So I’ve been asked to be bridesmaid at my brothers wedding in March 2025 and my husband is being asked to be a groomsman. Obviously my parents will be mother/father of the groom.
We have two children who will be 3years and 15 months by the time the wedding comes round. The eldest is a wild child currently coming up to 2 years in January - I don’t expect his character to change! And my youngest is currently only 4 months so I can’t tell her temperament!
My SIL to be has given me an open invite to decide if I want to bring the children or not. Originally I said I would as it was a family wedding and it’s their aunt and uncle getting married. Which I knew my husband would be in charge of them. However now he’s also in the wedding party, I’m really not sure what to do. My children aren’t being included into the wedding party (there’s nieces and nephews both sides so there’d be too many of them so not an issue) but I’ve tried to discuss with my mother and she keeps telling me to “chill out” and “it’ll be fine”. But I can’t help but be worried that it’ll all end up being a bit stressful and I won’t enjoy myself.
My thoughts are-
I know my brother (groom) isn’t getting ready at the same place as the bride. Therefore my husband won’t be around to help get the children ready. I haven’t been a bridesmaid since having children however when I’ve done it previously you spend all morning with the bride, however now I’m worried I’ll end up trying to get ready and stressing about the kids. I think my parent are staying at the hotel the night before and my mum will be having her make up done that morning with us. But I’m not sure being in “the brides getting ready area” is the appropriate place for my kids.
My parents will be heavily involved in the wedding - talking to people, having photos, sitting on top table. So I have my questions over how much help they’ll be on the day - although my mum tells me we’ll just manage them between all of us.
Our wedding was cancelled during covid so I have no experience of what worked, but our family’s children were coming but we’d extended invited to their in-laws to provide childcare on the day, which I’m not expecting my brother to do as I don’t want to impose on them. And bridal party who had kids were all leaving children at home with parents.
My gut feeling is to as my in laws (who live near us, the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home) to have the children for the weekend - as I’m not sure what a 3 year old and a 15 month old will get out of sitting through the ceremony, sitting through the meal etc etc. but I know that’s going to upset my mother.
Any advice or thoughts?Thanks!