Church Weddings - Questions

*Confettie, can you use it, if so does it have to be natural?

*Photography during the vows?

*Does the price go up if using a videographer.....my church doubled in price if i wanted one.

*Requirements to get married in the church....I was told i was going to have to be christened but that wasnt the case as my other halfs Nan got married in the
church and my father has lived in the parish for over six months.

* Tradditions for the church? - My church has the traditton of the village children locking the gates, you have to throw small change and sweets over the gate for them to let you out, they have done that for a very long time. As you can imgine it would be slightly embarrassing not knowing a little detail like that and the kids not letting you out again .

* A note about Hymns that have to paid for, some hymns i have asked for will have charges.

Hi

I have booked our village Church for our wedding and a leaflet would be fantastic! I don't think ours do one but I would definitely read it if they did!!

We haven't had a formal sit down with the vicar yet, we have just booked the date, as for fees, Im starting to get a bit worried now, I had no idea that you had to pay for hymns etc and that maybe the price could double for allowing a VOG in!

Best I make an appointment with the vicar to find out what's what!!

I have noticed a lot of questions cropping up about the need for a registrar - which as I understand it is not needed for a CofE wedding but is for any other church wedding, (unles the priest is registered). From your use of the term 'Vicar' I am assuming you're CofE - but it still might be helpful to have a bit explaining that a registrar wont be needed, as I can imagine that's a question that crops up a lot.

I would also include something about bands being read and perhaps something about timings (in the lead up to the day)- i.e how early the vicar should be approached, when a formal sit down appt needs to be arranged, when money needs to be paid etc.

Oh and any requiriements such as baptism certificates or information for people from 'out of town' - are they allowed to marry in a church that isn't there local parish - that kind of thing. A list of useful contacts might also be helpful - such as the organist, flowers arrangers - that kind of thing?

Hi!

Other than the usual issues of who is 'allowed' to marry in your particular church andwhat documentation is required, perhaps just a general outline of church marriage procedures. Ie "what to do if you would like to marry in our church" type thing, outlining what needs to be done when so people get the general gist easily.

In addition, every church and vicar seems to have its own policies, procedures and levels of open mindedness, so whatever information is given needs to be relative not just to the Church of England, but your diocese and more importantly your own church.

A full breakdown of obligatory and additional/choice charges would be highly useful, as I know from being on here that everywhere does things differently.

In our case, we got a breakdown of the 'legal costs' (registration clerk etc), basic ceremony charges, heating, organist, vergers, choir, bells, videography license......

There's a relatively nominal fee for use of a designated videographer (vog) which just covers the 'performance' element of the choir and organist- both of whom in our church need paying in pound coins! Odd I know and possibly unique to our church, but it's how they do it.

You would need to state method and times of payment- if we were paying by cash, the rehearsal would be when to pay. As we are paying by cheque, it had to be paid a couple of weeks in advance as in the past they had a couple pay on the day and the cheque bounced! :0o

Another useful one would be facilities: are there toilets/ disabled access/ loop system for people with hearing aids?

What are the rules on photography by guests as well as the TOG?

How long does the service last?

Can you bring in outside entertainment for during the ceremony?

Can you use non traditional music and is there anyone who could play the CD?

Is your vicar ok with using the American way of entering, ie bridesmaids first?

What are the rules on confetti?

When can you get in to the church to decorate?

Are there any nonos regarding readings/hymns/music choices?

Is there the option for the bride and groom to sit during the service if necessary?

Off the top of my head I think that's about it.......

Good luck xx

On top of the things that have already been mentioned, I think in the "who can get married here" section you should possibly put in a mention about your church's policy on divorcees - some places will not marry them at all, others are more flexible depending on the couple in question. My mum organised a little local wedding fair at her church and they had two couples who assumed they would not be allowed to marry there when in fact their vicar is quite liberal and will sometimes do it after discussion with the couple - they were really happy when they found this out!

"What are the rules on confetti?"

Bill I always enjoy your remarks reg. confetti, and as a result I have gone for dried natural petals in cones - love your post on confetti rules, really helped me!

I think most of the things I had wanted to ask have been asked, here is what I wanted to know:

I live 150 miles away from your church. Do I have to have the Banns read in both places?

Marriage preparation - do I have to do this with you? Can I do it where I live? Do I really have to do it?

Do I have to have a bible reading?

The CofE website says you do not to be CofE - is that true?

Do I have to sign registers in the middle or can we do it at the end?

Cost breakdown including cleaners

Details of the choir and organist and if they do weddings and their fees?

Can you have a flower arch over the door?

Is there a room to rush crying children into?

How many people fit on a row?

Do you have pews or chairs?

Can I add/remove things - like can I add big flower arrangement pots/urns or small trees? Can I take out rows of chairs or move them?

Can I borrow your CD player/flower stands?

Can our readings be done from the pulpit?

I love the one above about church traditions - mine doesn't have any but my friend's church has two entrances and it is considered lucky for the bride to use one of them and unlucky to use the other!

xxx

A wedding booklet would be really handy, or even better, have the information available online!

I ended up getting married abroad, but when I called to try to enquire about having a church wedding in the UK, no one ever called back. After 3 calls & 2 emails, I gave up! I'd like included:

- Will there be more than 1 wedding on that day? If there is another straight after, will we be rushed out to accommodate the next one?

- What are the costs- clearly written out. A friend found that their church just asked for a 'donation' but no clues as to what is an acceptable amount.

- Extra costs of organist, bells, choir etc

- Are there floral arrangements in the church already? Can I use my own? Can I put up pew end decorations? Any restrictions on these & who puts them up/takes them down?

- Can the TOG use a flash?

- Clear timeline of when payments must be made & when rehearsals will be

Church of England already DO have people at the bigger fairs. They seemed quite popular but not inundated. if that helps at all?

Our vicar was excellent, we had a meeting with him when we booked. He explained everything and gave us info on readings to choose etc. I'm not really sure what you'd put in a leaflet tbh, the Church of England has a great website with everything you need to know. The rest you can ask your vicar at the booking meeting. That being said, if you wanted a leaflet I think the things already mentioned might be useful?

They shouldn't need to if they have half decent equipment, and if they are a half decent photographer they wouldn't want to either. And it will be very distracting and could ruin what should be a beautiful ceremony. Maybe when you sign the resestrar and walk down the aisle click here for Church wedding photography info

The Church of England has a lot of info on their website https://www.yourchurchwedding.org/ and a vicar can get hold of leaflets etc without too many problems. A leaflet would be good to outline the issues relating to a particular church rather than general ones about C of E weddings (as that info is on-line). I don't understand why more churches don't do that - with contact details for people you need like the organist, flower ladies etc.