Church vs Civil Ceremony

I think it depends on if you want god in your marriage.. not 3in a bed type lol!! but if you want the reglious parts. Speak with you other OH as its both your day. Me and OH tho hes not reglious we go to church most weeks and it was natural for us to have a church wedding so can't really help much :-)

If you consider yourself a Christian, there would be no doubt about where you got married, you would feel compelled to do it in the eyes of God.

As a pretty room with pretty windows is swaying your decision, I would suggest the God element may not be as important as you think. So go with what you feel would suit you (and your H2B!) best on the day.

I tend to agree with this to be honest. There are loads of readings you can have in a civil ceremony that make it personal and longer that are not soppy. Look for some by Pam Ayres or Edward Monkton.

I'm not having a church wedding and I'm fine with it. I may decide to have a blessing afterwards when we get back from honeymoon but we haven't decided yet.

We are having two readings during our ceremony and are also having the guests sing a song anyway. We have also gone for all additional optional vows. I think our ceremony will take about 35-40minutes.

There are loads of not so soppy wedding readings out there too.

H2B is not bothered either way. hes not at all religious and is happy to whatever I want. Its more the logistics which are swaying my decision, the extra organising, costs, flowers etc. I am not that religious but I do consider marriage to be a religious thing eg. in the eyes of God. My mum and her husband was brought up Catholic and she had a civil ceremony due to budget issues and they both said it didnt feel any less special. As u point out, my beliefs are obviously not that strong or there wouldnt be a question about it, i supposed im just looking for someone to say that they believe in God but still had a civil ceremony that was just as special!

Ooh yes I like the idea of having a blessing afterwards. What song will your guests be singing if you dont mind me asking?

We haven't entirely decided yet but we're thinking of 'When I'm 64' by the Beatles.

I think a civil ceremony is just as special! A church wedding is also just a 'legal thing' but with religious words.

You are still promising to love and care for one other person for the rest of your life. And to be honest, if you believe in God, he will be with you no matter where you do it. If you believe in God, you will make him part of your relationship also, whether or not you marry in a church.

A civil ceremony generally lasts approx 30 minutes. Like others have said, you can add readings or music. Also, it would be worth speaking to your local registrars office, find out what their general rules/procedures are. You should be able to have the opportunity to choose your own vows, declarations, etc, having had them prrof read by the registrars office before the ceremony.

Good Luck with it all !

H2B and I were both raised Catholic. I stopped attending church as a teenager and had always planned not to have a church wedding. We found a great venue where we could have the ceremony and reception all-inclusive and I really wanted to do this - especially as the majority of the guests are coming from abroad and it would be easier logistically to have them all in one place.

H2B is not devout by any means but feels a stronger connection to the church and wanted to have a church service so I agreed to have a church wedding. It was important to me that since he felt strongly about it we should do it and I knew our families would prefer it. In the end though, we had a falling out the with the priest - which we spent 2 months trying to resolve - and ultimately we've gone back to having a civil ceremony at the venue.

There is a CofE chapel on the grounds and they will allow us to have a blessing there so after the ceremony, we'll go down with our families for an intimate blessing while the rest of the guests start of the drinks reception.

I think this will be the best of both worlds and will more fully reflect who we are... so it has all worked out for the best I think...despite all the stress.

As others have said - you have to do what's right for both of you and if one of you feels strongly about having a church service do it. But if you don't, you can make a civil ceremony personal with readings and music. We're meeting with the registrar in a few weeks and will be talking it all through. I think actually it can be much more meaningful because you make it your own.

Again, I would also agree with this.....

Peter

Thanks for all your opinions, especially SammiV I love what u said and youve made me feel better about the whole thing. Were going to have the civil ceremont and perhaps a blessing after, you're right even though its 'just a legal thing' in my heart ill be promising in front of God also. x