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Savvy June 2023 South Yorkshire

Church flowers, do’s & don’ts.

Gracef, 23 March 2022 at 20:19 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 12
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Hi all,
I’m new to the board, happy wedding to you all.

We’re getting married in June 2023. We are having a church wedding followed by a reception at a near by venue.
Our church is costing almost £1000 which shocked me to my core but anyhow that’s not the issue. (Kind of is if they want to keep my flowers too lol).
The leaflet that we were given on booking and all information online says ‘contact (lady’s name) for floral requirements in church’. This has baffled me a bit as to whether or not I’m allowed to have an alternative florist? Are churches strict about who provides flowers? I have an upcoming consultation with a florist I met at a wedding fayre but don’t know what to say about the church flowers!
I also read somewhere that wedding flowers should be left for Sunday service? Has anyone come across this? Surely not when paying all that money for the church considering the basic CofE fee is just under £600.
Any help would be appreciated Smiley smile.

12 replies

Latest activity by Gracef, 25 March 2022 at 16:40
  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    I think the etiquette is to leave them but this 'rule' has been in place for years when you didn't spend a lot
    I would maybe call the lady and ask her what the deal is and then you will know and can maybe negotiate on keeping them if they say no. We are getting married in an 18th century castle and they are strict on the flowe supplier due to the age of the castle and certain flower pollens or berries etc can stain the stonework, so that may be their concern. Am sure you can work something out with them
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  • T
    Rockstar May 2022 Oxfordshire
    Tamsin ·
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    Our Church just asks you to leave one arrangement, because they won’t have the opportunity to get another arrangement between the wedding and the Sunday service, so I think that’s fair. I’m sure they won’t expected you to leave all the flowers there!
    • Reply
  • R
    Super July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    It's normally considered good manners to leave one arrangement in the place where flowers would normally be for the Sunday (so whoever does the flowers doesn't' have to hang around waiting for your wedding to finish so they can do them)

    The 'floral requirements' thing could mean that they have a florist who can provide a quote, or that you can only use their approved florist or even just that they need to check what arrangements you are going to have and where, so that you don't use anything which might damage a historic building. The only way to find out is to ask, so I would give this person a call to clarify.

    It does seem an eye watering amount to pay for a church, but it sounds as if it is maybe one of those which have become very popular, so they try to whack up the charges to discourage too many from using it. I had a friend who got married in a very historic church and didn't have to pay at all because she was a member, but I know if you had no connection with or interest in the church then you did have to pay quite a bit to use it as a wedding venue.

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  • Sophy
    Curious September 2023 Wiltshire
    Sophy ·
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    We have been told it will be £600 for our church, so it might depend on parishes or size of church?
    They have said we can ask them to do the flowers or we can do them ourselves and get someone in. I think it might depend on each church. I know that our church has a flower rota of local people doing the flowers in the church for each weekly service

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  • G
    Savvy June 2023 South Yorkshire
    Gracef ·
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    Thank you all for your responses. You’ve brought up things that hadn’t even occurred to me such as damage to the building from certain flowers so thank you.


    I wouldn’t mind leaving one arrangement that does seem fair, our venue is literally a walk around the corner which is why I was thinking some could be transferred.
    I just thought I’d ask on here if anyone knew the general etiquette, I didn’t want to be bothering the church with questions with over a year left to plan. I always worry that people will wonder why on earth I’m on their case with so long to go! (That’s my own problem though). Will give the parish a call I think Smiley smile.
    • Reply
  • R
    Super July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    View quoted message

    If there are restrictions on the kind of arrangements you can use or if they require you to use an approved florist, then you really need to know that asap.

    Finer details can always be dealt with closer to the time, but you really need to know now what your general options are, so it would be fine to call them.

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  • L
    Dedicated June 2019
    LuxuriousPurpleBridesmaid73066 ·
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    We paid £400 for our church but I’m in Scotland. Our church had a group of flower conveners and their role was to communicate with our florist to arrange things like church entry to decorate, when to collect her vases after the wedding and to discuss what vases the florist was using and how many. We left our flowers for the Sunday service.
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  • L
    Savvy August 2022 North Yorkshire
    Lee-Anne ·
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    I'm in a different position. Because I attend the church I've asked the lady who does the flowers if she'll do my flowers for the church for my wedding.


    Nearly £1000 is quite shock though. Is that simply for the service or does it include extras?
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  • G
    Savvy June 2023 South Yorkshire
    Gracef ·
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    Thanks for replying. It was definitely a shock, I had read online that Church of England weddings across the board should be a number like £570, the standard wedding in our church is £765 which I thought was quite a discrepancy. An extra £200 which brings us to £965 is for bell ringing and would have been more still if we had gone for the choir etc.


    I’m not quite sure why the standard fee is more than the pricing that the Church of England have set and I also daren’t really question it, the parish administrator isn’t the warmest woman in the world.
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  • K
    Beginner July 2023 Wiltshire
    Kareem ·
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    I wouldn’t think you have to go with church flowerist if u have your own just let them no if u don’t want to leave the flowers u don’t have to it just saves some people the hassle bringing them to the venu lol can I ask why your church wedding nearly 1000 I’m hoped to have a church wedding to but will definitely reconsider if it that much lol
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  • R
    Super July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    A quick check of the website indicates the £560 covers the cost of the church hire, vicar, banns. It doesn't' cover things like cleaning, heating, organist etc, so that may be where the extra £195 has come from (assuming you are not cleaning and/or providing the musicians for your service yourself). I think £200 for the bell ringers isn't bad, since they will be having to give up a large portion of their day (and probably practice the night before) to do it. Churches that are popular venues for weddings have to charge for choir & bell ringers as otherwise, they would be doing it as a fulltime (unpaid!) job.

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  • G
    Savvy June 2023 South Yorkshire
    Gracef ·
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    We have chosen a harpist rather than the organ x
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