to try deny money going to charity instead of them then they need to have word with themselves quite frankly.

Far from offensive. I'd prefer a couple gave money to something they believed in than put extra tat on the table. That's rather an old-fashioned approach your Gran and Aunt have.

We had no favours, we did pay for two night's accommodation for the entire party of 19 and breakfast, as well as all food/drink on the wedding day.

You've totally done the right thing - you're providing a small momento that people can take with them, and a personal one at that.

We are making a donation to cancer research, they provide a small packet of flower seeds and we are putting a few lines on them, my best friend died of cancer a few months ago so most of our guests will know the reasoning behind the donation. I would much prefer to spend £xxx amount of money rather than have favours left on the tables

We are doing exactly the same as you (donating to stroke association) and are not doing favours at all. Each table will have a little note to explain.

Noone in our family has said anything about it at all and all say its a lovely idea and I actually think it could be seen as being a lot more personal than a favour as everyone will have been affected by the chosen charity in some way. To be honest, if anyone said anything about it to us we still wouldnt do favours! If you feel strongly about it, stick to your guns, its your day

We are planning to make a donation to charity instead of favours too... we may or may not do the 'traditional' organza bag with sugared almonds too- will depend on finances and how cheaply we can do it!

If any of my guests are remotely offended by the lack of favours or lack of 'posh/expensive' favours then I will be very surprised- and frankly quite hurt!

If I was you I'd make up a little poem along the lines of

'Aunty thinks we're mean, and frankly wasn't keen,

but we did what was best and hope you all feel blessed.

Instead of a sweet for you, we've donated to XXXXXX in lieu'

Then I'd put the web address of the charity you're donating to in case anyone wants to donate more! Oh, and I'd present those who are against the idea with a fun size Milky Way...they are clearly on a different planet so that should go down well

Stick to your guns, you're definitely right! ?

I LOVE this Sunnyblue diamonds - if only I had the guts, my aunt is quite the battleaxe so I wouldn't name and shame her ?

You don't need to name and shame...you could just use 'some folks' instead of 'Aunty' or even 'Some may not be keen, and think us rather mean...' If Aunty takes offence bat your eyelashes and look innocent whilst explaining that her voiced concerns had worried you and you thought perhaps you should sort of apologise in case she was right.... ?

Maybe your auntie is just all about tradition. You know the you have to give favours, wedding cake has to be fruit and brides can't wear coloured shoes.

I don't think most people would think like her.

I thought some charities provided a sign or a badge with a message saying that the wedding favour is a donation to charity such as:

http://giveincelebration.cancerresearchuk.org/wedding-favours?gclid=CKSk-4D15scCFaPnwgodzUwMTw&dclid=CLKn_4D15scCFcPcGwodCxQEbg

It might be a way of quietly getting the message around.

Are you having a sweetie buffet? Some people provide this instead of a chocolate or sweet based favour?

I would definitely stick to your guns. I would much rather the bride and groom gave the money they would have spent on wedding favours to charity.