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Beginner June 2018

Church or civil ceremony

2bmrsk, 9 January, 2016 at 23:21 Posted on Planning 0 8
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Hi everyone, this is my first post and am hoping I can get some advice here as I have tried everywhere else. I have a major issue, I have only just started planning my wedding, we are looking at either 2017/2018 more looking at 2018 I know is quite a distance away but need to save up etc and this is where My dilemma starts, when me and my partner first got engaged we said we wanted to get married in a church, I am religious but not overly religious my partner is the same along with some of my family members and my partners family is quite religious. However now due to the cost of marrying in a church compared to a registry office and due to loosing 2 family members close together last year and 2 family members having health issues which are unpredictable to how long they will be with us we was thinking about doing it in a registry office however looking at the prices for this year which will obviously increase before we get married there is only 200 pound maximum difference between the church and the registry office and there is no parking outside the registry office only a drop off point and is in the middle of the city centre which has roads that are one way and other roads that are for buses and taxis only etc so makes it that bit more difficult for people to get to and people to park especially those people who are coming to us and haven't being in the city centre before and obviously I dont want people getting fines etc. Booking transport for people to be dropped off outside the registry office will be difficult as like I say people are coming from out of town and not sure where we could have a meeting point for everyone to get picked up from. me and my partner have always said we wanted to get married in a church but now looking at cost and loosing people that are close to us and wanting at the wedding and just wanting to be married to each other now we are leaning to the registry office but the place of the registry office and the difficulty in getting there for guests is putting us off. So I guess what I am asking is if it was you in my predicament what would you choose and why. Thank you for any help and advice you give me and sorry for the long and winding post I just wanted to get everything in. Xx

8 replies

Latest activity by 2bmrsk, 12 January, 2016 at 20:31
  • Paula @ Ollievision
    Paula @ Ollievision ·
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    I'm a wedding photographer so I go to a lot of weddings! Either option will be fine, but as you're after advice to choose then here's my advice...

    Parking is usually easier at churches

    Other people - I don't think you've realised that when you marry in a register office there may be loads of other people around at the venue. For example, Wakefield do 7 weddings on a Saturday morning, so while one wedding is trying to have their group photos in the doorway (there's nowhere else) another wedding can be trying to enter the building around them. Leeds Town Hall can be 14 weddings on Saturdays.... it can be more chaotic than a church wedding.

    Preparation - with church weddings you usually have a rehearsal which you don't get with a register office. I usually do a virtual run through with the couple so they have a better idea of what to expect. I think register office weddings can be a little more stressful for the couple because they are not familiar with the venue and have no rehearsal.

    Usually, but not always, churches are better looking!

    Remember that option 3 is a hotel wedding, where you do the whole thing in one go. That can be an easy option.

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  • L
    Beginner October 2016
    Lakesbride16 ·
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    Hi and welcome to hitched. It sounds to me that both you and your oh would love to get married in a church so I would say go for that. Especially as the price difference isn't much at all and you've got plenty of time to save for it. I think you'll regret not having the ceremony you really want. And the logistics of parking at the register office will worry you.

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  • E
    Beginner May 2016
    ExpensivePinkCars201 ·
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    I think it depends on what is important to you regarding the ceremony. We're having a church ceremony because the spiritual aspect is important to me and when I've pictured getting married in my head, it has always been in church since I was a little girl. For me, that makes it worth the difference in cost.

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  • M
    Beginner May 2017
    MrsW2017 ·
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    If you want to get married in a church then I would say go for that. As the other poster said, it's not that much difference in cost and you have plenty of time to save but it will mean more to you.

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  • P
    Beginner April 2016
    Pooba ·
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    Reading through your post, I get the impression you've already set your heart on the church. With this long to go, you should be able to save the difference Smiley smile

    Congratulations and welcome to Hitched, btw!

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  • GiraffeBride
    Beginner May 2018
    GiraffeBride ·
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    My OH and I had a similar dilemma, with cost being at the heart of it.... in the end we decided to go for the church option. For me a registry office was a definite second choice, I was not really into the idea and at the end of the day it wouldn't feel like my wedding day unless I was saying my vows in a church (sorry, just my opinion, I mean no offence to anyone who feel differently!). I agree that it sounds like you've got your heart set on a church wedding and I'd hate for you to have any regrets.

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  • MadamRed
    Beginner April 2017
    MadamRed ·
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    If I read your post right, are you trying to choose between a church wedding but having to wait to save, or having a registry office wedding sooner?

    If getting married soon is more important to you, you could have a registry office wedding (bearing mind what Paula said, but there's things you can do about the transport side) and then have a religious blessing afterwards.

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  • Jayne E
    VIP
    Jayne E ·
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    I also think that there doesn't seem to be a nhuge difference price wise so you should go with your hearts as to which venue you would prefer. If you prefer a registry office but the parking issues at yours puts you off couldn't you just use a different registry office?

    Congratulations and welcome to hitched x

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  • 2
    Beginner June 2018
    2bmrsk ·
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    Thank you everyone I've spoken to my partner and he has agreed that the church is a major part in what we was wanting so we are going to go for the church and just save like mad, now just book things and save Smiley smile x

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