Child free wedding, but moh has fallen pregnant

If you are determined not to allow MOHs child at the wedding, then all you can do is to explain to her as quickly (and kindly) as possible, that there are no exceptions. Reiterate that you would still love her to be your MOH, but that you totally understand if she does not feel able to leave the child.

I would also leave it until the last possible minute before asking her to decide. As a first time mother, she can't know how she will feel about the prospect of leaving her 1-year-old before she has even given birth to him/her. Ask her to make a decision now, and she may be "No way could I leave my child" or "Oh, nothing will change, I'll leave the baby with my parents" only to find a few months into motherhood that her feelings have totally changed!

If she has as much time as possible in which to decide, it will also give her time to consider the extra costs involved - presumably, if her partner is also at the wedding, then they would either need to leave the baby with relatives at home for a longer period of time, or else budget for paying at least one other person's hotel and plane fare to provide a babysitter at the hotel. Knowing in plenty of time will at least give her time to save up if she thinks she might want to have someone fly out with her to care for the baby.

And if she gets upset or decides to drop out of the wedding, do your best to be understanding. She's likely to be dealing with all kinds of emotions anyway right now, so let her know she has your continued support and friendship whatever she decides to do.

Hello,

It's understandable to feel anxious about this situation. Having a conversation with your MOH is essential to maintain clarity and avoid misunderstandings. Here’s a gentle way to approach it: NC Education Cloud

1. Acknowledge her Situation: Start by congratulating her on the pregnancy and expressing your excitement for her.

2. Explain Your Dream: Share how important the child-free aspect of your wedding is to you and your fiancé, and how it has always been a part of your vision for the special day.

3. Offer a Solution: Suggest ways to accommodate her, like having a trusted family member or friend look after her child during the wedding.

4. Express Your Feelings: Let her know how much it would mean to you to have her there and that you value her presence and support.

Hopefully, this approach will help her understand your perspective and find a way to be there on your special day.

Best regards,
Peter Philip