Choosing bridesmaids

An honest opinion is yes, I think if you are having a small ceremony your bridal party should reflect that, so for me 5 would be too many. I would stick to the 3 as you are not then singling out friends if you only had one or the other if the others. It is hard, as you rightly say you dont want to hurt feelings, but you need to remove emotion sometimes from decision making and do what works for your budget and fits ytour vision of the day. you could maybe ask them to do a reading, this way they will have a role still

I'm only having 3 bridesmaids for a 50 guest wedding... FH was very concerned that if we have too many people in the wedding, the ratio of guests to wedding party might make the guests feel a bit awkward and leave us with quite a few empty seats while I'm walking down the aisle.

We are having two ushers though (my brother and one of my guy best friends), and my other guy best friend is officiating, all of whom would have been bridesmaids if I decided to go bigger! The ushers will be seated during the processional but will be meeting and greeting and have their names in the programmes.

I think as your three bridesmaids are family, then friends will understand. You can definitely include your two friends as ushers if you wanted to give them a different smaller role, or just invite them to get ready with you and the bridesmaids on the morning, and be involved in the hen do?

It's your wedding, so you can have as many bridesmaids as you like. But I think there is a risk that, if you end up having a sixth of the total number present in the bridal party, it could look a bit odd. And that's assuming all 30 guests turn up - if you have any who can't make it, the percentage could be even bigger.

You could have them involved in the planning without making them bridesmaids - so they could maybe dress shop with you, get ready with you, but just not wear matching dresses or walk up the aisle with you. You could also involve them in other ways - maybe ask one to be a witness and the other to do a reading?

I think sticking with the three is the ideal, but maybe keep the others in mind and hold back on asking just yet?

Since you have plenty of time, I wouldn't worry about asking them immediately, and if anyone asks you can always say you're still considering it. Don't worry about having an imbalance between bridal party and guests - it's your day, which makes it entirely your decision. But keep in mind relationships change evolve, and your feelings about it may also change as time passes. If you still feel strongly that you want five when it comes to a year before the wedding, then go for it.

Oh I 100% get it! I'm the same, total organised nutter and had basically everything planned and sorted in about a month! It's sort of why I advise holding off a bit.

I have two close friends who were my immediate choices for bridesmaids, alongside my sister. One of those friends has now dropped out, all this time in advance (the wedding is 8 months away), and isn't even coming to the wedding - due to her anxiety, and nothing to do with me or our relationship. But as you can imagine I'm now a little bit jaded!

I think one of the disadvantages of being super organised is that you want to get everything decided but then have a lot of time to sit and think. On the one hand, with suppliers you pay a deposit so you can't really change your mind, but changing relationships with friends and bridesmaids can cause long-term issues, especially if you have other friends who are expecting to be asked...